|
9 members (Michael W. Brown, Fdemetrio, texritter, bennash, Everett Adams, CTthomas, Gary E. Andrews, 2 invisible),
21,033
guests, and
5,397
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
JPF is Back
by John Lawrence Schick - 07/31/26 11:55 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
"A moment of weakness
compromises even the strongest of unions" And So It Shall Be I'm going for a piece that changes pace in places, is chaotic in places, loud and uncomfortably quiet in places. I know writing substantial parts for each instrument will be a handful so I spend a lot of time trying to layout enough of the vibe I'm going for, so musicians I may bring in, can feel where I'm headed with their part. The strangest thing about it is when I find myself sitting at piano, with an acoustic guitar in my lap and I'm reaching over writing and erasing on staff sheets, like a real composer. SERIOUS MAN, "Who the hell do you think you are?" 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
Top 50 Poster
|
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
Amazing piece of work, Mr. Nelson. I love the change in mood from the verses to the chorus which becomes somewhat whimsical musically. My only nit lyric wise is the second line of the first verse.
I can feel the warmth from a firefly;
hear its sweet song on the wind.
What is the sweet song of a firefly as they don't make a sound that we hear? It's a poetic notion I'll grant you but doesn't make sense to me. Probably doesn't matter as it's such grand poetry for a song but it did jump out at me when I read and listened for the second time. But like I said, it's no big thing.
You really painted a collage of moods withing one song musically and I'm glad I got to hear it in it's early form. It stands alone just fine as is but with what you have in mind for it I can't wait to hear it in finalized form. Thanks for sharing it with us, Sir.
Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710 |
Mr. Nelson, At times like this I stand in awe of your artistry. You orchestrate your melodies so well. You set a mood, tell a story and make it all believable with your shadings of voice and phrasing. You've got the Juice! This CD is gonna be something to listen to.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
Absolutely wonderful Mr. Nelson!I like songs like these that you dare not turn off!Mike
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1 |
Hello Mister Nelson, dude-----YOU'RE TOOOOOOOO GOOD I liked it all but this part was special.... But please… allow me this moment to move you, if I can. Someday I'd love to see you in concert & get your autograph. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 251 |
I would go along with the rest of the group on this. Very intimate selection of instruments and the way you arranged them. Nice vocals. Your lyric is great and goes hand in hand with the feel you have.
Thanks for sharing.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
|
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
Very nicely written and vocalised, Nelson.
Reminded me of "Mr Piano Man".
Just one sugg from me, if I may.
I thought it may sound better (to my ears) if there was less going on music wise. To me it was a bit like the instruments were competing with each other. Just my opinion though and you may be aiming at that effect so just ignore me. :-)
Vic
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
|
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210 |
This is so beautiful. I do agree with Vic on the idea of all the instruments..perhaps in some place it would stand out more to take some of it out...and build back and forth perhaps and as far as the lyrics, that were mentioned by Little Stevie
I can feel the warmth from a firefly;
hear its sweet song on the wind.--perhaps since a Firefly does not make a noise...maybe something like watch its light, dance on the wind ? but then again poetic songs often do not always logically make sense on every line...and still work..
You sound awesome in this as always and the lyric except for that one line, is breathtaking to me...very deep and well done
Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
|
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
MISTER NELSON--
This is the single and the ALBUM COVER--I was mesmorized!
Write on--
Mackie
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Stevie and KimThanks for taking the time to listen and give your input on this one and your kind words are as, always greatly appreciated. OK, bare with me as I try to explain, how I come to write passages such as the one at the beginning of this song. I consider it less waxing poetically and more just writing from a belief that just as in writing a story or a poem; anything is possible in the world you create in a song. I create from the belief that in a heightened state of sensitivity, be it joy or pain, we can be warmed to our souls by things we see and can hear things we normally wouldn’t or come to appreciate, even if only for that moment, sounds we hardly notice come through clear as day. Just as in real life, their emotional state goes a long way in determining what the character think he sees, hears or feels. ************* That being said, I totally understand where you're coming from and I grant you both, that if there was a firefly flying in front of my face as I type this response I would not hear it, nor would I feel any warmth from it's glow.  Thanks again guys
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Very nicely written and vocalised, Nelson.
Reminded me of "Mr Piano Man".
Just one sugg from me, if I may.
I thought it may sound better (to my ears) if there was less going on music wise. To me it was a bit like the instruments were competing with each other. Just my opinion though and you may be aiming at that effect so just ignore me. :-)
Vic I hear you loud and clear on the instruments and hope to get it all smooth out and squared away eventually. Thanks for stopping by
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Mr. Nelson, At times like this I stand in awe of your artistry. You orchestrate your melodies so well. You set a mood, tell a story and make it all believable with your shadings of voice and phrasing. You've got the Juice! This CD is gonna be something to listen to.
As always, I'm grateful for your time and kind words - keeps me working hard.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Absolutely wonderful Mr. Nelson!I like songs like these that you dare not turn off!Mike Thank you Mike. Thanks what I'm aiming for, brother.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
|
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Oh my gosh, Nelson...this is gorgeous -- I was blown away! -- Lisa
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Hello Mister Nelson, dude-----YOU'RE TOOOOOOOO GOOD I liked it all but this part was special.... But please… allow me this moment to move you, if I can. Someday I'd love to see you in concert & get your autograph. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart DUDE YOU'RE TOOOOOOOOOO.....KIND
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,521 |
Man, how I love a tune that is nuanced. It is, as mentioned, truly mesmerizing. A beautiful write and delivery. PS There was a time in the late 60's when I probably heard and felt fireflies
Check out our new album Janice Merritt "Am I Blue Enough?"
on Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, Amazon and others.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4,029 Likes: 28
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4,029 Likes: 28 |
Hey Nelson,
Good to hear from you again. I always know I'm in for an interesting ride when you post. I agree with many of the above comments concerning an outstanding write. I'll just point out two possible things that I would experiment with if it were my song--not really nits, but what I think might give a little more build and drama to the song and arrangement.
With your chorus, (I'm not sure) if I would break in the middle, rather, and may save that break for your bridge. I would drop the "Well" on line 5 and continue the established pace & lift which will get you through the chorus a bit faster, as it is long, and especially long with the middle break--but maybe I'm thinking too conventional, as I know sometimes it's fun to break with convention--just "not sure" I like putting the brakes on in the middle of the chorus. Anyway just food for thought, and it certainly isn't imperative. Did you experiment with this song 3 or 4 bpm faster--not sure, but I had a feeling that it might be cool.
With your bridge, I would consider discarding the 3rd line, and really "dramatizing the 2nd line, then capitulating with the final 3rd line--in this manner, the bridge becomes more "climactic" and then your softer chorus outro will contrast that climax and summarize the song better--IMO.
Bridge Idea:
So here I am, with my heart in my hand.
But if you rather not see me, you know I'd understand! (go up on see)
And girl you have my promise, I'd never let you go again.
I'm always impressed with your writes, and love your unique vocal presence. Nice job Nelson! If I'm not clear on an idea and you would like to contact me, that's fine PM. I'm hearing a real cool dramatic tweaked Bridge in my mind.
steady-eddie.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,830
Top 50 Poster
|
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,830 |
Hey Nelson,
Beautiful tune mate.
Nits and crits ?
To me, it needs cuts in the musical arrangement where there is too much happening under the vocal melody line.
Solution ? Do that old Nashville thing where the instrumentation just comes in now and again in a voice/musical response kinda way. Keep simple chord backing, and use those counter melodies to play off / bounce off the main vocal line.
This would be a magical song to arrange. It has so many possibilities.
Good luck with it.
cheers, niteshift
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
I would go along with the rest of the group on this. Very intimate selection of instruments and the way you arranged them. Nice vocals. Your lyric is great and goes hand in hand with the feel you have.
Thanks for sharing. Thank for stopping in and taking it for spin, Fred.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
MISTER NELSON--
This is the single and the ALBUM COVER--I was mesmorized!
Write on--
Mackie It's always a pleasure to have you stop by, Mackie.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Oh my gosh, Nelson...this is gorgeous -- I was blown away! -- Lisa Thanks you much Lisa. BTW Very impressive what you 2 are doing with the songs and the play. Well Done indeed.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
PS There was a time in the late 60's when I probably heard and felt fireflies HUM.... You don't say.... Thanks for your time and the kind words.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Hey Nelson,
Good to hear from you again. I always know I'm in for an interesting ride when you post. I agree with many of the above comments concerning an outstanding write. I'll just point out two possible things that I would experiment with if it were my song--not really nits, but what I think might give a little more build and drama to the song and arrangement.
With your chorus, (I'm not sure) if I would break in the middle, rather, and may save that break for your bridge. I would drop the "Well" on line 5 and continue the established pace & lift which will get you through the chorus a bit faster, as it is long, and especially long with the middle break--but maybe I'm thinking too conventional, as I know sometimes it's fun to break with convention--just "not sure" I like putting the brakes on in the middle of the chorus. Anyway just food for thought, and it certainly isn't imperative. Did you experiment with this song 3 or 4 bpm faster--not sure, but I had a feeling that it might be cool.
With your bridge, I would consider discarding the 3rd line, and really "dramatizing the 2nd line, then capitulating with the final 3rd line--in this manner, the bridge becomes more "climactic" and then your softer chorus outro will contrast that climax and summarize the song better--IMO.
Bridge Idea:
So here I am, with my heart in my hand.
But if you rather not see me, you know I'd understand! (go up on see)
And girl you have my promise, I'd never let you go again.
I'm always impressed with your writes, and love your unique vocal presence. Nice job Nelson! If I'm not clear on an idea and you would like to contact me, that's fine PM. I'm hearing a real cool dramatic tweaked Bridge in my mind.
steady-eddie. Steady Eddie Appreciate you stopping by and taking it for a spin. AS usual, you've noted some interesting nits and crits. I experimented with a lot on this song, not sure about the 3 or 4 bpm but tempo in general, as well as timing, 3/4, 4/4, 6/8. I think I'm  for 3/4. The real experiment on this one was having a more substantial piano presents through out, which is tough not being a pianist. Thanks again for your time and input.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,985 |
Nelson,
Beautiful. A musical and lyrical journey - loved the ride...
Enjoyable start to finish... terrific vocal...
floyd
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481 Likes: 1
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,481 Likes: 1 |
Nelson,
Another example of a great song all the way around. I can't hold a candle when it comes to your talent--so all I can say is another wonderful job. Take care,
Roger
Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199 |
Nelson,
thank you for posting this. Just plain lovely.
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Nelson,
Another example of a great song all the way around. I can't hold a candle when it comes to your talent--so all I can say is another wonderful job. Take care,
Roger I don't know about the candle thing (U R 2 Kind) but thanks a bunch.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,559 |
Count me in as "blown away." Nothing to criticize. I love this. I saw Marc Cohn sitting at the piano from the first rown in a small theatre a few years back and I felt like he was playing to me the entire night. It was such an intimate performance. Same feel here. Incredibly beautiful.
Dave
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Nelson,
thank you for posting this. Just plain lovely.
John My pleasure John. Appreciate the spin.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Count me in as "blown away." Nothing to criticize. I love this. I saw Marc Cohn sitting at the piano from the first rown in a small theatre a few years back and I felt like he was playing to me the entire night. It was such an intimate performance. Same feel here. Incredibly beautiful.
Dave Dave What a beautiful sentiment. I couldn't ask for anything more. Thank You for the FEATHER.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,114
Top 40 Poster
|
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,114 |
You have this lovely Bill Withers type quality in your vocal, but you don't sound like him. You sound like Nelson.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Hey Nelson,
Beautiful tune mate.
Nits and crits ?
To me, it needs cuts in the musical arrangement where there is too much happening under the vocal melody line.
Solution ? Do that old Nashville thing where the instrumentation just comes in now and again in a voice/musical response kinda way. Keep simple chord backing, and use those counter melodies to play off / bounce off the main vocal line.
This would be a magical song to arrange. It has so many possibilities.
Good luck with it.
cheers, niteshift Oops... Sorry I'm so late responding. I appreciate the input on the arrangement. I was going for some sort of mix of current day and classical era sound. (1700 - 1800s) I've been reading up on Bach's use of counterpoint melodies but of course he had the good fortune of not having a wanna be singer screaming all over his compositions. Again_thank you much for stopping by
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,172 Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,172 Likes: 8 |
Hello friend.
It made me cry, the beauty flying around it, the
music and words dance to the sound of your voice
and they rested in my heart and made me cry.
that's what is it all about when you share your music.
Tammy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235 |
Love the hook and the vocal presentation. Really top notch Nelson. I always think your arrangements are really creative and this is no exception. It's got a kind of minimal, open feeling that is really interesting. I like this track a lot.
Peace,
Ian
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Nelson,
Beautiful. A musical and lyrical journey - loved the ride...
Enjoyable start to finish... terrific vocal...
floyd Floyd U R 2 kind. Your time and lovely comments are greatly appreciated.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Hello friend.
It made me cry, the beauty flying around it, the
music and words dance to the sound of your voice
and they rested in my heart and made me cry.
that's what is it all about when you share your music.
Tammy Tammy. I am so pleased you enjoyed and was touched by the song. You're 100% correct - that's what it's all about.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616 |
Love the hook and the vocal presentation. Really top notch Nelson. I always think your arrangements are really creative and this is no exception. It's got a kind of minimal, open feeling that is really interesting. I like this track a lot.
Peace,
Ian
Ian, I really appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts on the track. I didn't think many folks would be into it but I had a blast with this one.
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics128,857
Posts1,185,017
Members21,479
| |
Most Online236,505
Jul 1st, 2026
|
|
|
"The music industry is filled with risk takers, but not so filled with people who educate themselves before taking the leap." –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|
