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#1191928 11/15/23 04:21 PM
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This is an old song that I was never quite happy with, so I went back and worked on it again, changing the chords in the chorus. I also added a spoken verse and would appreciate some feedback on that. Is it just too schmaltzy, obnoxiously sentimental? Should I just leave it out and go straight to the third verse at the end of the fiddle solo?

LISTEN AT SOUNDCLOUD


OVERFLOWING
(Words & Music by Gavin Sinclair)

Many the night that we have sat around this table
The tales we’d tell and the jokes that we would crack.
I’d put my arm around you now if only I were able
If only I could have you back.

We’ll save a place for you, my friend
Whom we’re so proud of knowing
And though the chair be empty now
Our hearts are overflowing.

Many the glass that we have raised to one another
Laughing eyes across the foam
This was a party that we thought would last forever
I cried when you went home

We’ll raise a glass to you, my friend
It is our way of showing
That though the glass be empty now
Our hearts are overflowing.

So here we are, full glasses and hearts overflowing with memories.
And we sing of good times that won't come again.
Sometimes, when someone makes a joke, I forget and look around, try to catch your eye and I feel a tear in my own.
So what can we do, but raise our glasses to an empty chair and say we still love you and miss you?


This old room still may ring with our laughter
At the memories that you left behind
But in our hearts there’s a before and there’s an after
A clock we can’t rewind

We’ll tell our tales of you, my friend
Until it’s time for going
For laughter’s never empty when
Hearts are overflowing

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You already know I love this lyric! wink
You harmonizing is a real treat.

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Hey Gavin how are ya ?

"That's a real good story-line my man"

Enjoyed this a lot
Keep moving on


We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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F
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F
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Love it! It definitely small bar room feel to it while everybody sways back and forth.

I especially like the spoken word part, really sounds authentic and reminded me a bit of ray Davies in come dancing, the spoken word part.

One thing that threw me was having different lyrics in chorus, I think the listener is looking for that chorus to be the same, at least twice e.

But I think this could be an instant classic, good drinking song.

Sounds great and might be your best song to date.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 11/15/23 10:55 PM.
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Originally Posted by JAPOV
You already know I love this lyric! wink
You harmonizing is a real treat.
Yes, I remember you liking this back when I posted the original version. So, to my question in the OP about the spoken part -
Keep it?
Improve it? (This was a first stab at it)
Toss it?

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It's a "tribute", so the spoken part is fitting.
I'd like to hear lots of voices and just a strumming guitar at the end smile

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Originally Posted by JAPOV
It's a "tribute", so the spoken part is fitting.
I'd like to hear lots of voices and just a strumming guitar at the end smile
Thanks Tony. I agree about the lots of voices. Ideally, I hear each verse sung by a different person and everyone on the chorus. Interesting idea about the simple guitar at the end!

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Originally Posted by bennash
Hey Gavin how are ya ?

"That's a real good story-line my man"

Enjoyed this a lot
Keep moving on
Thanks Ben

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It's a good, meaningful song with a pleasant melody, Gavin.
Best I've heard from you maybe.
Not sure about the double vocal thing but they're ok. Are they digitally generated?
Nice one though.

Vic


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Originally Posted by Vicarn
It's a good, meaningful song with a pleasant melody, Gavin.
Best I've heard from you maybe.
Not sure about the double vocal thing but they're ok. Are they digitally generated?
Nice one though.

Vic
Thanks Vic. Do you mean the vocals in the chorus? There isn't anything digitally generated, although I did use Melodyne pretty liberally on the harmonies. The aim was to create a swelling chorus
I recorded the vocals ages ago on a cheap mic (not that the one I have now is expensive lol). I think it actually adds warmth, but it's not exactly sharp smile

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Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Love it! It definitely small bar room feel to it while everybody sways back and forth.

I especially like the spoken word part, really sounds authentic and reminded me a bit of ray Davies in come dancing, the spoken word part.

One thing that threw me was having different lyrics in chorus, I think the listener is looking for that chorus to be the same, at least twice e.

But I think this could be an instant classic, good drinking song.

Sounds great and might be your best song to date.
Thanks FD, not sure about the instant classic, but yes, best enjoyed with a beer.

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Really nicely done Gavin....takes me back to my folk clubbing days...listening to PP and Mary back in the 60's in TO

Steve


Creators of music have a responsibility to their craft. When they have finished using all the notes and words, they must pass them down to the next generation with a simple request. “Use these to create new music.”...Steven McDonald
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Originally Posted by VNORTH2
Really nicely done Gavin....takes me back to my folk clubbing days...listening to PP and Mary back in the 60's in TO

Steve
Thanks Steve. Glad you enjoyed it. Definitely a folk song smile


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