JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback A.I. Assisted Music Forum Do You Hear Me Calling, Now?

I wrote this in 1994 while working as an LVN in a Neo Natal Intensive Care Unit working with a LOT of drug babies. This is sung from the perspective of the fetus.


https://suno.com/s/gjGkbhzCiPbzHCoc


V1
Good morning, you up there
Can you hear me way down here?
What’s for breakfast, what’s for lunch?
A cigarette first, of course.

Careful now, it’s me in here
Do you know the man upstairs
Will he be there when I
arrive?

Chorus
Music under water sounds so beautiful.
Is that you talking to me?
Is that my father or will his name escape you?
Are you escaping now?
Are you escaping now?

V2
I hear your heart, do you hear mine?
Thanks to you I’m feeling fine.
A little faster than I’d expect
but so is yours.

v3
Tell me now, when I arrive
will I be able to survive?
What you need, I need like you
will you feed me too?

Music under water sounds so beautiful.
Are you singing this song to me?
What's that I feel, does the name escape you?
Are we escaping now?

interlude

bridge
Hey set em up, I could use a drink,
I’ve been awake for 3 long days.
Shoot one up, I crave another,
more than a mother, now.
More than a mother now.

solo

v3
Well I’m here and underweight,
tell me why my body aches.
Not for breakfast, not for lunch
This is why why I cry so much.

Music under water was so beautiful
now your're never around.
where is my father, what will he call me?
Do you hear me calling, now?

Do you hear me calling now?

Do you hear me calling now?

Tough lyric to write Michael....punches hard.that v3 and chorus is stellar

Don't think you need the references to God, because it is pretty powerful as is....

The "man upstairs" is one of several guys that could be the father. I guess you could say it references "God' too. But my intention was not to be ambiguous here. I guess either can be interpreted. Thank you for the listen and critique, John.

Writing from the perspective of an unborn child dealing with maternal addiction is an incredibly daring choice. It showcases an ability to tackle complex, uncomfortable human conditions without relying on cliché. The recurring line "Music under water sounds so beautiful" is genuinely brilliant lyricism. It creates a haunting, cinematic contrast to the dark theme.

The imagery here is incredibly powerful, and the 'womb POV' is a daring, creative choice—especially the metaphor of underwater music. It’s undeniably strong writing. However, because the subject matter is so heavy and raw, it feels like a niche piece rather than a commercial track. It's tough to digest, which means it might struggle with repeat streams or mainstream appeal. If the goal is marketability, opening up the chorus to a more universal emotional hook could help listeners connect without feeling overwhelmed by the darkness of the verses.

I have to admit, I enjoyed listening to this but it did give me shivers. You are a very talented writer.