JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Redoing this:The Slower You Get

Redoing this....

I think you got a good one here, Bugsey.
Probably needs a bass line and a little warmth on the EQ . Drums are a little samey too (no fills etc.).
Good lyric. Good song.

Vic

Bugsey ,
I get a Bruce Springsteen vibe . I like the hook /chorus .Clever.
Can`t wait to hear it when you have re- recorded the song .
Keep up the good work .
All the best
Jan

Thanks Vic, the drums are there as a metronome, lol

Im going to do it again, with about 50 other songs, when, not sure.

Thanks. Thats what they usually tell me Jan.

I need some more gear to really bang out these songs the right way, like a bass, and some mixing goodies. I dont see any checks coming in the mail so it makes you wonder if it's worth the investment.

Thanks for listening.

Nice SONG Bugsey...but yea.. u need to re record it, or at least eq some of those highs away.

Thanks Doug. Not allowed to record a scratch demo any more!

It's so much damn work for such little reward!

The work is it's own reward.

Excellent chorus. The vocal has an interesting element to it, but a little too much of something. The trick is keeping the good thing while you search to "fix" the other. It seems to be sitting over to the right a bit in the headphones.

Keep at it. It'll be a good one.

fj

Might be the stereo spacer. Free plugin I found lol

I had this guitar and drum machine loop for a while. added some piano but didnt envision this being THE track.

I wanna do so many tunes again, people have no idea how much work it is putting a lyric to music, and music to a recording.

Hours upon hours, and then you dont have a master recording anyway.

It's kind of like doing pushups, I guess.

I like it. The lyrics tell the exact story. A little trebly. Bass could warm it up. No need for drums. Maybe a musical "theme" in the body would be good? Good effort!!~

Thanks Differenz, yeah this is a scratch demo. It needs a bass guitar as well as a bass boast!

Appreciate your time, Im liking this myself, Im gonna layer it into a big pop song....one of these days.

I also hear some Springsteen influence in your vocal. I actually like this better than most Springsteen songs.

You can find a serviceable bass for $100. Get one!

Good job.

lol, dude dont say that. No Bruce, you wouldnt have heard this song.

Yeah, i dont want a chit bass, I want a good one!

If Im gonna spend 100 i might as well spend 500.

But then I better buy a good interface, buy a great vocal mic

Buy some insulation to stop traffic noises from filling my songs!

I know this was influenced by this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8PB1a1c9zA

Bugsey,

I'm liking this melody. Neat bridge melody too. You have a great expressionistic concept here with this message that makes you feel sad yet with a smile. I can relate to this song for sure.

steady-eddie.

Thanks Eddie. Yeah, I think it's comforting enough while kind of melancholy. Might sing some parts a big different next time around

pretty cool song Bugsey!Yeah it's kinda like sitting in a deer stand watching all the does walk by.But maybe not.Mike

I like the melody and the conversational lyric. It took me a minute to figure-out the hook. Initially, I thought the "you" was a woman he was singing about and that basically she was moving slowly toward him, hence the "other women" were walking by faster and faster..and he was noticing them less. Then I realized he was referring to himself. Duh..

So I'm wondering if it should not be "the slower I get?" Or perhaps I'm the dumbest person alive and am the only person who did not figure this out. That's entirely possible!

Overall, I thought this was very good. I hear you totally on the recording stuff. I have very little time and money too and it requires both to really get great sounding audio, if you want more than a simple guitar/vox. I would suggest a guitar or piano/vox only for this anyway because it's very strong and I tend to enjoy these "slice of life" songs that way. I guess that's just a personal thing but I think maybe it has more emotional impact for me.

Good luck on the song quest.

Or the family dog circling the dinner table on Thanksgiving

Thanks Wendy for your time on this. I was aware of the changing of POV from verse and chorus. The songwriting books say that is a no no, but I hear too many songs where that rule is broken.

I think the chorus becomes it's own bit, going from the personal in the verse to the general in the chorus. And if the listener only focuses on the chorus, they have a little ditty for themselves.

I could say the slower I get, but it dont seem to ring right for me, the slower you get, seems more like an expression. Just might be my ear.

I like it stripped down, but I also would like to hear it blown up. Will be taking a bit of a break for a while, so I will be ironing out the kinks while on hiatus