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I'm not religious, and this is the only Chrisitan song I've ever written. It was inspired by a bar called "Saints and Sinners," which was close to where I worked selling pianos. I know that the lyrics are good, so if you care to critique this song, please put you commercial hat on and help me sell it. I'm playing all the tracks but my real old bud is singing it. I still don't know how I got the Kurzweil voices to sing "You Are" at the end of the song.

YOU ARE:

Never seemed to be, a lucky man.
Went about my life, without a plan.
Then I saw a Light, and heard "I Am," yes I am. 'Cause you are, yes you are.

You are the sunlight, daybreak, midnight.
You are the heartbeat, oceans, concrete.
You are the seasons, my rhyme my reason.
Who I beleive in. You Are, You Are.
The saints and sinners, losers, winners.
They recognize you, love you, despise you.
You are the power, the desert flower,
You're every hour. You are, you are (2X)

People everywhere, they know your name.
Even I have said it, some times in vain.
Shooting off my mouth, before I aim.
Now I aim, 'cause you are, yes you are.

So many voices, questions, choices.
So many visions, answers, opinions.
The fire that's burning, the tide that's turning.
Through you I'm learning. You are (2X)
The sick and healthy, needy, wealthy.
All have the promise, the cheaters, the honest.
You are the shining, the silver lining.
The word is binding, You are )2X)
You are the savior, Alpha/Omega.
Thanks for the favor. You are. You are (3X)


Charles Silhan(ASCAP) (c)2005

If you can re-write this and keep the lyrics close, I'm listening. Thanks
Chas

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www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=111254

[This message has been edited by chazma2 (edited 03-19-2006).]

[This message has been edited by chazma2 (edited 03-20-2006).]

Chas,

At first I wasn't sure how to approach this song.
But as it went on it just grew on me quickly..
especially the repeating "You Are"

I was thinking, not sure though about the first chorus being a little shorter.. more of a teaser..

But then i felt it just drives the song to hear it in full..

One thing I am sure of is this would sound great if one of my ALLTIME favorites was singing it.. Maurice White & Philip Bailey of EWF..

I think having someone in there style demoing the vocals.. would be great.. They are so unique (hard to find) anyone who can do that..
Your friend did do a nice job though..

This should be done IMHO with a total soulful approach!

I personally really liked this one the chorus is still in my head.. has a great feel to it,,the song is unique and old school to in a classic sense..

Peace
Sub

Thanks a ton Sub,
I would love to hear a different vocal, especially who you suggested. It's in too low a key for my friend to sing his best (still sounds better than my voice though).Anyone have a Gospel chrous I can borrow? Thanks for listening and commenting.
Chas



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www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=111254

chazma2--Your old "bud" has a wonderful voice. I'm not sure if it's my speakers, but the mix needs improvement. Some spots I couldn't understand the lyrics. This may be on my end.

I like the flow and the peaceful feeling it puts across. I do think you need to get your vocal more up front, because it's so real and genuine. The arrangement is good. But like I said it sounded a little "fuzzy".

I really like the song. terribob

Terribob. It's not you. As Sub was saying, my friend is not quite the right person to be singing this tune. It's a long story, but I didn't expect that my friend would want to sing this song, which is right at the very bottom of his vocal range. The mix should be improved, but probably not by me.It would require that I knew what I was doing on the old AW16G.
Thanks again,
Chas

I have to agree with the above comments although through my studio monitors it sounds really good. My only criticism is that I think the strings were far too busy in the mix and sounded like something Band In A Box would have thrown up when I used to do my music on an Atari ST back in the olden days before real computers. Although it is a nice song I thought the synthetic midi perfect timing didn't do the song justice. If it was recorded with a full orchestra and sung by "as you admit" the right voice then you have a real contender. Only my opinion of course.

Mark,
I guess the strings do get a little busy. Ideally, the vocal tension would increase near the end. I was trying to compensate for that and I probably made matters worse. For this song to be marketable, I'll probably have to totally re-do it. It would really be fun to chart this for a full orchestra. I really appreciate the feedback.
Chas

Chas,
Like you I am not well versed (no pun intended) in Christian music. But I sure as heck like this.
The intro and outro are very cool albeit simple.
I really like the ominous feeling to the instrumentation, nice work.
I agree with whomever said the voice should be more up front. It does get lost from time to time. Perhaps a bit more treble on the main vox too. (just my knee jerk opinion on that).
On the strings. . . I got no opinion. I can't do midi, so if it is half way nice it always sound amazing to me.

Good work,
Tom

[This message has been edited by Somefellow (edited 03-20-2006).]

Thank you Tom,
One the great things about these JPF Boards is sometimes the obvious needs to be pointed out to the songwriter. The guy singing lives about 900 miles away from me, so I couldn't easily get him to redo it in a more appropriate key. His volume was not constant because the song was too low, and "P's" were popping all over. Not fun to mix. I guess I was hoping the quality was good enough. I see now that it isn't.
If you really want to hear how well my friend and his wife can sing, listen to the song, "Funny Things," on my Soundclick site. He did that in one take. It is such a rush to hear someone who can really sing, perform one of your songs. Thanks to everyone for the feedback.
Chas


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www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=111254

Love the song, Chas. Man it just snuck up on me!

Agree with the comments about the vocals. The singer is not bad by any means (much better than me!). Just needs, in my opinion, a different vocal style. More soul, as Sub says.

Nice work!

Scott

Thanks, although it's probably not nice to sneak up on someone. We all agree...new vocals. I still have all the tracks if we have any volunteers out there, and someone who knows what they're doing could probably mix it better too. (like Sub)
Chas



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www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=111254

Man I wouldn't change nothin, love it.

Very kind. But I still gotta find someone to sing it.