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OF course this has all got me thinking,again.
I know how wonderful music is and how frustrating it is as well.
I don't mind the frustrations we face when working on it, it's usually when trying to do something with it, or not being able to afford to work on it that kills us.

My biggest problem is myself of course, but also having the song-writing mentality of 3 different kinds of people.
1- The shopping songwriter 2- The Artist 3 - One oF the writing musicians in The Band

A friend I'm working with is trying to develop a young songwriter, we both are helping her. She is very talented at 14 years old, she has a beautiful song about her sister that anyone would like.

Hence - She being The Artist can write personal songs about her sister,
She can use kind of obscure thougts and very little songwriting book rules.
She is a songwriter, but she couldn't sell it to Faith Hill and the hundreds like Faith.
But she can still have a HIT with it...

One Of The Band I always wanted this position the most!
Say I'm just the bass player in a pop/rock band.. I have to write bass parts for the song. I May actually get SONGWRITING royalties for just doing that,
However I would never settle for that, and I may write a verse to one song or a chorus to another, or a bridge or whatever.... I'm a songwriter right? ButI can't get my song cut by Carrie Underwood...
But I can still have a HIT........

The Lone Songwriter I know this route all to well also and it is the loneliest saddest, hardest one of all.
Main reason is it goes on far longer than the other 2 dream situations.
The other two half limits in the music industry, once you reach a certain age, you ain't getting no deal! So The Band and the Artist have a smaller window.

But the songwriter can be any age, as long as they dont give ther age away in there songs. I haven't faced that problem yet, thank goodness.
Problem is this writer can't get there songs to BANDS or ARTIST Singer/songwriters.
The young people who they need to getting there songs cut by.
This writer has to write Teeny teeny pop (Britany) or Country songs (Faith Hill) And tha's totally cool and great...
But they are being forced to write a certain way if they want to ever have a chance at a career or making any real money.

Lesson is: You better just love what your doing

Hi Nathan,

Thanks for posting these.
Good stuff here for sure, Of course I would love to hear as you imagined them fitting the track. These lyrics remined me of Ted's slightly in that they were a bit more obscure and less personal. I liked the chorus the best. I love vague songs the most but I still like something that will touch somone personally then keep it vague as well.
This one lacks noticable feelings.

Good Job & thanks for contributing this.

Hi Derek

It's getting better all the time, and now more thorough as well.
You are certainly leading the pack for most persistent and determined, qualities
you can't buy or be taught in school

Hi Sub,

Here is the extended version, I gotta go to work...It'll give you an idea of what I mean......talk about pulling someone out into the daylight.. ....I think I've rushed the 1st verse a bit but a real singer would be able to fix it...such as yerself...LOL

I almost forgot this.....http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6349151
Down Easy

You carved your name on my heart
like an autograph
left ink on my skin
now fadin fast
said you need your time and space
just to clear your head
You deserve better
than what your gettin

No disillusions here with two sets of expectations
no excuses with this save all the accusations

I want to
I need to
Let you
Down Easy
You say you
Love me
Well I'll stay in touch
Now Let me
Let you
Down Easy
This is hard for me
Let me Let you
Down easy
Down easy



I'm off to make the donuts...:)
I'll catch you guys later tonight....

OK...the worst that happens is it doesn't fit...again with a connection of emotion and a little hard edge...if you like it and it is close edit it to the right feel...the chorus sings well for me and not knowing the verse melody I'm guessing with as much Feel as I can...thanks Mike


Flash of light


(Verse)
It struck about
A quarter to four
That afternoon
With a powerful roar
And I could see
Heaven start to fall
Without you here
I’m feeling nothing at all

(verse)
I asked you to watch
And to take care
The sparks and hot flash
Smothered my prayer
But with thunder
All around it’s
Hard to hear
I looked for you
But couldn’t get near

(chorus)
Flash of light
Heavy with fear
The thunder pounding
All around
Now the ground's burned
And turned brown


In a spark
I lost my heart
Ohhh on a hill
In a flash of light


(verse)
And when I bring myself
To think about you
Or when I need help
Chasing away my blues
I know you will be
Waiting at heavens door
Then I will not worry
Or hurt anymore

(chorus)
Flash of light
Heavy with fear
The thunder pounding
All around
Now the ground's burned
And turned brown


In a spark
I lost my heart
Ohhh on a hill
In a flash of light



(bridge)
You carved your name
Into my heart
Like an autograph
Without shame or fame

(chorus)
Flash of light
Heavy with fear
The thunder pounding
All around
Now the ground's burned
And turned brown


In a spark
I lost my heart
Ohhh on a hill
In a flash of light




© 2008 Ted Bryson

Hiya! My turn to join the party.
Y'all are too dead serious.
I had a little fun.

Now - before you listen - everyone here knows I am no Nancy Wilson.
Just pretend she's doing this and not me. ...I gave it a shot. But ...yeah.

Second - I haven't got a chance at winning against the other great stuff here, so I went for humor instead. Smile!! You're supposed to laugh - if not, I failed!

I'm a little out of the pocket on the verse but I ran out of time this afternoon to fix it. This was a quick sing-into-the-mic and see what happens, 2-3 takes. Oh - and I haven't listened to all the others yet - just a piece here and there - so I hope I'm not accidentally copying any melodies.

Bonus points if you figure out the backing vocal line at the end.
Linda

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6349972

You Can't Take Me Home
by Linda Adams (c) 2008

Oh there's a word for what you do
It's not nice so I won't repeat it
I've given you more than a clue
I told you to beat it

Oh I don't know what else I can do
Cuz I've told you

I don't want you over
I don't want you calling on the phone
Tell you I
I leave guys like you alone

I don't need your flowers
I don't want your letters
I don't want you callin

I don't need you
I don't want you
I'll never love you
And you can't take me home

I'm calling 911
Cop is here
He's got his gun
He's taking you away
Where I hope you can stay
For a long long time and I tell you
That I don't think I'll mind
At all

I don't need your flowers
I don't want your letters
I don't want you callin

I don't need you
I don't want you
I'll never love you
And you can't take me home

Now I'll listen to the others. Fun! Thanks for this, Mike, it was a fun afternoon.
Linda

EDIT: Got to listen! Everybody's version sounds so good. It's interesting to hear how the same chord changes and arrangement inspire so many different thoughts!

I caught this from Sub: "As for the song I should put up a verse as well so you can hear the songs style flow. It has an angry kinda verse feel with angst, and the chorus gets more settling and nicer, moody more pretty in a way." Had to laugh - I just read that NOW, but <ahem> I do think I nailed that in my version. <ahem, ahem, ahem> LOL!!

Derek - you're sounding GOOD! Bob, I always love to hear you sing. Kathy, great job! I loved the "take 28." I do that too sometimes. ...I missed naming a few of you, but I think I listened to & read all the entries. TONS of creativity going on!

Sub... thanks for letting me "be in the band" for a day, even if I'm the resident goofball.

I hope you have more of these lying around, I had a blast!

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Go Derek!! Woot woot!

Linda

Hi Kathy,

Your a slick one you are you are

For an instant at the top I thought you were gonna sing my orignal melody idea
to that lyric concept without ever hearing me lol... Almost! for a second.

I think it;s getting better ceratinly in a more thorough way. I like dyour voice in the upper range in the chorus, but I still like that mellow soft seductive sound of the lower register as well, in I want to, I need to..... Oh also I'm glad you like that suggestions on the lyrics enough to try it out...

The pre-chorus started out very cool sounding then lost its groove maye a ouch too long. Boy this is hard right?

Maybe the chorus can start in the low register and lift for the second half???

This is good work Kathy I'm having such a blast checking these out.

Overall the main thing would be better meter and pocket for the melodies.
Still a great chorus contender here and the title is 90% a definite unless someones lyrics make us think other wise.

Hi Ted

The verses are much much better, more emotional content.
The chorus is pretty much the same as it was and may be not enough.
I still can't find the perfect example but if you look at the lyric I had for it originally you can see the kind of meter I'm feeling. Kathy used the lines at the top of here versions....

"You carved your name in my heart like an autograph"

Or

"You carved my name in your heart like an autograph"

To switch the angle....

That will get attention and start to put curiosity in the listeners mind.

Hi Linda

That was wild girl... at first it had a Robert Plant like vibe to it, then it had a Freddie like vibe to it... all favorites of mine.

The absolute best part was this:
Cop is here
He's got his gun

This melody/phrasing is where the verses should have stayed, you got away with from this way too fast and started wailing in all different directions.

Some of the more elaborate ideas had potential but your pitch, pitch, pitch, I keep haunting you about in all posts When I stop caring about you I will say
GREAT vocals LInda take care!!! Untill then I will haunt you

You went clear out of the songs key However you also were thorough going from start to finish. And I know you were having fun and stated you were taking a light hearted approach.. but I still think you can focus more on the melody of the song
and be right up there in the game...

Great energy and spunk! you are welcome to jam with the band anytime!

Linda

Also wanted to say how impressed I am with you & everyone who has taken a shot at this..... So many songwriters but so few taking a shot.

Great!

Thanks Sub!!
Haunt me all you want! I can take it.
Pitch haunts me too.
I've learned one thing - my pitch stabilizes once I know the tune really well. Which ain't gonna happen the first 3 times I sing something. LOL! But I appreciate you making it all the way through anyway. I'll work on it more, esp if I'm "up there in the game!" This is about 2-3 hours' work which isn't much yet. (And whatever it takes... voice lessons, practice, miracles... I'll fix my pitch someday or bust.) It was fun to sing like this - just goofing off. [Tell ya, if you ever need a Nancy Wilson sing-alike though, go listen to Erisa Rei. WOW.]

Anyway, I'll take that "Freddie-like vibe" from you and just drool over that compliment for a loooooooooong time... you made my day! Maybe my week! My year!

Linda

And yeah, it's weird more people aren't jumping on this!
Maybe they're all busy with their own stuff??
Too bad for them, less competition for the rest of us! hehe

Linda

Cool Linda like I said I love your attittude and spirit.
I already laid down a bass line on one of Erisa's songs. I also almost got her to sing one of mine but it didn't work out time wise.

As for the pitch it has to become a natural thing, 80% in tune on the first take and on the first time trying a song. The better you get the closer you can be off and get away with it
It's like a drummer that can't keep time, it has to be there, no timing no drummer.

Work on subtle things mostly that will be a big help. Then start to stretch out.

I left my entry under my default country and country general catagories and it's now #6 in country general and #31 in country - so regardless what you want to ultimately pursue Sub, I'm thinking this is a song I'd like to pitch. Bet you didn't know you were writing a country song.

I'm also wondering if you've heard my longer version as it was one of the first ones posted. I'm also getting concerned about having my melody or parts of my melody lifted by others. Maybe I'm hearing things.

Paranoid Pete

Hi Paranoid Pete, I hadn't heard yours before I did mine, so if I lifted I can only blame some strange sort of ESP. In any case, if so, I'm happy to change it. Good job on your stats!

Hey Mike - can you TEACH a bad drummer?
Which reminds me you didn't pick on my timing this time... improving?
Also wanted to say there's no way I could pull up a "Robert Plant" or "Freddie" vibe IF IT WASN'T IN THE BACKING TRACK to start with. Did ya know you had Led Zep & Queen in you?
(Yeah, you're good, believe it!)

Linda

Pete, I saw this coming a mile away. I think it will be inevitable to find some overlap between ideas. How often have you been given a chord progression in the same key, with 4-5 total chords...and had over a dozen people writing a melody for it? Although some will be very different, I think MOST will have similar elements. Couple that with the fact that we're all listening to each other's contributions...NOW you've got some similarities.

I've never done something like this, but when I got on board, I decided to be prepared for similarities. It's not that there is any stealing going on, it's just a byproduct of the limitations in this very focused exercise.

That said, wait till you hear my new song, "Gigantic"!

I'm writing "Enormous" - it's nothing like Pete's, though

chorus
It's so Enormous, so Amazing, Like the boat that hit an iceberg
I thinkin' I'm losing control (of that thing in my chest)
'Cause its so Enormous, way over climatic
Don't stick your head in the sand (are you blind)
Sometimes I wish that I could
Stop Global Warming and Rush Limbaugh -- make it stop

Kevin

Hey Pete,

I thought in a co-write situation there had to be a meeting of the minds before there was an agreement on the final product.

I went back and read the rules(original post). I still think this is open till March 19th, which anyone can still walk in with a killer hook that matches perfectly. I also agree with Mark. We are going to have some similarities...so don't be a Paranoid Pete be a Positive Pete....

Now that's funny. Way funny! Enormously funny.

I know you mentioned that before but I think it has more to do with listening to each others posts. It's very possible for many songs to be written to the same tracks and have them all be very different. There is also a tendency to think - hey Sub liked that - I'm going to put it in my song - and partly it comes from Sub kind of making up the rules as we go. For me at some point I had to say okay this is what I am writing - for better or worse - and I'm not going to flap around in the wind any more. Nuff said.

Pete

I sure wish I had not been so busy with my home improvement projects!!!!! Darn it! Is there going to be a next time?

Brenda,

I think the cut-off date for chorus/hook selection is March 19th. There's still time to jump in!

Kevin

Well, thank you Kevin! I'll see if I can come up with something ENTIRELY different from everyone else.

Your right Pete...but as I see it SUB is leading the pack and is looking for something specific and has even included his own lyric...if we were staff writers and the boss said I need__________then thats what the staff would write to...so that being said I'm using the opening lines that have been laid out as a sort of starting point and going from there...

It is not that big of a deal...I look at this as an employer saying to a creative staff.."This is what I want.Here is the outline. Now go out and do what I pay you for."...All of it will wash out in the end if you believe Sub will be fair...And we must or we wouldn't be working for him...

So...with that... here is another shot using some of the stuff I already submitted and some of the stuff he said he likes or wants...


You carved your name

(v)
You carved your name onto my heart
Like an autograph
Without fame or shame
And I stared to laugh

(v)
Your friends said you were worth a shot
The night when we met
I thought you were
Can you wait for one more set

(Pre chorus)
Hey girl,
I’ve been looking
For you
Oh so long


(chorus)
Ah don’t
Think twice
We’ll go
To paradise
Where we’ll
Share our life
In a higher place

(v)
Came to see you on a weekend night
My heart in hand
Come out with me you’ll see
I’m just one of the boys in the band

(Pre chorus)
Hey girl,
I’ve been looking
For you
Oh so long


(chorus)
Ah don’t
Think twice
We’ll go
To paradise
Where we’ll
Share our life
In a higher place

(bridge)

All of my life has been a gamble
I might get rich or live in shambles
But I am sure to roam and ramble
Can you handle this life
Of staying out all night
Tell me girl will it be alright

(Pre chorus)
Hey girl,
I’ve been looking
For you
Oh so long


(chorus)
Ah don’t
Think twice
We’ll go
To paradise
Where we’ll
Share our life
In a higher place


Pre chorus)
Hey girl,
I’ve been looking
For you
Oh so long


(chorus)
Ah don’t
Think twice
We’ll go
To paradise
Where we’ll
Share our life
In a higher place

Copyright 2008 Ted Bryson

Hi Pete,

No real need to worry...

It's not an easy thing what were are trying here, anything that's new or different is gonna have snags. Like when I was putting up instructional type video's someone is gonna borrow something either intentionally or unintentionally. I was aware of that before I started out.

The Soundclick thing Two things I know for sure this is No Country song.
And Soundclick Ratings mean absolutely nothing at all, never have.
Besides this mistake in genre entry is another perfect example of that...

The music track is already copyrighted but If I find the right match for this I will re-asses the copyright to include new writers.

Like I said this is a new concept here and we have to think as we go and make suggestions like, this
1- After I download your entry from Soundclick I'll let you know and you should disable it from "Download" function.

2- DON'T put the unfinished song idea in any contest, or start performing it at gigs.

3- On these boards we do seem to be pretty isolated as far as contributions.. say 2 people feel like combing efforts that may be okay. I even stated I may take 2 peoples ideas and open the song to a 3 way collab.

*4- Anyone can do whatever they like with the lyrics [b]they come up with, However they can not do whatever with this music, If you are not the winner (so to speak) or I don't contact you and say I want to use your melodies or lyrics, then you are not a collaborater on this song. No pitching a song with this music.
[/b]
We have to have some trust of course just like everyone has everyday when they post an mp3 or a working lyric. So I would expect everyone to be thinking along the same lines and respect each other fully, like we always do. It didn't even occur to me that I would have to state that #4 rule... silly me lol...

Mark & Kathy both have a good grip on the situation.

Mark is right about the similarities as well... You know I had & have melodies
for this in my head from the day I started it. I already heard many people cross very close to what I had. That's what happens all the time with pretty much any song
and any progression.

Pete - your doing VERY well with your submission in my eyes, as is you are in the top three. Some of your melodies are what's being considered none of the lyrics. However if your concerned about anything you can pull out at anytime, this is not a big contract or deal we are into.

If your concerned Pull it off Soundclick for starters lol

Basically I'm trying to accomplish a few things at once while doing this.
One big one is finding a collaborator or two for my song. If I don't I move along to another song or another kind of post. If 50 people try to write something to this
it's not 50 peoples's song to shop with whatever lyrics they come with. It's not a gift.
Even if we find the right match here, I'm gonna be editing and working on those all the way till the end...

Also we are trying to learn some things, have some fun, try new things and make a great final product all at the same time. lets see how it goes

Perfect!
Thank You Mark!

Hi Pete

I understand waht you mean, and yes me making it up as I go (sorry Scott for borrowing that) is part of the confusion. This is mainly because I took on a lot. Not just a contest and a collab possiblity but also the learning & exercise process.
If I don't come in and offer suggestions and opinions on my own song how off the
course are some people gonna go? Way off!

Yes you have to stay "Stop" at some point.... and if not that point is March 19th

I may only use one persons' chorus melody and write all these lyrics myself who knows? No one has even made me think twice about not using my opening lines so far..
That's part of the challenge... I want you to make me want you in this song...

* Ted like Mark as really nailed the concept here.... I'll qote him below.

Hi Cathy,

Well maybe I totally misunderstand what we are doing and have to admit it is on some points unclear in my mind. But we were asked to write a melody with or without words to Sub's tracks. And Sub was going to as the prize record the one he likes best. And yes open to March 19th.
As I understand it we are all co-writing with Sub as he is "coaching" us along, but we are writing our own separate songs, not writing all the same song.(unless we agree to at some point)
In my mind there is no "killer hook that matches perfectly" we are all writing killer hooks and they all match perfectly to some degree or another. It's just a matter of what type of song Sub wants to produce. He could even produce 2 or 3 different pitchable songs using basically the same backing track.
But everything we write in the way of lyrics and melodies is our own intellectual property that is not negated by having written it in this context as I understand copyright.
So I will endeavor to be Positive Pete, but I don't want to be Pollyanna Pete either.

Just Plain Pete

That's an interesting point that brings up a question that I admittedly don't have the answer to...

If the melody we write happened only because of the music Sub posted, is that melody really ours? Or is it partly Sub's by default because it would never have been written if not for his music?

I honestly don't know the answer.

Ted- PERFECT explaination.. Thank you Thank you

Think of it like a Taxi Submission....

Think of it as we are a label or Production Co. And we are staff writers....

Think Of it Like American Idol - do they not make comments to the the contestants
as they go along, to try to help the singer and to reach there own goal....

Great & pro way to look at it Ted... and I'm glad I wasn't the nasty jerk Boss type Big lol...

On your latest lyric submission, way way better, it's tighter at the top and slips away as the song progresses especailly in the verses.

I would suggest trying to write only one or two verses and a chorus...
or one killer verse, one killer pre-chorus one killer chorus instead of writing the whole song...

Thanks Ted you are quite the sport as well.... pro attitude!

no I don't want anyone to be a Pollyanna ....

What Sub is trying to do is find lyrics and a melody for his already copyrighted song....We have no rights to that song...but we do have the option to keep our melody and our words.... Also I think everyone understands Sub is perfectly capable of creating his own melody and lyrics. But this gives me the ability to write to a song I don't know so I have no preconcieved ideas in my head. I also get a whole different thought process that I can use on a different project.

What Sub is doing is standard...co writers walk in with pieces of songs or whole songs and arelooking for lyrics. Professionals give co write credit after the meeting of the minds....I have had it where I worked with someone on lyrics and some of the melody....unfortunately it didn't work out...I had to take all my toys and go home.... ...and leave the awesome song behind...thats just part of writing music.

And yes we all are writing awesome hooks and melodys but, there is going to be one that fits in the pocket (as Sub says) and fits the groove, the vibe, synergy I guess, honestly, I know it when the hairs on my arm rise up...Its just there...
Sub will know what he is looking for, he will feel it.

I don't believe it is customary in the industry to use the same backing tracks on different songs....I could be wrong but I've never heard of that...I think that can get dicey.

So maybe you could look at this as writing some awesome lyrics and melody that may need another song...it works out, trust me..

Ok Plain Pete lets get writing...we have till the 19th to find the hair raising melody and hook for this awesome tune.

Okay

I'm thinking as I thought I might have to, but hoped not

I should have made it clear in The Rules it's like a work for hire just like when i come up with all the musical parts and riffs and such to you guys demo's.. It's a work for hire... I dont ever use the form because I would never pull any nonsense on another songwriter, but If someone requests it I got it here.

Try to think about it like this... you come over to my home to try to write a song with me. I have the whole song basically layed out musically, with certain hooks and such already in the music... Meaning I'm not just striking a G chord holding it four 4 beats then striking a C chord holding it for 4 beats then striking a Em chord etc...etc... ya all know what I mean right?

My music is thorough, the beats grooves riffs, underlying guitar notes are spelling out phrases as they are in this song,,, why do you think we are crossing over each others melodies and phrases slightly? By having ESP?

This song already sounds like a lead singer from some band is gonna just spit out the vocals any second, it sounds like we have the vocals muted on the mixing board.

Okay so now you got the picture, so you come over any we jam on it, some stuff worked some didn't we never really settled on anything definite. I am petty much lending the final word as what's a keeper since there is nothing to work on without me initiating the song You leave and because we are both busy we never ever get together again.....

Now I'm not gonna use your input from that day and just put it in my song & you are not gonna take my music and do what you want with it. See how normal that all was?


When in doubt I don't use the Plus system I use the Minus sysytem
Instead of what looking at how much someone contributed I take it away and see what's left.

Ohhhhh, different...ok.

Hi,

I was writing the post at the same time as you Kathy..

No you are also correct, same principle. Your right on!

cool....just different words....LOL

Kathy

I think most songwriters who have collaborated or have spent time in bands have the built in general understanding of the written & unwritten rules we have. Just like any other profession really.

The thing that struck me about what Pete said was:
"so regardless what you want to ultimately pursue Sub, I'm thinking this is a song I'd like to pitch. Bet you didn't know you were writing a country song."

That approach will get you few co-writes with anyone, even if nothing was definite and some could be taken as humerous like (you were writing a country song)

"regardless of what I want to pursue" ? sounds like regardless of what i want to do...

Okay thanks for including me.

I understand that....I wasn't sure how to take it myself. Thats why clarity was needed and you did that....

I guess one way to look at this is maybe this should happen more often...(hint...nahhh)LOL...more for the sake of writers that have no experience co writing....I think as a student of music its very important to learn the so called "correct" way the first time around...I have been lucky...the group with Iggy and others from JPF/NSAI go out of there way to take the high road. So I learned it right away. Definately makes a difference as you are trying to make your way.

I think you've cleaned up the spill in aisle #5....

Did your buddy listen and give his thoughts....

Hey Sub,

I'm going fast as I can and falling behind in answering the posts - must have opened a can of worms.

I mentioned the Soundclick thing 1. Because I thought it was FUNNY that it was doing well in that category and 2. to find out if you had heard my current version as I was thinking you may have missed it.

I am open to collaboration, I just want to have an agreement going in as to what and how I would be collaborating.

I had no thoughts of using your tracks without permission. I'm sensitive to these type of issues as probably most of us are. What I was trying to say and this probably is open to interpretation is that even if you choose to use nothing of mine in your end project (which I hope is not the case), I feel I have created a pitchable song,(sans your tracks) but I am still a little confused on how you interpret that. If you don't believe in yourself and value your own work then no one else will. And I'm not trying to be a dick and I want to be in the contest and would love to work on the final project.

I suppose I'm no different from you in that I want to respect others work, but I also want to have mine respected. Gonna leave it there.

I hope so as I don't want to offend anyone. I like Pete alot and I believe his intentions and thoughts are pure and good.

Kathy thank you & also the others for helping figuer this stuff out and explaining things.

I have to make things clearer I'm bad with that as I have stated from day one here
I am 90% emotion in the way i act in the way i speak and in the way i behave.

Just ask John Daubert or Iggy who have spend the day with me...

On another note about the similarities and lyric, and melodies etc....
I have an oustanding musical memory and also I'm very aware of all these things.
I know who submitted what first and who borrowd what from who slightly whether they know it or not... So need to worry about who did what. I'm on it....

Besides I got my crew here to smack a few people around and keep everything Jake! Meaning we are watching out for each other and will remind ourselves of certain points, keeping all in line.

I was gonna wait till i have all the submissions then run them all past my buddy.
Maybe one other person as well....

I also want to chime in to say Pete's a great guy...almost scored me an excellent Lyle guitar (I've been kicking myself ever since...that one was rock solid), and he collaborates a lot.

But I still wonder about his "legal" point. Does he own his own melody and lyric in this context? (The context being "create a melody and lyric based on my music...) If he went out and recorded a new song with his melody and lyric...wouldn't he still have your backing chord progression?...

Seems to me that Sub can't be cut out of the equation.

IDK how you are keeping up with all this...it is a lot of work for you...especially with bruised egos...but if I get you right and we don't take it to seriously it should be fun...I have already written more stuff for this post than I have in a while...some of it I can keep to use later...or not...but writing to what someone wants is a task and a challenge of co-writing...why didn't some start a thread like this long ago...it really helps bring out the writer in all of us...took your advice and kept this a smaller contribution...


(v)
I carved your name onto my heart
Like an autograph
Without the fame
And I started to laugh

(v)
To wash away the pain
Y.M.E read your initial
Blue black and reddened ink
Wish I had used a stencil

(pre ch)
You’re my ----this works good on the dunt dunt dunt section
Everything in the world
You’re my
Everything in a girl

Sub,

I'm just trying to listen to what you, the boss, is saying and be a good assignment writer (which I would love by the way...ha)...your opening lines, Kathy's hook...both frontrunners one would have to assume...ha...I'll sing it later when I get home...

Let Me Down Easy

you carved your name on my heart like an autograph
you stuck my name on your skin but the ink fades fast

It's like I'm spilling out onto the floor
crashed and burning, should have known the score

so this is the end of our feast
the feeding off each other like a beast
innocence lost in a dark room
movin' on, the lust of love has been consumed

like a stone is crushed to dust
there is nothing left of us
so Let Me Down Easy________

Your look and vibe sucked me in, and held me hostage
emptied out and used up, I'm nothing more than wreckage

It's like I'm spilling out onto the floor
crashed and burning, should have known the score

so this is the end of our feast
the feeding off each other like a beast
innocence lost in a dark room
movin' on, the lust of love has been consumed

like a stone is crushed to dust
there is nothing left of us
so Let Me Down Easy________

Mike Caro/Kathy Bampfield/Moker Jarrett

Moker I like that....I like the beast line...a little naughty a little nice....hmmmmmmm....gotta go rewrite.....LOL
[size:8pt]( p.s. I won't use the line but something like it...:)...)[/size]

Well, I've been playing around in an entirely different direction. I'll record it tomorrow morning...trouble is I feel a cold coming on---the throat's tightening and the nose is starting to run---so I might lose the race against time. Just in case I have no voice tomorrow, here are the lyrics I've been working on:

Sweet Stranger

How did you find this place, sweet stranger?
Were you tempted by the face of danger?

You could try to hide your passion, but it shows
And you could walk away, but the moment comes and goes

So run with me now, sweet stranger
(It's gonna be all right)
Take my hand and take a chance on love
(If only for the night)
I'd give my life to you right now
If you'll believe in me somehow
And run with me now, sweet stranger
(It's gonna be all right)

There's a tiger in your eyes, sweet stranger
Would you be surprised if I tamed her?

I know the reason why you came to me today
I can clearly see your tiger wants to play

So run with me now, sweet stranger
(It's gonna be all right)
Take my hand and take a chance on love
(If only for the night)
I'd give my life to you right now
If you'll believe in me somehow
And run with me now, sweet stranger
(It's gonna be all right)

Alternate chorus:
So run with me now, sweet stranger
(If only for the night)
So glad you came
Now tell me, what's your name?
(It's gonna be all right)
I'd give my life to you right now
If you'll believe in me somehow
And run with me now, sweet stranger
(If only for the night)

Hi Pete and others...

No problem I understand how you are thinking, but all anyone has to do now is read all the posts I have been putting up today to see how clear & simple it can be.

Yes the soundclick was funny, I only suggest not to let it cloud our judgment
Nothing about anything we have so far makes this a country song at all...

And with the levels of the mix, problems with pitch in vocals and the timing issues all over it... Yet Some how it gets voted to near the top fo the charts just more & more proof of what little meaning Soundclicks chart has to offer any of us. Soundclick is GREAT for hosting our files and giving us an easy nice page to work with as home base source, much like a website but more people visit it... That's it really. And FREE hosting!

I appreciate that you didn't intend to use the tracks without permission.

What I'm saying here overall and this is why I ONLY put up a chorus at first is:
I wanted to see who could come up with the best melody & pharses for a chorus.
Over all the time I have been here that has been one of the biggest problems I have seen and heard, people having the most trouble with... Hooks!!

You can pile all the lyrics and rules one on top of the other and toss them out the window, No Hooks No Hits and songs mean music, so your music better have some hooks.

The Collaboration part of this contest really comes after we decide if there is anyone or anything here that I'm gonna try to incorporate into a final product.

Right now it's like a workshop as well as a fun contest.

If you have any fear of the others taking your lyrical ideas or melodies pull out of the contest. That is why there are probably so few of us in it to begin with.
Yet hundreds of lyrics go on the borads everday unfinished and primed to be taken.
Go figure!

Pete - All those "Gigantic" lyrics are your 100% all your melodies are yours as well.

If this song is finished sometime and some things are slightly similar to you melody wise that would be normal because of the progressions and the UNDERLYING melody and phrases I have in the music already.

I can hear slight similarites in your submsission as that of Marks and he was the first one in...

As I said several people have crossed into somethings I had in my head and here on a cassette tape from 3 years ago.

So you will have all your own words and probably a chorus melody or some other section that might have a slight similarity melody to some of us or whatever this song is like when it's finished.

I would expect that, I would not expect it to have my tracks or a replica of my musical hooks, arrangements, grooves & chops.... being used.

I think we are on the same page. Only I would suggest new lyrics for your Country song

Hi Mark,

Good points, yes he owns is own lyric, yes he owns his own melody. He can go out and record a new song with his lyric and melody, it just should not sound anything like my song.

We all use the same chord progressions over & over & over. Howver there is so much to a song that gives it identity. Beats,riffs, arrangements, TEMPO feel
Then of course melody, phrasing, lyrics and Sound, production. STYLE.

We are only using Pete as an example (sorry Pete) this does NOT mean you, we are cool.. but lets say it's anybody.
If they take this and walk away and make there own song and it is obvious it is all based in my song. How is that gonna make that person look? Really bad, really desperate and well bad... lol.. Folks who would do that are usually pretenders who have to.

There are people on Copyright forms with me that own half the song we did 5 years ago that I started, They have not written one song or half a song since.
They know where it came from and I'm the same way.. I earned my half of other peoples ideas with hard work and by impressing the daylights out of them.
And making it so when they minused my contributions there song was gone!

Thanks Ted yes why didn't someone start a thread like this a long time ago?

I thought about it a few years ago, but wanted to establish a GREAT repore with folks here and a GREAT reputation. I have done both and my demo services sealed the deal for honesty and trust.

We are talking a lot but unlike many threads not that productive we are doing!

My video threads were basically a flop, very little responses. Sad as they showed so many things that involve our "musical side of the game" it's not even funny. That was a TON of work. This is a lot of work as well, but I think it could pay off, this is how cool new things get done. I think about all that Brian does and
Mike D and others as well. It's hard work and determination that gets things to happen.

I have visited the other songwriting forums, they are okay but do not have the magic of this forum. I can tell, I can feel it. I want to try things that make it clear. this is the place to be... An expierenced person whether they are a Moderator, a Star or not
should do something to help the people. I back up everything I say and I'm here to help. I have seen other forums were people do nothing, and think they know everything.

I'm very competitive, I will rip your heart out.. but will then give it back to you with mine included. And all without being mean!

Now if I can stop being the policeman and rules advisor and stop running for office lol... lets get back to song writing and this Work For Hire staff writer TAxi kinda Idol whacky Contest!!!

Also suggestions on these things are always welcome...