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This lyric began its life back in 2002 and I've been wrestling with it ever since, mostly trying to get it to music. Finally, I've written some music for it that I believe works....leans toward bluegrass. Anyway, before I lay down the vocals, I wanted to get some more feedback on the words. Thanks!
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Clay County
© Copyright 2004 Randall Baker, BMI

Verse:
I’m taking a trip to Clay County
If you’d like to go with me
I don’t know what we’ll find down there
Except for a few old memories
The people I knew have passed away
Or moved on to other climes
I just want to walk around
And remember the simpler times

Chorus:
Let’s go down to Clay County
Where the St. Francis River flows
The scent of honeysuckle dances
Whenever the warm breeze blows
The ghosts of times forgotten
Linger like old friends in the air
I’ve not been back there in ages
But a voice still calls to me from there

Verse:
The old home place burned down long ago
Trees grow where our farm once stood
But my mind still holds the pictures
I can see more than earth and wood
And farther down that old gravel road
The little white church still stands
Where I married your mother
And we traded those golden bands

Chorus:
Let’s go down to Clay County
Where the St. Francis River flows
The scent of honeysuckle dances
Whenever the warm breeze blows
The ghosts of times forgotten
Linger like old friends in the air
I’ve not been back there in ages
But a voice still calls to me from there

Verse:
Well the years come and then they go by
And we climb those hills of time
But I always carry Clay County
I keep it tucked away in my mind
Sometimes I think I left something there
That I’ll never find again
Something that still calls to me
Wondering where I’ve been

Chorus:
Let’s go down to Clay County
Where the St. Francis River flows
The scent of honeysuckle dances
Whenever the warm breeze blows
The ghosts of times forgotten
Linger like old friends in the air
I’ve not been back there in ages
But a voice still calls to me from there




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Hey Randy,

I like this a lot. Just 2 things- there are several lines that seem to have words that aren't needed, and the verse meter feels a lot like the chorus. Looking forward to hearing it

Bill

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We too often throw around the word "great" like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be.

Hi Randy

for me the first verse is the weakest (kinda blase), it's almost as if you could do without it. You could always start with the chorus, it covers all the basses and there's enough of a great story to go around.

nice writing

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and sure Bill, if i could dictate to a speed typing secretary i coulda posted first


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Bill,

Thanks much. Glad you like it. Before I record this, I'll go through it once more and see if I can eliminate some extraneous words. It sings pretty well like this, but I can probably trim a little more without tampering with the melody.

I don't disagree about the verses and chorus metering pretty close to the same. I tried to be careful of that when putting it to music. I think it's okay, but you can tell me when I get the sound posted.

Thanks again,
Randy



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Hiya Ritt -

Think the first verse is blase, huh? Hmm. Well, I was hoping it was closer to done than that, but thanks for saying so. Will definitely be interested to see if others think so. I suppose it could start out with the chorus. I've haven't written one that way in a while, but nothing wrong with it.

Thanks for taking a look and offering your input. I'll mull that over, for sure.

Randy

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Hi again

nothing wrong with the first verse but the chorus makes it somewhat redundant; saying basically the same thing only better. Being from Nashville I'm sure you're aware that if you don't grab their attention in the first 30 seconds, then into the can you go.

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Ritt,

Your point is well taken. Honestly, I hadn't really thought that it was redundant. You could be right, though. That pesky first 30 seconds does often get in the way of writing a song...that's for sure.

Though I am from Nashville, I wouldn't say I have the typical Nashville writer mindset. Just happens I was born here. That fact probably hasn't done much to help my music career along and in many ways I'm sort of an "anti" Nashville writer. At least when it comes to the majority of mainstream music industry machinations around here. For a person interested in music and songwriting, though, it can be rather handy to be from a major music center. Same would apply there in New York, I'm sure.

Thanks again for your insight on this one. It's much appreciated.

Randy

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Hi Randy

I'm gonna have to agree with Ritt...
and personally..I would just start with your chorus...it says enough of the same thing to carry into the 2nd verse.
that and the length of the song..I would have to agree with Ritt...
other than that and a possible trim..great story..nice write

Smile

Hi Smile,

So, another vote for cutting the first verse. Duly noted. Actually, even with three verses it doesn't run too long. It's got a pretty quick tempo. Shaving off the first verse wouldn't leave it too short, though.

Glad you like it, though. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

Randy

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Hey Randy,

Just an idea of what I was talking about

I’m heading down to Clay County
If you’d like to come with me
I don’t know what's left there
Besides some memories
The folks I knew have passed away
Or moved to other climes
I just want to walk around
And remember simpler times

And for the record, I don't think V1 duplicates ther other verses, nor do I think it's weaker. Actually, if I was going to cut anything, it would be V3, and maybe write a bridge with a different melody

Bill


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We too often throw around the word "great" like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be.

I particularly like the chorus in this one.

Those last 4 lines in the 3rd verse seem just a tad on the weak side. I know what you're saying and it'll probably sing fine. I wish I could offer you a suggestion but I'm brain dead. So, I'll say goodnight and that I'd like to hear it "noised".

Hi Randy...take Bill's last critique...and I will say Ditto.....

Bill's thoughts "And for the record, I don't think V1 duplicates ther other verses, nor do I think it's weaker. Actually, if I was going to cut anything, it would be V3, and maybe write a bridge with a different melody"

Yep...that 3rd verse..in part...condense more....maybe break up the meter a bit different...and make into a bridge?....

I can see where your chorus..could be sung differently than your verses...but can also see Bill's point... one other thought..
WHOOPS....should have said first...I really Like this..(sorry)........I'm wondering...
on that word climes.....not something I've heard in conversation....but I know what you're saying there... it may almost sing like climbs?.....(that might just be me Randy)....

I think this is really going to be good....
I'd just think about that verse changing to a bridge.....

Best Wishes..
Kaley

P.S. on the climes....... wondered...maybe
could put in the thought about..

"but I still see their faces"
would need to change last line then....too..
and might mess ya up for your..2nd verse.

I'm not sure the second verse works. Seems you're talking to people in general in the first verse, then to one of your kids in the second ('cause you can't have married everyone's mother). Those don't jive.

Hi Randy

take a look at this

Let’s go down to Clay County
I’m taking a trip to Clay County
If you’d like to go with me
Except for a few old memories
Where the St. Francis River flows
The scent of honeysuckle dances
Whenever the warm breeze blows
The ghosts of times forgotten
The people I knew have passed away
Or moved on to other climes
Linger like old friends in the air
I’ve not been back there in ages
But a voice still calls to me from there
I just want to walk around
And remember the simpler times
But a voice still calls to me from there

and now this

Chorus:
Let’s go down to Clay County
Where the St. Francis River flows
The scent of honeysuckle dances
Whenever the warm breeze blows
The ghosts of times forgotten
Linger like old friends "in my mind"
I just want to walk around
And remember the simpler times



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Hi again, Bill.

Thanks for looking back in on this and for chiming in on whether or not to axe the first verse. Cutting the third verse and adding a bridge wouldn't be a difficult task, either. Something else for me to mull over.
Good suggestions. I appreciate it.

Randy

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Tricia,

Thanks for checking in on this. Glad you like the chorus. I'm weighing my options on restructuring this, but if I decide to cut a verse and add a bridge, those last four lines of V4 will likely be history. I think you're right that they're the weakest of the group.

Once I get the lyrics finalized, I'll get some "noise" put up so you can have a listen.

Randy

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Hi Randy,

Here's what I would do....

V-1 out. Start with chorus.
Then V2...which is now V-1.
Chorus again.
Write a new V-2.

Also, take out reference to "your mother" and make it "my sweetheart" or some such thing. Then it will be as if you're talking to the audience when you say "let's go down" rather than your kids. Those last two lines in that verse are rather redundant in that "married" and "traded golden bands" means same thing, in my mind. Maybe need to rethink that.

Some of the thoughts in your current V-3 are good and could be incorporated in the new V-2: "climb those hills of time"..."sometimes I think I left something there I'll never find again." I like those a lot.

I really like this song and think Bluegrass is the right feel for it. The chorus sings to me, although my melody won't accommodate "St. Francis River!"

Hope this is helpful....and good luck with it!

Randy,

I have to disagree most strongly with Joyce on this one. Verse one does exactly what a first verse is supposed to do. It provides the setting for the song, lets you know where you are in relation both physically and time wise... to my thinking this is a classic first verse. My other favorite first verse are Don Schlitz' "The Gambler", and Kristopherson's "Bobbie McGee".

I do agree with Bill that if you condense just a tad, you're good to go on this one.

Kudos and applause.

dawg

Thanks to all of you who've given such good input on this lyric. It is greatly appreciated. I've got a good idea of what direction I'll be taking this, so I'll try to get a re-write, complete with audio, up soon. Then you can pick it apart anew.

Thanks a bunch to each of you.

Randy

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I defer to Dawg, he knows far more than I when it comes to country song lyrics!

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Hiya Randy,

Looks good to me! I’d consider eliminating some of the unnecessary words, to make it sing better. Nothing major, just sing it this way and see if you like it better:


Verse:
Takin’ a trip to Clay County
If you’d like to go with me
Don’t know what we’ll find down there
Except a few old memories
People I knew have passed away
Or moved to other climes
I just want to walk around
Remember simpler times

Chorus:
Let’s go down to Clay County
Where the St. Francis River flows
Scent of honeysuckle still dances
When the warm breeze blows
While ghosts of times forgotten
Linger like old friends in the air
I’ve haven’t been in ages
And somethin’s calling to me there

Verse:
The old home place’s burned a long time ago
And trees grow where our farm once stood
Though the mind still sees the pictures
I can see more than earth and wood
And farther down that old gravel road
The little white church still stands
Where I married your mother
When we traded golden bands

Verse:
Years come and then they go by
And we climb those hills of time
But I always carry Clay County
Tucked back in my mind
Sometimes I think I’ve left something there
That I’ll never find again
Down in Clay County a voice’s asking
Boy, …wher've you been?

Chorus:
Let’s go down to Clay County
Where the St. Francis River flows
Scent of honeysuckle still dances
When the warm breeze blows
Ghosts of times forgotten
Linger like old friends in the air
I’ve haven’t been in ages
And somethin’s calling to me there


[Tag]

Yeah, it's been ages and
...Somethin's calling to me there

Keep or sweep! Hope it helps.

Stan ;-)

Really nice, Randy. Bluegrass would be perfect for this. Let us know when you get the tune up. Great work, especially the chorus.

CP

Stan and Corey,

Thanks for taking time to look this over and offering some kind words. I appreciate. I'm hoping to get this recorded this week, if time allows.

Randy

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