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JPF is Back
by John Lawrence Schick - 07/30/26 06:35 PM
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néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Joined: Feb 2001
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OP
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Thrill Me
©2004 Corey Parkman
My crazy cousin likes to skydive
Says it makes him feel so alive
His feet in the clouds and the wild wind rushin' past
He wants me to come try it out
Rather keep my feet earthbound
'Cause I've got better ways to make my heart beat fast
Chorus
So come here pretty baby and thrill me
You're the sensation that fulfills me
Dangerous curves and extreme desire
That's the rush that fuels my fire
So come a little closer and thrill me
My buddy's got a gal on the sly
Says it's the risk that gets him high
The thought he might get caught with that pretty young thing
But I don't need to run around
'Cause my biggest charge is found
In the arms of the sexy girl that's wearin' my ring
(Repeat Chorus)
Bridge
Adrenaline
Pulses racing
Skin to skin
I'm anticipating
(Repeat Chorus)
[This message has been edited by Corey (edited 06-27-2004).]
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Hey Corey,
Nice lyric. In the chorus I'm wondering how it would sound if L4 was "That's the rush that fuels my fire", it meters better for me, with a change in L3 to accomodate it.
Bill
------------------
We too often throw the word "great" around like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be
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Corey, you write killer love songs. This is cool. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif)
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Corey
You didn't have to write this just because you stated you were observant on my post. I'm sure she still loves you anyway.
Nice write as usual and it has some easy to perceive images.
Not much of a story like a lot of your stuff but a good write. Chorus has been done before but then it didn't take a skydiver to get the idea across.....Lotsa brownie points in this one!
Good writing.
Eric
If you're going to judge someone, do it on the side of mercy.
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Thanks Bill. Good suggestion... I'd been wanting to work the word 'extreme' in there somewhere and your line change allowed that addition in line 3. I appreciate the help.
CP
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nicely written love song. it would make any girl smile me thinks.
I endeavor to change one heart and one mind, one word at a time.
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Thanks Tricia. I think this one's got appealin' stuff for the girls and guys, so I'm glad to have heard positively from both sides.
CP
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Hey Eric. Naw, this was written before that lame-brained comment ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/wink.gif) . Glad you liked this... it's meant to be more idea driven than story driven. I made a slight change to the chorus since you read it; maybe it's a tad more exciting now, but I know what you mean, it's nothing earth-shatteringly original. Thanks for the visit. CP
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Mornin' Corey,
Extremely romantic...nice work!
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Hi Ritt. Sometimes I'm just not quite sure how to respond to your responses . Thanks Quality. I'm happy you enjoyed! CP
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Thanks Ann. I'm glad this appeals to the ladies (a.k.a. the driving force in country music sales) . CP
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Corey,
Interesting ryhme scheme. Lots of info cramed into two verse. Nice Job.
Selina
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Up tempo, makes the singer look cool to females, tight rhyme scheme, short enough to be radio friendly. I think you got a good shot at a cut with the right music. Get this one to music quickly.
Fine writing.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes
age just shows up alone.
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Thanks Selina. I like to say a lot with a little when I can; my college English Comp. professor would be proud . CP
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Thanks Dawg. I hope someone'll want to do a tune for this one, I think it's got some potential. Glad you agree.
CP
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Corey, I couldnt agree with dawg more this has great appeal to all. And I can feel a beat that stays with ya. Great job Ken
Poems belong in bookstores. Lyrics belong in songs.
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Thanks Ken. I appreciate the read and the kind words!
CP
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Hiya Corey.... this is very nice....would think very appealin to the gals out there for sure... best...... Kaley
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Thanks Kaley. Good to hear from you.
CP
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