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Song #6 in my CD project!

MP3:
http://www.jimofferman.net/stream/start-here/up-to-you.mp3

Lyrics:
http://www.jimofferman.net/club/start-here/up-to-you

What do you all think?

Thanks!
Jim.

Great "soundscape" you build on in the first minute and then "boom", it comes together at the chorus. ... and then it starts all over again. Really well produced and professional sounding song.

I think the lead vocals need more "brightness" and punch. I don't know how to do that (or how to explain it better), but right now I think the vocals might be a little hanging back too much. I don't know if that "breathy" approach in the verses is the best approach. However, if this song is finished, then forget what I said -- it's fine as is!

Kevin

Thanks Kevin!

I kinda like the breathy vocals, but I'll make sure to check I'm not the only one who thinks that. This mix isn't final. This is just me pretending to know what I'm doing... I'm heading out to a real studio with a real engineer in June to re-mix the entire album, this song included.

Jim:

I really enjoy listening to your music. It's always very catchy and well produced. Some things I really enjoy about this song:

1. The way the song builds to the chorus and then pays off with a catchy chorus. Well done.
2. The production all around is very good. There are lots of interesting things going on but it doesn't sound cluttered at all. Plus, it helps build the song up to the release at the chorus.
3. The little guitar licks and riffs. Very tasteful.
4. I just took a little break to do a couple of things here and the chorus melody kept playing in my head the entire time. So your chorus melody is sticky.

It has been fun to see your project come together piece by piece.

Mark

Hi Jim,

This is well produced with great vocals, keys, drums, bass, whole package. There's no great hook; the major one, major two, major 4 thing in the chorus is something that's a bit overused, and the repetition of it makes for a little blandness, to me, where you want to blow me away--in the chorus...

...overall I'm a big fan of seventies kinda sounding stuff, and your " A " section is fun, " B " is okay, just I can see me getting tired off it, the production in the B is perfect though, and swells in all the appropriate places...

--Mike

Thanks Mark! Glad to hear you like it!

Thanks for the comments Mike! I guess you can't please everyone, all the time
Btw. do you know one chord progression in pop that isn't over used?

Jim,

My bad for not making explicit that I meant within the context of the song, those three chords in the chorus are used "over and over again"...not that THAT particular progression (I II IV) itself is used so much in "pop music", though I can see how might have gotten the wrong impression...and I DO like it, just can foresee that I might get tired of the repetition there...thought I'd clarify...

--Mike

Alright, I got what you meant now Mike... thanks for the clarification!

The "B" section is repeated quite a few times at the end, there's no denying that.

Hey Jim,

No nits from me on this one. Good song, great production. Very well done... I enjoyed listening.

Thanks Rob!

ps: Love the Southpark avatar! That show so rules!

Good one, Jim. Catchy and nicely produced. Kinda chorus that people will want to sing along to. Feels done to me!

Scott

Jim, good feel, musicianship for the rhythm section. Good piano chord accents. Good set up for the chorus. I always love the three tier way of verse, lift, chorus.

I also agree with Scott about the chorus, which works with the G, A, and holding C, (instead of what many a writer might have gone with, going to the D instead of the just holding the C). BUT, that is why I think it has a revolving feel to it, rather than a resolving one a D would have given. Love the way it is! Works great too with the melody notes for the C chord.

Your vocal rises nicely with the song.

John

Jim...I thought you were solid both musically And lyrically. Sometimes I don't think that in this genre....

best...
Kaley

P.S. I loved the driving forward feel.....(for lack of better terminology)

Chorus is very effective and well done. The song does not just sit there - it develops. Not an easy thing to do. This is a fine song and will be a good one on the cd.

Tom

Wow. Thanks y'all! Glad to hear you like it!

Of course, I once again had lots of help from Sub (drums), Pepijn (bass) and Ruben (guitars).

Hi

This is one of my favorites of yours Jim. And here''s why!
It has a GREAT "feel" and you sing this one with great passion & conviction.
I like the lyrics, and the dynamics,the changes and melodies.

It's catchy! It rocks but still has sentiment to it as well.

I'm really proud, flattered and honored to be on the CD. Look forward to what you do in the studio with it. I do like the mixes your posting, very good! Clean & clear!
Nice balance! IT's hard, very hard! to wear all these hats! Producing and engineering and mixing are all art forms and special! All are hard work!

Great work Jim keep it up!!!

Jim, this is a good song but wouldn't it work better if the song were directed to someone one you see was once like you and you're encouraging them to become braver in life, rather than claiming to have built a time machine and travelling back in time to visit your former self?

That seems a little silly to be honest and if he built a time machine he was obviously doing something very constructive with his life behind these walls, and if you tell him to stop doing that, he will never build the time machine and you will never be able to go back in time, and perhaps the time line would become so disrupted that you ended up becoming an alcholic bum on the streets of Amsterdamn and never became a singer-songwriter at all.

Aside from that, the song has a lot going for it, but I kind of agreed with what Mike Z said about the chorus, it's catchy, yes, but never quite comes out of first or second gear for me. In its structure it reminds me a little of the chorus of "About you now" by the Sugarbabes, and that chorus moves up and down the gears in a more fluidic fashion compared to this chours.

Anyway, like I said, it's a good song so good luck with it.


Lucian

Hi Jim,
Though I usually agree with Lucian and think he has significant insight and very helpfull suggestions (and I really like the Tele in his picture) I like the concept of this song.

Personally I have often dreamed of how I am going to look back at my current situation and what it took to improve it. You know solve a problem, achieve a dream, whatever.

So this song hits home with me. I like it. And the chours progression, though it has a retro feel to it, works nicely to my ear.

Good work,
Tom

@Mike: Thanks man! I'm pretty happy with the mixes myself. Mixing definitely feels less like voodoo now than it once did. Still, I'm no expert at it and, like you say, wearing all these hats is difficult. Fun, but difficult.

@Lucian: I totally agree, the time travel thing is a little silly. I like silly. Plus, how many times do you get to discuss grandfather paradoxes after hearing a song? Not often enough, I say!

I find it really interesting how people can ever seem to agree on what is catchy and what is not. Where Kaley feels a drive, you feel stuck in second gear. Why would that be?

@Tom: Thanks! I never purposely set out to give songs a retro feel, yet I often end up with something that has that feel. I guess I must just like a good 'ol tune

This is the first song that I have heard of yours, Jim, and I like it. I have very little time nowadays to 'wander around' and listen to artists that are totally new to me. I am glad that I came across your music in my wanderings today.

:)Steve S-N

Thanks Steve! I know what you mean... so little time, so much music, what is one to do but wander?

Hi Jim,

First time listening to your music as well - really impressed! Great building arrangements, good musicianship, and foremost great taste :-) Wonderful stuff.

I took the opportunity to listen to some of your other songs from your website, and this is really reperesentative of the general quality of your work!

You must spend a lot of time on production? You seem to have a very solid style going, but have you considered doing a couple of 'marketing' songs (quicker-to-the-chrous kind of things) to generate commercial interest in these gems? I would think a couple of those hit formula songs would do something for you in the pop market (which I think are your market for these)..

Great listen, Jim!

Hi Magne,

Thanks for all the compliments!

I do spend quite some time on production. For this new album, I'm averaging 2 days for the demo that Sub plays the drums to and then 3-4 days to record the final version and another solid day on the mix. I never asked Sub how much time he spends on a drum track, but I think it's 1, 2 days tops. This is all spread out over the coarse of a month, so I'll have lots of time to ponder my every step.

I have considered doing 'marketing' songs, but I am no fan of the idea. It just feels wrong and unnecessary. I don't hear bands like Radiohead and Coldplay do it, so why should I?

Hi Jim

Once again another great addition for your cd project - I really like the piano part on this one. Seems like it will sit well with the rest. Keep going and best wishes. It's nice to see someone working with a strong vision and lots of talent jm

Jim,

First, I really enjoyed your song, from beginning to end. I like the layering on the mix when you pop the listener with the chorus. And the repetition of that sequence keeps the song moving forward throughout.

And the concept of the lyric is interesting and very creative. I do think the vocal could be brought forward just a little more so it isn't swallowed by the music at times.

Very good song that I truly enjoyed listening to. Good luck with this and your CD project.

Alan

I love it Jim. I don't really have any nits. I can't find any fault with the lyrics, music or vocals. Really nice job.

The only thing I can say, and I'm sure at this point it's not helpful, but I'll say it anyway... What you have labeled as 'solo' is a real cool part. In retrospect, I think the tune would have been stronger if you had used part of it after the 1st vs too and maybe even referenced it in the intro... it could have been a great instrumental hook for the piece.

Nevertheless really great job.

Peace,

Ian

Thanks all!

@jm: I will, of course, keep going until the very end!

@Alan: I'm sure that the engineer who'll do the final mixing agrees with you on bringing out the vocal, but I'll make a note of it anyway. It's really hard for me to get it exactly right, because I have no problem hearing it (probably 'cause I sang it and know what to expect ;))

@Ian: I hear ya! It's definitely a cool part, though I also believe it would be a little less cool if you heard it more often in the song. In this case, I think I'd be trading one cool part (the current recurring intro) for another (the solo part). But it's definitely something to keep in mind for future songs.

Hi Jim

I loved it, very well done, congratulations, this Aussie girl would love to purchase your CD when it's finished. Cool.

Michele

Thanks! I'll be sure to let you know when it's out!

Hi Jim,

Good job, I enjoyed your work.
Nice bass.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Thanks Calvin! I'll pass the compliment on to my bass player (Pepijn)

Hey Jim, solid all around!

Perfect atmosphere for the lyrics.

Thumbs up!

Best, John

Thanks John!

Hey Jim,

All in all, a real nice listen. Instrumentation and arrangement are spot on. Interesting and dynamic opening, cool change at 0.34 and then into the chorus.

This song is going to take an extended period of time to mix down, which is the fun part. There's so much going on, it keeps it all moving foward.

Have fun with the final mix. I can see the odd arguement happning ( in a good way ) LOL.

cheers, niteshift

PS - I can hear 2 or 3 more harmonic overdubs, in certain places, so it's great when a song can induce more musical "thoughts" than are actually present.