Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Finally got this recorded, and in the MP3 section. I know some of you have found it - and thanks. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7096589Talkin' Too Much great luck found you you liked me too first date grand time prime rib fine wine no sleep pure fun I've come Undone Now I’m talkin’ too much Feels like I can’t say enough There’s just something about your love That gets me talkin’ too much I’m yours you’re mine no doubt this time fine pair we are true love same star my ring good start two souls one heart But I’m talkin’ too much Seems like I can’t say enough There’s just something about your love Got me talkin’ too much It's a good thing There's no denyin' Can't Keep True love quiet But I’m talkin’ too much Seems like I can’t say enough There’s just something about your love Got me talkin’ too much Feels like I can’t say enough There is something about your love That gets me talkin’ too much Gets me talkin’ too much Talkin’ too much Talkin’ fixed per Wendy's suggestionfixed per Rob's suggestion
Last edited by Barry Crannell; 11/28/08 03:42 PM.
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,700 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,700 Likes: 2 |
Well, I've got no nits to pick with this at all.  I think it's charming, the verses (for want of a better word ) are clever and bright, and I love the way the 'singer' suddenly becomes effusive in the chorus. Nice one, Barry. Donna
Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.
Life is too important to take seriously.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
Hey Barry the Bane! This is clever Try this? Never Let me save some space in the universe for other words. "What Donna said". me 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
That's me - Mr. Effusive. If I keep trying to use less and less words, pretty soon I'll just have titles. Thanks Donna.
You're quite profuse yourself Beth. Thanks for checking in.
Barry
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,256
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,256 |
Hi Barry. I like the simplicity of this. Fewer words often make a much more powerful statement. The chorus provides a unique contrast to the verses when the singer ends up being a bit more wordy, thus your title. Neat effect.
With music added, I can envision the verses rolling along slow and deliberate, choosing words carefully, and then the chorus just blurting out this guy's true feelings, almost babbling to the point of incoherence. Should make a really cool song. Hope the experiment pays off.
Greg
Last edited by Greg C. Brown; 10/06/08 10:50 PM.
If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Thanks a lot Greg. I've got music in my head - just need to record.
I haven't forgotten about your song, btw. Just been a little busy these days.
Later,
Barry
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865 |
Very neat. I think I may try this too. It may help me in learnign to condense.
Great job btw. Very clever.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Thanks Caroline - it was a fun challenge. Good luck. :-)
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,177
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,177 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
Hey Bro,
Cool Stuff!
Few Words
Say Enough!
Well-Said
I Like!
"KUDOS"
& G'Bye!
Good Luck with This Little Jewel
Feels Like a Method That's Cool
We Should ALL write one Just Like This TOO
In The "Less Is MORE School!"
Real Enjoyable Write, Amigo!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
Well done! Completely understandable lyrics with so few words. I will be interested to see how the song sounds.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Thanks everybody! I really appreciate the kudos (as we all do).
I'll get this thing recorded and put it on the other forum when I can.
Cheers,
Barry
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4 |
Barry,
This is pretty clever. I like the structure of this. It's kind of like an E.E. Cummings poem, with a very visual presentation that makes you hear the music in your head. My only suggestion is to swap out a few words in the first two verses. You've used great three times and good once. Perhaps you had purposefully intended to use the repetition, but I would think if you were doing this, you would have carried that over to the next verse. Here's my .05 cents. I devalued my currency to reflect the current market value.
great luck
found you
you liked
me too
first date
grand time
prime rib
fine wine
no sleep
pure fun (double meaning here is it pure fun or unpure fun?)
I've got
someone
Of course, what do I know? Keep or sweep, as they say.
anyone lived in a pretty how town
with up so floating many bells down
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
GREAT suggestion Wendy - thanks!
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 439
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 439 |
Hey Barry - Really like this one as well. Cool concept, and well played. The only lines that trip me up after the latest rewrite are the last two: old souls warm hearts "Old souls" feels a little new agey to me (not that there's anything wrong with that ), and that doesn't seem to fit in a love song like this, MOO (My Opinion Only ). Plus there's no conceptual interplay between them either on another level (i.e. "warm" doesn't relate to "old," etc.). If you're buyin' what I'm sellin', then a possible rewrite could be: two souls one heart Fun one! Nice work. Looking forward to hearing it.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Rob - SOLD!! Thanks for that - there was something odd about that pairing.
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,558
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,558 |
hi Barry
I like it too
but I'm not coming up with
a clever rhyme response like so many do.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Clever 'nuff. Thanks Tom. :-)
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Finally recorded in the MP3 area.
Cheers,
Barry
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,806
Top 10 Poster
|
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,806 |
Hey Barry,
Delightful!!!
Hugs,
Flooz
They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you. Gallup 'n Dawg Music
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Heya Flooz!!!
Thanks a lot for having a listen! You are clearly too busy these days. Miss the chats. Very verbose aren't I?
bc
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,040
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,040 |
Barry, cool tune, nice work.Rhymeskeem is workin for me ,love the prosidy of the song.Has a Tom Petty flavor yet really Folky flow .The melody makes ya want to hear it over and over .Repetition is great! Nice work.S.Dee
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 852
Top 500 Poster
|
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 852 |
awesome concept here..well written and played..great job..couldn't find a spot to nit pick on..so just compliments are all you get hope you don't mind =)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
|
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210 |
I agree with the posters. No need to say more. Brilliant. Nice song. Great hook-- now, I am saying too much. ;-) Kimberlyinnc
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 399 |
Thanks a lot S.Dee, Brandon, Kimberlyinnc. I appreciate the comments - even just the positive ones brandon. :-)
Barry
"the older I get, the better I was"
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics129,176
Posts1,186,193
Members21,480
| |
Most Online236,505
Jul 1st, 2026
|
|
|
"Do not endeavor to be the smartest kid in a dumb class. Instead, you are better off being the dumbest kid in the smartest class, where you will be challenged and you will learn. If you aren't growing, you are dying." -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
