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Joined: Mar 2008
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OP
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Thank you to everyone who gave such great suggestions and feedback on the original version. There have been some revisions to the Chorus both lyrically and instrumentally. Also, some additional keyboards have been added along with some basic cleanup of the guitar tracks. Is it better? I hope so! LOL! You get so close to something it's hard to tell sometimes. Not sure if it's because I'm listening now on my headsets but the piano on the chorus sounds way too loud. An easy fix but for what ever reason I didn't notice before. https://soundcloud.com/taylor-j-thomas/when-she-smiles-2104When She Smiles Words & Music by Tom Wilson 2014 I like our quite conversations She speaks without a sound I love the silent way she moves me When there's no one else around Chorus: When She smiles I'm still taken by surprise With all I see within her eyes Maybe I'm crazy just dreaming all the while But I'm still believing when she smiles I like the places we get lost in Most would never understand I love the easy she finds me And reminds me every day that I'm her man Chorus: When She smiles I'm still taken by surprise With all I see within her eyes Maybe I'm crazy just dreaming all the while But I'm still believing when she smiles Instrumental Repeat Chorus
Last edited by Tom W.; 03/03/14 08:51 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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fantastic Tom!Piano isn't too loud for me here.Nice performance!Mike
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Hi Tom.
Maybe try panning it to the other side as it seems to be arguing with the guitar picking to my ears.
Vic
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Thanks Michael, Appreciate it!
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OP
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Vicron, that very well could be the issue. I'm going to revisit and adjust. Thanks!
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Tom, it wouldn't let me listen to it?? :(((( scotty
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Vicron! LOL! sounds more like I'm at a pharmacy rather than a music site! LOL!
Just uploaded adjusted version. Thanks!
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OP
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Richard, try now… just uploaded new version.
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Tom, are you trying to say that you can't quite believe that she actually likes you? If so, I'm not quite sold on the chorus? I can't really tell if thats what you mean and the chorus, especially the hook, should drive your point home in a country song. It's a really beautiful melody and all too so keep working on it or ignore me!! :))))) scotty
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Joined: Mar 2008
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Richard, thank you for the listen and your honest input! It is that the singer feels unworthy of this woman, rather he is just continually surprised and amazed by her. The chorus has been a sore spot here from the start. This is already the second go at it. Still a work in progress though, I'll keep working at it! Thanks again!
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Tom, keep doing it man and remember, whatever it is you're really trying to say, write it down then go from there!! Makes it a lot easier and the rhymes will come to you (I don't know about saying "when she smiles" twice in the chorus?) :))))) scotty
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi Tom,
Oh, good, an excuse to listen again! It's so beautifully romantic, it makes me just....SMILE!
Lisa
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Tom,
Last song I'm listening to tonight, it's sounding really nice. I enjoyed this enough to listen again! My only small sug would be left acoustic pan could be backed off 1-2 db for better balance. Beautiful write!
steady-eddie.
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