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JPF is Back
by John Lawrence Schick - 07/30/26 06:35 PM
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néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Revised again today, Wednesday...Thank you all!!..JohnJohn,GJ, Beth, Wy Wy, Huggin Stan, Heidi and the lay, layed laid folks on general forum...Geoff, Jeff, Nige, Mike DeFoote', Ray and Jack Although this story was written for children, “The Empty Nest” expresses the "pangs of letting go” many of us have felt in September when our kids have gone away to college. This story is an accompaniment to the song, “Empty Nest Feelings” from the CD, “Miss Willow’s Fence Row”. ©The Empty Nest, Written by Kaley Willow
Little Charlotte Chickadee woke with a start. She thought she'd heard one of her babies calling. She got up from her fine feathery bed, put on her fluffy slippers and looked around the big empty nest. "Oh dear, I must have been dreaming again," she chirped. Charlotte's heart felt very heavy. Though she saw her children at least once or twice a week, it just wasn't the same since they'd grown up and left the nest.
"I can sit here and chirp about it all day and feel sorry for myself, or I can do something special to feel better," she said.
As Charlotte Chickadee poured her favorite crunchy birdseed cereal into her little red bowl, she thought how nice it would be to hear the pitter patter of feet again. Before she could take that thought any further, she heard a cry come from somewhere in the Fence Row. "I wonder what that's all about." Charlotte quickly flew to the tip top of her tree. She looked up and down the fence row paths. She looked high to where the tree tops touched the sky. She looked down low to the overgrown brush and honeysuckle bushes. Finally, her keen eyes spied two tiny puffs of fur huddled together under the old spruce tree. "Oh my, they are just babies!"
Charlotte Chickadee swooped down to the ground and flapped her wings gently. "Excuse me, dear little ones, but why are you alone?"
”We were up on the big hill playing tag on the fallen tree limbs," the first fur puff baby began, pointing his little paw in the direction of Round Top Hill, "when all of a sudden Mama cried, ‘hide, children, hide!’ We ran to the tall grass and lay very still. A big hawk came down from the sky and tried to pick Mama up and carry her off, but Mama scurried under some brush.”
"The last thing we heard our Mama say," whispered the other baby, was "Run down to the fence row. You'll be safe there. I'll come back for you as soon as I can."
Little Charlotte Chickadee's heart grew two sizes bigger as she looked into the babies' eyes. She knew exactly what she had to do. "You may stay with me in my big nest until your Mama returns." And so they did.
Days went by and the fur puff babies began to look like young squirrels. Charlotte loved caring for the two youngsters, but she never gave up hope that one day Mama Squirrel would come back for them.
One evening as Charlotte was tucking them into bed, she heard a rustling sound just outside the nest. Suddenly, a very tired but happy face peeked in.
"My babies, my babies," Mama Squirrel cried, gently reaching out her paws and hugging her children the special way only Mama Squirrels know how to hug. "How I missed you!"
"We knew you'd come find us, Mama. We just knew you would! Did the big hawk hurt you, Mama?"
"I'll explain everything to you after we get home."
"The most important thing is we're all safe."
After thanking Charlotte Chickadee many times and promising to come visit, Mama Squirrel led her children down the tree to a new home at the edge of the Fence Row.
Although she missed the fur puffs, Charlotte was thankful that Mama Squirrel was safe and had returned for her children. And the empty nest? Well...Charlotte's nest never felt empty again! To this very day, Charlotte Chickadee opens her home to all little ones in the Fence Row who need a hug and a place to stay. Miss Willow's Fence Row CD......NEW! http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg2 Piano Music and Demos (Many Genres) http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=musicChildren's Songs http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=6469&content=musicAndy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg The Empty Nest (Revised Again) ©2008 Kaley Willow Little Charlotte Chickadee woke with a start. She thought she'd heard one of her babies calling. She got up from her fine feathery bed, put on her fluffy slippers and looked around the big empty nest. "Oh dear, I must have been dreaming again," she chirped. Charlotte's heart felt very heavy. Though she saw her children at least once or twice a week, it just wasn't the same since they'd grown up and left the nest. "I can sit here and chirp about it all day and feel sorry for myself, or I can do something to feel better," she said. As Charlotte Chickadee poured her favorite crunchy birdseed cereal into her little red bowl, she thought how nice it would be to hear the pitter patter of feet again. Before she could take that thought any further, she heard a cry come from somewhere in the Fence Row. "I wonder what that's all about." Charlotte quickly flew to the tip top of her tree. She looked up and down the fence row paths. She looked high to where the tree tops touched the sky. She looked down low to the overgrown brush and honeysuckle bushes. Finally, her keen eyes spied two tiny puffs of fur huddled together under the old spruce tree. "Oh my, they are just babies!" Charlotte Chickadee swooped down to the ground and flapped her wings gently. "Excuse me, dear little ones, but why are you alone?" We were up on the big hill playing tag on the fallen tree limbs," the first fur puff baby began, pointing his little paw in the direction of Round Top Hill, "when all of a sudden Mama cried, "hide, children, hide." We ran to the tall grass and LAY LAYED LAID ? ? ? very still. A big hawk came down from the sky and tried to pick Mama up and carry her off, but Mama scurried under some brush. (thank you Wy on that and the A too) "The last thing we heard our Mama say," whispered the other baby, was "Run down to the fence row. You'll be safe there. I'll come back for you as soon as I can." Little Charlotte Chickadee's heart grew two sizes bigger as she looked into the babies' eyes. She knew exactly what she had to do. "You may stay with me in my big nest until your Mama returns." And so they did. Days went by and the fur puff babies began to look like young squirrels. Charlotte loved caring for the two youngsters, but she never gave up hope that one day Mama Squirrel would come back for them. One evening as Charlotte was tucking them into bed, she heard a rustling sound just outside the nest. Suddenly, a very tired but happy face peeked in. "My babies, my babies," Mama Squirrel cried..gently reaching out her paws and hugging her children in the special way only Mama Squirrels know how to hug. "How I missed you!" "We knew you'd come find us, Mama. We just knew you would! Did the big hawk hurt you, Mama?" "I'll explain everything to you after we get home." (thanks Wy) "The most important thing is we're all safe." After thanking Charlotte Chickadee many times and promising to come visit, Mama Squirrel led her children down the tree to a new home at the edge of the Fence Row. Although she missed the fur puffs, Charlotte was thankful that Mama Squirrel was safe and had returned for her children. And the empty nest? Well...Charlotte's nest never felt empty again! To this very day, Charlotte Chickadee opens her home to all little ones in the Fence Row who need a hug and a place to stay. Empty Nest Feelings is Track # 6 http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg2 Piano Music and Demos (Many Genres) http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=musicChildren's Songs http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=6469&content=musicAndy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg ***************************************************************** A little rough around the edges...but is this any better content wise? thanks...to anyone who reads or wants to offer any suggestions... very best... Kaley
The Empty Nest (Revised)
©2008, Kaley Willow
Little Charlotte Chickadee woke with a start. She thought she'd heard one of her babies calling. She got up from her fine feathery bed, put on her fluffy slippers and looked around the big empty nest. "Oh dear, I must have been dreaming again," she chirped. Charlotte's heart felt very heavy. Though she saw her children at least once or twice a week, it just wasn't the same since they'd grown up and left the nest.
"I can sit here and chirp about it all day and feel sorry for myself, or I can do something to feel better", she said determinedly.
As Charlotte Chickadee poured her favorite crunchy birdseed cereal into her little red bowl, she thought how nice it would be to hear the pitter patter of feet again. Before she could take that thought any further, she heard a cry come from somewhere in the Fence Row. "I wonder what that's all about." Charlotte quickly flew to the tip top of her tree. She looked up and down the fence row paths. She looked high to where the tree tops touched the sky. She looked down low to the overgrown brush and honeysuckle bushes. Finally, her keen eyes spied two tiny puffs of fur huddled together under the old spruce tree. "Oh my, they are just babies."
Charlotte Chickadee swooped down to the ground and flapped her wings gently. "Excuse me, dear little ones, but why are you alone?"
"We were up on Round Top Hill playing tag on the fallen tree limbs," the first fur puff baby began, "when all of the sudden
Mama (yelled??) hide, children, hide. We ran to the tall grass and (lay??) very still. A big hawk came down from the sky and tried to pick Mama up and carry her off, but Mama ran away as fast as she could."
"The last thing we heard Mama say," whispered the other baby was "run down to the fence row. You'll be safe there. I'll come back for you as soon as I can."
Little Charlotte Chickadee's heart grew two sizes bigger as she looked into the babies' eyes. She knew exactly what she had to do. "You may stay with me in my big nest until your Mama returns." And so they did.
Days went by and the fur puff babies began looking like young squirrels. Charlotte loved them as if they were her very own...but she never gave up hope that one day Mama Squirrel would come back for them.
One evening as Charlotte was tucking them into bed, she heard a rustling sound just outside the nest. Suddenly, a very tired but happy face peeked in.
"My babies, my babies," Mama Squirrel cried...gently reaching out her paws and hugging her children in the very special way only Mama Squirrels know how to hug. "How I missed you!"
"We knew you'd come find us, Mama...We just knew you would." "Did the big Hawk hurt you, Mama?"
"I'll explain everything to you, children, after we get home."
"The most important thing is we're all safe now"
After thanking Charlotte Chickadee many times and promising to
come visit, Mama Squirrel led her children down the tree to a new home at the edge of the fence row.
And...although she missed the fur puffs, Charlotte Chickadee knew it was best for the children to be with their Mama. And her empty nest? ..Well....Charlotte's nest never felt empty again! Because to this very day, Charlotte opens her home to all little ones in the Fence Row who need a hug and a place to stay. ****************************************************** The Empty Nest by Kaley Willow ©2006 All rights reserved Little Charlotte Chickadee woke with a start. She thought she'd heard one of her babies calling out to her. She got up from her fine feathery bed, put on her fluffy slippers and looked around the big empty nest. "Oh dear, I must have been dreaming again," she chirped. Charlotte's heart felt very heavy. Though she saw her children at least once or twice a week, it just wasn't the same since they'd grown up and left the nest. "I can sit here and chirp about it all day and feel sorry for myself, or I can do something to feel better", she said determinedly. As Charlotte Chickadee poured her favorite crunchy birdseed cereal into her little red bowl, she thought how nice it would be to hear the pitter patter of feet again. Before she could take that thought any further, she heard a cry come from somewhere in the Fence Row. "I wonder what that's all about." Charlotte quickly flew to the tip top of her tree. She looked up and down the fence row paths. She looked high to where the tree tops touched the sky. She looked down low to the overgrown brush and honeysuckle bushes. Finally, her keen eyes spied two tiny puffs of fur huddled together under the old spruce tree. "Oh my, they are just babies." Charlotte Chickadee swooped down to the ground and flapped her wings gently. "Excuse me, dear little ones, but why are you alone?" "Mommy didn't come back," said a tiny grey squirrel. "Mommy always came back before, but this time she didn't," sobbed the other baby squirrel. Little Charlotte Chickadee's heart grew two sizes bigger as she looked into the babies' eyes. She felt the babies had been left alone far too long and feared something had happened to their mother. "We''ll need to do something about this," Charlotte chirped ever so softly. "You may stay with me in my big nest." And that’s exactly what the babies did. Although the two puffs of fur had no feathered wings and didn't look a bit like her, Charlotte loved them as her own. When the squirrels grew big enough to take care of themselves, they left the nest in the Fence Row and built their own homes. And, Charlotte Chickadee's nest was never empty again. To this very day,Charlotte opens up her heart and home to all little ones in the Fence Row who need a hug and a place to stay. ©2006 Empty Nest Feelings is Track # 6 http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg2 Piano Music and Demos (Many Genres) http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=musicChildren's Songs http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=6469&content=musicAndy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg
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If this is for kids, the fact their mommy disappears without a trace or further mention could bother them...even though it is overshadowed by Charlotte's kindness...
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Yeah...your touching on the area....John V. (thanks for coming by)....I was more worried..about the fur puffs going with Charlotte so easily...w/o anything in the story that says...she's respected...has always looked out for little ones...etc.... I didn't want children to read...and then think...it was ok to go with strangers..... so somehow.. I need something there...that...clarifies that... and am open to suggestions for sure. I was hoping (but could be wrong) that because Disney has had orphaned animal stories.....I could get away with that part...(them being orphaned)...but I'll give that more thought and see if there's a way to soften that too!!!!.... Thanks my friend... best.... Kaley Miss Willow's Fence Row, and...Andy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=kaley+willow Piano Music and Demos (Many Genres) http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=musicChildren's Songs http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=6469&content=music
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Mmm that could be an issue Kales ... certainly related ... I guess the heart of it is that the issue of Mom is not raised at all anymore...not sure how to resolve it..
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Hi Kaley, Good point by John, as well as your own assessment. I agree. One way to address it might be to have the bird decide to just sit on a branch and watchover the squirrels and eventually have the squirrel parents (who had been frantically searching for them) return. You could include some extra story development by describing how the bird took some kind of action to protect the young squirrels from a threat that happened by. Or you could simply have the bird do a fly over and find the parents guiding them to the young squirrels. And you could change the beginning so that the young squirrels were alone because they wandered away to play and became lost ( a lesson for kids not to wander away from their parents). And the story could end with the bird being happy about her new and busy role watching out, from the tree tops, for any other residents of the row (young or old) who might need help. This could lead to more stories. Just a thought,(well, more than just one thought, I guess. I got a little carried away  ) GJ
Last edited by GJShades; 08/08/08 08:29 PM.
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Dear GJ...thank you so very much for stopping by!!..have not talked with you in quite awhile....and I very much appreciate your thoughts here. What wonderful ideas!!.... When I originally wrote this......I didn't have a problem with it.....only as I'm getting ready to compile the stories and put them in a book along with printed music.....did I start questioning it......... IF I decide to include this story in the book...it needs changed....You guys are right!!.... but...I need to have those fur puff babies...get into the nest...somehow...... The song version of this..... Empty Nest Feelings ...didn't go into the specifics...like the story did...and tis fine. (me thinks) but in the story somehow..I have to get Charlotte to be a foster Mom....even if it's for temporary stays...(i.e....like if the babies are there for a shorter amount of time...till their Mom gets better)...However...then..that goes against........ ...the Mom ...taking the babies back....after another animal has touched them........hmmmmmmmmm...However...what am I talking about?  . I have chickadees raising fur puffs...and that isn't going to happen..any more often ....than a 500 year flood so I guess in Miss Willow's Fence Row...the magical can happen...and Mama Squirrel can get her kids back. but I can also just not put in...the Story and leave the song...if I can't get it figured out in time....... which is a viable option.... let me think on your thoughts GJ......and see if there's any way to turn that around...and have the fur puffs use the nest... I do so appreciate yours and John's responses!!!... thanks ............ Kaley Miss Willow's Fence Row, and...Andy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=kaley+willow Piano Music and Demos (Many Genres) http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=musicChildren's Songs http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=6469&content=music
Last edited by Kaley Willow; 08/10/08 04:37 PM.
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a bump for help...or thoughts...suggestions.... just finished a rewrite.....on the story....in purple... original right below it... the corresponding song is # 6 on the Fence Row CD... Thanks y'all... Kaley Miss Willow's Fence Row, and...Andy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=kaley+willow
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HEY!! HOW COME NO MENTION OF THEIR VERY FRIENDLY NEIGHBORS THURSTON AND LOVEY DOVEY?? Will come back when I can.... Beth
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...sorry Beth...when I was writing these Fence Row stories.....I didn't know about Thurston and Lovey.......... now...there is a sequel CD......some DISTANT day in the future...(after the next 2) but...tis about another type of wee critter...and if I say one more word....I'll say one more word too much..... big hugs... all constructive criticism appreciated and welcomed!!... Kaley Miss Willow's Fence Row, and...Andy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=kaley+willow
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KALEY WILLOW!!!!! Purple prose? I wouldn;t have thought it of you!!! <G>
I dunno , your story looks good to me. You've had some good help already. If you want to stay away from the touching thing you could just have Charlotte tell them to run up to her nest, it's empty now and I'll set on the branch above and stand guard . I'll drop you down sone nuts and things now and then till your Momma comes for you. ( I think GJ suggested something like that).
(If all that is necessary) May work ok as is unless a teacher brought up the touching thing
Wy
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Hi B....purple is pretty  So you think this works...but like me...can see where G.J.'s thoughts are valid...and would work that way too....following on your suggestion too. I think I addressed John's thoughts with this revision...(i hope)...and the one that G.J. and I mentioned and reading your suggestion..about the touching...well see...I want Charlotte to be a foster Mom...in the future..and I think the song is suggesting that too. Being so much of the fence row songs and stories are fiction... (hope you're sitting down...in case that statement startled you too much  We have the families taking trips down south to the bayou, having meetings, weddings, picking berries, baking pies, etc etc etc..... I'm hoping it's not too far fetched...that Charlotte could be a Foster Mom to all kinds of babies. By rights, Pearla Possum shouldn't be conducting her business in the day time ....ya know? ..yet our songs...suggest she is... so....I'm arguing with myself...on this too ...and my mind isn't closed ...so am very open for thoughts and am still thinking. Thanks Wy... very much!! big hugs, Kaley Miss Willow's Fence Row, and...Andy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/found?allsearch=kaley+willow
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Hey KK,
If you want to go over it "fine toothedly', I'll give some thoughts but I didn't star in English.
I'd see a few things differently in this paragraph--JMO
___________
"We were up on Round Top Hill playing tag on the fallen tree limbs," the first fur puff baby began, "when all of (A?) sudden
Mama (SQUEALED?) hide, children, hide. We ran to the tall grass and (lay??)(LAY SEEMS RIGHT BUT NOT SURE) very still. A big hawk came down from the sky and tried to pick Mama up and carry her off, but Mama (SCURRIED UNDER SOME BRUSH?)
______________________
"I'll explain everything to you, after we get home (children).
"The most important thing is we're all safe now"
_____________
Seems like better "continuity" to me
Maybe you'll get some more thoughts, if it has to go in right away
Wy---Mud
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Hi B..... I'm just getting around to posting the newest version....((sorry)) slow and slower...today..it seems......but am going to look over your thoughts...!!!..oooooooh like that scurried under some brush...... I guess...the Hawk could still circle about (Untold in the story)....and be waiting for her.... which could explain for her long....unexplained...return to the children....and...maybe the hawk could have ended up hurting her a bit....(again...not told in the story....)..... Ok...will post here in a bit. I can submit yet tomorrow....THANK YOU..... I just can't remember about quotation marks...and the like... Let me review some of Linda's and others...writings... will be a bit... Thanks B... LOVE YOUR PICTURE...what gave you that idea still think a curmudgeon could give at least a half smile... though. best.. Kaley
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HiDee KaleyGal!
Here's what I see it could use/oughta have, JMO, natch!
Par.1: AOK
Par.2: Consider "...something SPECIAL to feel better," she said.
Par.3: AOK
Par 4: AOK
Par 5: Missin' (") Quote marks at beginning of Paragraph.
Then, as Babies Quote Mom, needs (') Single Quote Marks
'Hide children, hide!' (& I'd recommend an Exclamation Point on that Phrase, as-shown. ...under some brush(") needs double Quote Mark, at Paragraph's End.
Par 6: Tricky One. THINK this is EXACTLY Right: (...but it's confusing even me a bit): "The last thing we heard Mama say," whispered the other baby, "was 'Run down to the fence row. You'll be safe there. I'll come back for you as soon as I can.'"
All the Rest checks out Fine! Congrats on an engrossing & interesting Tale..which I know the Wee Ones'll love instantly & Us Grownups'll enjoy Reading to 'Em!
Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Ol' Stan
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Hey Kaley,
I just love your work. It has a power to it and I believe you will find a grand home for it.
My only suggestion is one that I tell all writers of children's stories or songs. That little suggestion is to be very aware of any words that the little ones may not understand so as not to cause a confusion in their heads with misunderstood words. My only concern on that note is in the first line where you say "woke with a start." I don't think kids would understand what that means and so they will be confused right off the bat.
Perhaps you could use words for that phrase to which they would more readily relate?
Other than that, it's sheer genius.
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Dear Heidi, Thank you very much for stopping by and reading.... and for the support and encouragement...! I thank you on the genius...I wish I could say I'd planned it....It came from a conversation with a gal friend and just knowing the critter families in the fence row..(by name, mind you .....and lots of empty nests about ok....You and I totally agree...tone, word suitability, consistency in usage ..is super important ... Know your intended audience whether it's a kids song.....or other. I will think about what you're saying,gal, as I know you're sharing wisdom here...I was hoping that first initial short strong sentence could be explained by tone of voice and expression of illustration. Probably not as well...though...as another challenging word. I do not mind having a couple challenging words in a piece...but I am not sure on this....So I thank you for pointing it out...and I'll give it more thought before I submit. I could say...she sat up straight...I don't want her jumping out of bed...because I want the mind illustrations to be her feathery bed...putting on her slippers...etc.... Ok...am thinking, Heidi...thank you for checking this out!!... Hugs, Kaley Empty Nest Feelings is Track # 6 Miss Willow's Fence Row http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg2 Piano Music and Demos (Many Genres) http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=musicChildren's Songs http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=6469&content=musicAndy & Friends CD http://cdbaby.com/cd/kwwg
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Hey Kaley,
It's a funny thing how so many cartoons and children's stories seem to not take into consideration the vocabulary of their target audience. Having five grandkids and another on the way, I always try out my children's material on them before I do a final production. I learn so much that way. If they begin to lose interest, I KNOW it is caused more by misunderstood words than by my creativity. So, I fix the words and try it again. When I hold their attention from beginning to end, then I know I've found the right presentation.
I really appreciate your insight into things and I absolutely love your creative mind!!!!!
I know you will have a hit on your hands.
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
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"The music industry is filled with risk takers, but not so filled with people who educate themselves before taking the leap." –Brian Austin Whitney
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