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seems I've been getting back to the land starting out this 2005


scarecrow
© 2005 john voorpostel


summer burned the fields lying fallow and unfurrowed
where the scarecrow stood alone looking meagre almost hollow
I held a dandelion up and waited for the wind
like once upon a time waiting for the rain again


in deepest darkest winter there's a tiny living thing
for the scarecrow to look after during longer days of spring
it will fight the dandelion and the nascent quarterfoil
like once upon a time when I gardened in this soil


now cultivating gardens seems a children's fantasy
while the scarecrow stands alone tattered burning in this heat
the lonely dandelion waits and watches for a friend
like once upon a time waiting for the world to end


I'm sure the dandelion sighs and tries to tell the wind
scarecrow's hope is virtue while our anger is the sin
having learned the lesson I embrace it and I'm sure
that once upon a time will come around to me once more

Hi John

and just when i had found peace at last
the scarecrow turned around and kicked my ass

is kinda sorta what i get out of this

well just the opposite...Ha!

I'd say it's an excellent poem and might make a fine song. Unusual with no chorus or even a refrain. But there have been some good songs that way. Good writing.

I don't get it 100%, but I was close. Yeah, it's more poem than lyric, but I like it. Nothing to suggest to you offhand. Nice job.

Anthony


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Anthony's BeSonic site-- Open 24 hours!

I like it. As others have said, it's not a typical song structure, but that certainly doesn't mean it can't work. Only little thing that came to mind was that you could almost change the title to "Dandelion". Seems to be as much focus on it as the scarecrow...or just name it "Once Upon A Time". Just some thoughts, but I enjoyed the read. You're good at these "land" things.

Randy

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http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=RandyB
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/4/randybakermusic.htm

HiDee BurleyBud'!

Nice Wistful Piece..

Allus DID wanna Scarecrow that'd chase away Dandelions..where'd ya GET that'n, Anyways? ;-)>

"KUDOS" for a Nice Soft Write.

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

I agree that ading a chorus might make it more song-like. I also recognize that sometimes things just gotta come out like you feel 'em.

I'd flip "unfurrowed" and "fallow" in the first line, just to maintian the rhyme pattern.

Nice write, and i expect...catharsis?

Eddie

Richard... watch out for those tricky devils... they'll get rid of peky creatures any way they can..


Thanks Bill... it may be a tad poetic as you say, but it sure does sing smoothly... I don't knmow if I'll take it anywhere (its a pretty standard progression as is so nothing innovative)but it was a fun write.


Hiya Anthony...no nits huh... an off day?? Say send me your email addy and I'll fire of that picture of you and I on the piano in Nashville. I just found it the other day cleaning up my hard drive.

It is quite Lovely... John and to me...sings...
smoothly......I enjoyed hearing you sing at Pineyfest...hope when time allows you.....will get some songs...up....
"sincerely mean that".....

best....
Kaley.......


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/4/willownwindmusic.htm

Good stuff John, strong lines one after another.

Open to interpretation, and that is not a bad thing.
I'm going to have to defend it's form.
It's poetic, but I can easily see this with music.
I'll take poetic over generic

"summer burned the fields lying fallow and unfurrowed"

Very strong opening line.
Would like to hear it,

Tony

Hi John,

I've been meaning to reply to this.
I've read it 3 times now.
Very diferent from things I do, but definately enjoyed the read.
It's pretty serious.

Calvin

I bet you can make this sing, poem or not. I really like this and though it is a bit poetic, I've heard your folksy style and I KNOW this has got to be beautiful, Johnjohn!!

{{{BSH!}}}
Tinkapooh

Hmmmm ... Tink took the words right out of my mouth, John! It definitely struck me as more poetic but this fits right in with your style and I know you can sing this one with no problems, my friend! I look forward to the day we'll meet again and I'll get to hear some of your great songs!

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Mary Lou

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/mlsudkampmusic.htm

This simple little ditty seems to have struck a chord.

Randy, Tampa, Fast Eddie, Kaley, Tony, Cal, Tink, Mary Lou... Thanks for looking. Yeah this is probably a tad poetic but it does work to music so lets call it a poemus

It's very easy to put a tune to this. Kind of lends itself to a Leonard Cohen sort of tune. You can vary the third verse and make it a bridge. (Bridges don't have to be short.)

It's really vague. About the only thing I can think of is that the singer has gone through a period lacking in creativity, productivity, or spiritual growth but perhaps realizes that there is still hope for the future. Happy New Year!

Sis

PS: Or maybe the singer is just really talking about having that garden again.

[This message has been edited by AKA JeanB (edited 01-11-2005).]

John:
Terrific piece. The second half of the first verse uses “wait” twice. Same thing in the third verse, with the same word. Maybe that was intentional. Sounded almost repetitious.
You dug deep for this one, and I appreciate that you didn’t shallow to the lowest common…
I think the title is perfect.
Hope you don’t stick this one in a drawer.

Darby