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#1081962 05/03/15 11:04 PM
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This is an old tune I wrote in 2012, that I decided to re-record in honor of my son's graduation this past weekend from Florida State University. I originally recorded it when I knew even less about home recording than I do now, with just a guitar and mic (pre-DAW). I was never happy with that recording, so I decided to rearrange, re-record and give it a bigger production. Feedback is appreciated.

Jared's Song (2015)
Music & Lyrics by David S. Becker
©2015 David S. Becker Music
All Rights Reserved

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/jareds-song-2015

Verse 1
I remember when I was much younger
I'd gaze up at the sky and wonder
What I did
To deserve this kid

Verse 2
Well somewhere along the line I must have
Shined a little light while
God had looked my way
I'll never forget that day

Pre -Chorus
The day my son breathed life
And I looked at my wife
Holding this newborn tyke

Chorus (1 - 8)
And it's 1,2 ... You stand on your own
3,4... You tell us your name
And the years fly by
Right before my eyes
And it's 5,6 ... "Dad can we play"
7,8 ... You'd talk so much
I was so amazed
At every word you'd say

Verse 3
So much time has passed since then
Stupid fights and "where ya beens'"
Don't matter none
You've just begun

Verse 4
And you're off to school and on your own
I think about how time has flown
Your soul has soared
The eyes of a child have roared

Pre-Chorus
You've gone to live your life
I pray we taught you right
I pray your light shines bright

Chorus ( 9-16)
And it's 9,10 ... Your out with a friend
11,12 ... Your scorin' a goal
I scream "that's my boy"
You were my pride & joy
And it's 13,14 ... Another game
15, 16 ... More of the same
You were a rising star
You had come so far

Solo
Chorus (17-20)
Well it's 17,18.19,20
"Can I borrow the car and can I have some money"
"I 'll be home real late"
"Don't stay up and wait"

Outro
And the years keep rolling by
That's no child before my eyes
And the years keep rolling by
Thats a man before my eyes
You've gone to live your life
I pray we taught you right
I pray your light shines bright
Tonight and every night


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An absolutely wonderful write, Dave.

A touching all around performance, with special emphasis on your vocals and guitar work.

OUTSTANDING

U ROCK

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Dave,

What a great story, I really like these lyrics especially. Nice job all round however. No nits today!

steady-eddie.

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Hey Mr. Nelson. Thx much for giving this a spin. Glad you enjoyed it.

Dave

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Hello Dave,

A very special song, good work !


Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

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a really great job Dave!Mike

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Simply beautiful, Dave! What a fine tribute to your son. Absolutely love this. As a father with a son of my own, I easily identify with everything you said, and the way you've said it, is just awesome. Really fine work, sir. Thanks for sharing. -TK

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Very nice tribute to your son, Dave. Great performance and production. I love your guitar work. Wish I could play like you do. Maybe bring up the bass in the mix just a little, eq it so it cuts through the mix more as you do...but that's the bass player in me. One of my favs of your's.

Stevie


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Hey Eddie,

Thx much for the listen. Glad you enjoyed it. Hope all is well.

Dave

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You did well here Dave.

When I first read the lyric I winced at the word "Tyke" but the way you delivered it in song it works.

Good job.

Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

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I`ve been around a while David, and I always listen to your stuff, and its always great, lots of finish in it,hope that's the right word...lol anyway I always enjoy your work. Lane



"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Thx Calvin for the listen and commenting. It is always appreciated.

Dave

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@Michael ... Thx for the listen Michael. Always appreciated.

Dave

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Hi Dave,

Great song! I really liked the storyline to it. I think you did a good job with the guitar work too. Best of luck with it!



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@TKo ... thx for the kind words. Appreciate the listen.

@Stevie ... Thx as well Stevie. Finally picked up that bass I was talking about getting. It is clearly not my first instrument. Work in progress so to speak. Thx for the recording tip. Playing as well as mixing and recording the bass are all works in progress for me.

Dave

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Dave, what a lovely sentiment! I hope your son appreciates your talent as much as the rest of us. Nicely done.

This made me laugh:

Well it's 17,18.19,20
Can I borrow the car and can I have some money

Ricki

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@Vic a Lane ... Thx much for the listen and comments. They are always appreciated.

Dave

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Hi Dave. Enjoyed the down to earth lyrics which certainly ring true.
Took me a while to realize the numbers were years. Nice flow to it. Cheers.

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@Wesley ... Thx for the listen. It is greatly appreciated.

Dave

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@Rickie ... Thx for giving this a spin Rickie. Much appreciated.

Dave

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Hi David,

Really good song, capturing your son's growing-up and becoming a man. There's little to nit as for as the song itself goes.

As for the production, I think it was all mixed a little too hot. I think you could bring the guitar back a DB or two. The drums as well. But this mixing stuff is subjective, ten producers might mix a song ten different ways.

But because the mix is so hot, the vocals have been brightened to get them over the mix, and that has added some sibilance to the proceedings. If you recorded this into your DAW, you could curb the esses manually by automating the volume on the really bad ones, or automate the the mid-high EQ to lower at the moment of the troubling esses. or use a de-esser sparingly, of course. There are a few moments were the drums are out as well.

But the dual guitar solo is excellent, as are both the lead and harmony vocals, and it's a fine arrangement.

Great work!

Mike


Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 05/10/15 05:42 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)

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