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Dan O'Connell
JPF Mp3 Boards

Hi Dan,

Listened to "Southbound Train" and enjoyed it very much. Wonderful guitars and feel.
Can't pitch this as it's not a hit song candidate, just the wrong race.
But if you tighten up this production it can be a good one for film pitching. It will fit many scenes as trains are a common theme.

Get those vocals up there and as confident as the guitar.

Although we are looking for hits,we do have a department for film and TV placements. Also some times they lead to hits.
So feel free to submit when the production is ready.
Nice work here Dan. And I love slide.

Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Dear Mr. Knowitall,

I see that you are running out of new songs to review and have found few hits! While my first submission did not catch your ear, if you are willing to listen to a second one from me, I am sure you will have a hit on your hands, even though it is in the Adult Contemporary genre rather than hip hop, teenie-pop or country.

This is a Florida beach song called Folks on Treasure Island.

[color:#990000][size:14pt]Folks On Treasure Island[/size][/color]

Folks on Treasure Island Copyright © 2009 Colin Ward

V1
Fat guy sittin' on a park bench,
Shorts hang below his knees,
Hair down his back to his plumber's crack,
Looks like he's taking it easy,
Waiting for a bus

V2
A pickup truck full of people,
Coming from the beach all wet,
Carrying signs, protesting the times,
Something has got 'em upset,
Hope it's not us

CHORUS
Folks on Treasure Island,
Soaking up the Florida sun,
Kids with curls and boys with girls,
The beach is where they've come,
To kick up a fuss

V3
Bikini strolling the sidewalk,
Guys all stop and stare,
Pink on her back, stamp like a tramp,
Pretendin' she don't care,
Who can she trust?

CHORUS

INSTRUMENTAL

Br
Hair of blue and silver,
Living their memories,
Walking with a cane, ignoring their pain,
Loving the sun and the breeze,
Soon be back on the bus

CHORUS

Dear Mike,

I would like to present to you LET IT GO by James Fitzgerald & Tim Widdup of 'Jam Time Music' from London England.

'Let It Go' is about the daily struggle that people face when aspiring towards their goals. Just Let what is holding you back go & take your chance.

Please enjoy the song. Any feedback is very welcomed.

http://www.myspace.com/northfieldsongs

LET IT GO

What I'm meant to be
Only I can see
Now I understand
What it is & who I am
I don't wanna be
Something to take or leave
And if I wait for life will it wait for me, will I live at all

Let it go let it go if you wanna be free
Everyday everyday you can let the world see
Yeah i know yeah i know that it wont be easy
So here we go

Fear is the enemy
It makes you believe
That you cannot be what you wanted to be

Let it go let it go if you wanna be free
Everyday everyday you can let the world see
Yeah i know yeah i know that it wont be easy
So here we go

What I'm meant to be
Only I can see
Now I understand
What it is & who I am
Every time you're on your own
You can feel your not alone
And you might as well believe
You can let it go

Let it go let it go if you wanna be free
Everyday everyday you can let the world see
Yeah i know yeah i know that it wont be easy
So here we go
Let it go let it go if you wanna be free
Everyday everyday you can let the world see
Yeah i know yeah i know that it wont be easy
So here we go

What im meant to be
Only I can see
Now i understand
What it is & who i am

hey Mike did you miss the Walls song up at the top just after Stan's song??? thanks glyn

Thank you mike,
I will try it with the changes you recomend and see how it goes.

sharla

Just one more before the deadline
this song is written for an artist like Basia,
(it would be played to a rumba beat with real fun harmonies in the chorus.)
called "DE Ja Vu"
(After looking at many songwriting websites, I could see adding a bridge or change up into this song.)

http://www.sharlashore.com/music-21.html

De Ja Vu

I’m walking down the street of a town I’ve never been.
But just the same I feel this place was once my home.
Coming back, to remember.
The secrets getting closer for me to unlock.

(Chorus)
De ja vu in this moment, what is it I need to know.
De ja vu is this happening? I heard of you long ago,
in a song by Dionne Warwick, ba ba, bay, a da, da, day, ya da day yum

Familiar thoughts are dancing through my head.
Remembering another life I lead.
When I had a dance with you,
Or was it just another aspect of myself.

(Chorus)
De ja vu in this moment, what is it I need to know.
De ja vu is this happening? I heard of you long ago,
in a song by Dionne Warwick, ba ba, bay, a da, da, bay, ya da day yum
A song by Dionne Warwick, ba ba, bay, a da, da, bay, ya da day yum
A song by Dionne Warwick, ba ba, bay, a da, da, bay, ya da day yum

So sorry for the inconvenience, the jamwave site was down the day I posted this one. I'm re-posting it here with a new link. Thank you and again, my apologies!

www.jamwave.com/brendamcbryde

Get To Your Heart
written by: James Ryce/Brenda McBryde
©2009

I keep waiting for a day that never comes
And I keep pretending there's love when there's none
I always let you go to watch you fly
But it's better then saying goodbye

I can't get to your heart though for years you know I've tried
And you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
You know that I would beg and plead, to hell with lovers pride
I can't get to your heart, but I can't say goodbye

You call me with plans so mine get rearranged
Then later you tell me your mind has changed
And even when my heart gets cast aside
Its still better then saying goodbye

I can't get to your heart though for years you know I've tried
And you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
You know that I would beg and plead, to hell with lovers pride
I can't get to your heart, but I can't say goodbye


Everyone has to finally draw the line
When there's no hope left in sight
I'll let the light of a new day shine
I guess I'm saying goodbye


I can't get to your heart so I'll just say goodbye
'Cause you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
I'll no longer beg and plead, I'll hang on to my pride
I might get to your heart, when you hear me say goodbye

yeah, I might get to your heart, when you hear me say goodbye

Shoot Dogs!...I got the code!!!1864

Dear Mr.K.
c/o Mike & Missingteethincorporated NYC,

G'Mornin' Mike,
Thanks for your very kind response to my song! I'm gonna try to apply your suggestions and see if I can tighten this bugga up!

I do have a question though...I'm not sure what you mean when you said, "Get the vocals to really nail it down with dynamics". At this point, I'm lacking the resources to avail myself to anything other than my own vocals and limited guitaring! Do you think maybe this song merits investing in other singers and musicians?

Thanks again, Mike! That you're doin' all this while in much pain is amazing to me!

God bless ya, Mike. Loved the Missinteethinc.!
yerz, Ellen

lol, just disregard that picture, that's my old uncle Lou,

Thanks Mike, Probably the nicest reject letter I ever got...and thanks for taking all this time on this thread. It's a goldmine. Lots of knowledge can be gleaned from all your comments. I'll keep at it

Hi Glynn

No, dear I'm actually hesitant to respond on songs I had lots of involvement with. I'm the only person performing on that recording lol and I changed and wrote melodies and altered & added lyrics a bit. So I'm biased! besides liking you! and the others.

That song kick butt, top to bottom, it's band type song mostly but with that style and subject matter where can you put in on the radio? Nowhere? unfortunately.

So unless I am or we are the artist or band there's no where to go with it. Hey Santana or Los Lonely Boys takes it and it's a money maker and fan approved tune. But we are not them we have NO clout and get no chance.

Great song! belongs on a great artists CD! An established one.

Thanks Glyn
Hope you are feeling and doing better, been praying for you.

Mike

Hi

Can you believe I'm still up from Thursday.. It's now 11:50 am
I'm insane.

Yes El

I think it's worth locking in at least one solid guitar and vocal track.
Do one vocal best you can and hire someone to sing it and see if they can take it over the top a bit more.

So start with a solid in time guitar and then a vocal,,, this way you can always add a more full band to it later if desired.
Be sure to use a click track or drum machine to keep time.

Good song, and worth the work.

Mike

Going to try and go to sleep, up all night without drinking, partying or messing about lol is foolish!

Thanks Louis

Maybe at the end of this thread I'll copy and post one of my rejection letters to share with the group. Excuse me (one of my many rejection letters)

Mike

http://www.myspace.com/folkinblues

Far Away

(c) Bluesriff Brown 2006

V1

feelin down,

kickin at

a coke can

on the ground

wondrin' why

your not still around

but its what i say

that sent you so

far away


where's my heart?

i know i had it
from the start
somehow it was
taken in
the dark
where i
use to pray

now its
so far
away

bridge

Outta sorts
outta touch
so far away
I dont see much
but scattered dreams
and pieces of the truth

my words are rough
eyes are mean
Ive seen more
than most men seen
thats why im so far
away from you



V3

where's my soul,
it wanders off
I cant say where
it goes
to a place, my
god only knows
gotta pray today

cause my soul's
so far away


V4

and I dream

a time before
my heart was cold
and mean
love was everywhere
or so it seemed

but not today

cause my heart is
so far
away

my soul has
drifted away

my love's
so far
away

Dr Mr. Mike.
Thank you very much for taking time to listen to Take Me Like A Man.

I will take all of your advice into consideration. I did not sing it. The lady that did, felt a bit uncomfortable singing that style of song. So perhaps with some lyrical tweaks it is something I should consider paying for a demo on?

I do appreciate your help and if my husband ever gets off of short time, perhaps I could swing a demo session.

Most sincerely,
Kimberly Kime

Mike thank you sir for your kind review. Greatly appreciate it my friend.

Dan

Mike
I do not want to impose on you, there is just one more that I liked only because I wrote it for my daughters wedding. It is a country ballad and I call it "Katie's song" for my daughters

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7168802

any suggestion would be great and I thank you from my heart. This maybe just a family song an nothing more but it has a lot of meaning to me

Dan

Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Dear Mr. Knowitall,

As a well known glutton for punishment, I humbly submit another song. As always, I appreciate your time and effort to listen to my submission. Looking forward to your reply.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7161484

UNTIL NOW
©Ricki E. Bellos

Never picked first for schoolyard games
Often ignored, no one knew my name
More liability than asset
I was always the one left for last

Shy and quiet, never first to speak
Some call it moody, some call it meek
What I lacked in social graces
I more than made up for in bad taste

Until now, until you
No one ever thought of me first
Until now, until you
Showed me just how much I was worth

Never had this feeling of inner peace
Living in my own skin with perfect ease
I wondered what that might be like
To enjoy life without a fight

My struggle now is to fully believe
This gift of love you bring is all for me
It’s a love I want to deserve
Listen close before I lose my nerve

Until now, until you
I was stumbling through life asleep
Until now, until you
Gave me something I could keep

Until now, until you
I didn’t know anything was wrong
Until now, until you
Gave me all I ever wanted
Never knew what I wanted
Until you, until now
Until you, until now

Dear Mr Knowitall, thank you for the opportunity to submit
material, please fine enclosed my Soundclick link and lyric sheet for the song
"I Didn’t Cry Last Night" for a female vocalist, thanks again,



Listen here:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=495672



I Didn’t Cry Last Night

© 2000 Irwin Byron Abrigo


(V1)
I was the fool
you broke all the rule
playing games that lovers do
Never caring
bout my feelings
nights alone I sit and cried
Asking myself why
all I ask is that you love me too
But last night I told myself
I ain't crying no more
I stood up strong, cause I realize
I’ve got to survive


(Chorus)
And I didn't last night
I'm not complaining
I didn't cry last night
all that you've put me though
I’m not hurting anymore
I made it through the storm
and Now there's a calm
cause I'm not crying no more


(V2)
Knowing its wrong
still you went along
Breaking each and every vow
I was thinking about our marriage
I do believe in love
even though for it hurts
I give you my all
Why can’t you give it too
I use to cry every and every night I did
On my pillow I’d cried
a river like the Nile


(Chorus)
And I didn't last night
I'm not complaining
I didn't cry last night
all that you've put me though
I’m not hurting anymore
I made it through the storm
and Now there's a calm
cause I'm not crying no more

Brenda Mcbryde
JPF Mp3 Boards


Dear Brenda

Thanks for the recent submission. Listened to "Get To Your Heart"
Although it was well written and heart felt it did not stand out enough in any particular way, too be a chart placer.

The melody needed more glue, and the lyric didn't pop.
The three main aspects, the melody,lyrics,rhythm/feel all were too plain and sat there too safely.

It's just not strong enough. Wish I had more to offer and I hope the best for you in the future.

Sincerely
Mr Mkowitall
Sublevel Music

Colin Ward
JPF Boards



Dear Colin,

Thanks for this recent submission. Well you did state yourself in the letter all the categories it wouldn't fit which are all the main chart categories.
Now Adult Contemporary? I have too check see if that's still a chart. It seems that genre has been reserved for radio stations playing classic rock/pop or oldies. Sad but true, the last things I heard in that world were a range of artists from Celine Dion, to Rod Stewart to Meatloaf.
This song does not fit those mentioned or others like them.

While I think this song is catchier then the last one you submitted it is still a tough bet for any placement.
Regardless even of a genre it still needs hit song elements.
While I appreciated the humorous angle of these lyrics and the craft in which you laid it out, this lyric and subject matter
is just not going to be relate able to enough people IMOP.

Sorry to say not a hit here in any chart category but a well written work. Reminds me, I find many writers are still aiming at a Margaritaville approach to a hit song. Although there's merit in it, is there any place for it in 2009? Not sure. Perhaps Toby Keith has filled that gap. But even with that approach that song is very tight.. A Very very memorable hook, the biggest key to a hit song period.
All The best and thanks again.

Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Dear Mr. Knowitall,

I know I write songs for niches that nobody listens to (!), but thanks for liking the hook and tightness of the song.

It is very kind of you to listen to our music and offer your constructive criticism and I will be certain to submit the next big hit to you when it finally comes to me.

Colin

Hi Mike & Thanks for Doing This, ya Kind Soul!

Here's about the ONLY one I got easy-access to...a nice Co- with Mark Schuessler, "You Saved Me". It's hearable at Mark's Pop-Rock Site at Soundclick...(I've forgotten the URL..sorry!) <www.Soundclick.com> then search "Mark Schuessler"...should work.

Lyrics below, Vocals & Arrangement & Recording's by Mark.

"You Saved Me" (C) 2009 by Good & Schuessler BMI

I was so blind I could not see
This world's dead weight was killing me
Knee-deep in dreams that died
Until you rallied by my side

(CHORUS)
Yes, I was lost but then you found me, found me, Baby you found me..
You came and wrapped your arms around me, 'round me, Love all around me..
Now I thank God for what you gave me, gave me, Oh what you gave me..
Baby..YOU SAVED ME!--

My high-hopes piled up in the dust
Those big plans for the two of us
And as they vanished in the wind
You helped me find my feet again..

(REPEAT CHORUS)

(BRIDGE)
Oh, I was wrong, I can't go on..on my own
No man is ever strong-enough...Alone...

(CHORUS OUT)

Hope ya likes it, & Thanks for Listening & For Your Time, Amigo!
Best Wishes/Big Guy-Hug,
Stan & Mark

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1016904&content=songinfo&songID=8448290


To whom it may concern:

I have submitted this tune in the hopes the you would find an artist to record it. I want to thank you for the chance to have my song heard, and look forward to said song paying for serveral camping trips. That being said call your secretary in hit play and dance.

Yours Truly
Paul Gaines

James DF5
JPF Mp3 Boards

Dear James,

Thanks for submitting. Listened to "Let It Go"
It gives me great pleasure to say Congratulations and welcome
to the Sublevel Music family. We would like to accept this song
and are open to hearing more.

Taking a closer look at what you have here. Your situation is something that is near to my heart in that you have a song that sounds like you are the artist/band. Not sure you aren't a band but you write like one. So pitching a song like this to another band is very very difficult,nobody takes songs anymore. Although on my label I'm not so close minded to ignore the past and best way to go about getting music out.

I would let another band on my label do an OUTSIDE song. It gives them much greater depth and longevity. And a better CD instead of just a one song 99 cent download.

Now what I'm thinking is making your production recording of this song sound the best it can, perhaps re-master or re-mix re-master. We would pay for all of that of course.
And shopping it as is.
In the song itself I found it to be flat out catchy and memorable. This song works in so many movies or TV shows period.
You can feel the scenes just from listening to song without the visual. That's what good universal songs do!

The song is good in all the most important regards. It feels great. It is catchy,with wonderful melodies. The lyric are NEVER
awkward the words all sing so easily. They are also universal in they do not get over specific. So when this is playing behind a scene of a show or movie it's gonna work, I know it for a fact.
Great rhythm also with accents.
It has a GREAT arrangement and sounds current.

I found it very interesting that your verse was altered in the second verse, the short one to the chorus was very very effective. Was was unusual also was your bridge was the first verse repeated lyrically. I have never seen that before. The bridge music was wonderful, wouldn't have minded a switch of lines there just to enhance it even more,but it still worked.
When the whole package is right, you can get away with a lot more
stuff lol.

Loved the second verse melody. And the chorus is a winner.
Great tag, section as well. You knew how to make an exit.

Again, if this was the "All American Rejects" doing this song, it's on the radio and on TV with them performing it and there fans buying it. We can never get them to do it... So I suggest being prepared best we can to do it ourselves. Also keep in mind once you have something other opportunities present themselves.

But it's a pitch for serious prime time TV and film opps.
I'm so thrilled to share in this rewarding feeling of getting something accomplished with hard work & love of music behind it.
Again Congratulations,

Will be in touch
Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

SAY WHEN (Cotton, Heinzelman, Moon)

http://tunesmithpro.ning.com/profile/NeilCotton Song #3
Player is in the left margin, halfway down the page

Let’s stay in bed, leave the covers on the floor
Right where we tossed ‘em the night before
Don’t worry about the sun peaking through the shades
We’ll close our eyes and let time fade away
Again…..

Say when
When you need my love
And you want a tender touch
Say when
And I’ll start each day
Loving you this way
All you have to do is..
say when


No need to rush, we got no place to go
Let’s cuddle up and get real close
There’s nothing that I’d rather do
Than lay here all day touching you
Again….

Say when
When you need my love
And you want a tender touch
Say when
And I’ll start each day
Loving you this way
All you have to do is..
say when

Baby just one word from you
Is all it takes


Say when
When you need my love
And you want a tender touch
Say when
And I’ll start each day
Loving you this way

All you have to do is..
say when

Contact:
Neil Cotton 905-873-2637
Email: cottonneil@hotmail.com

Hi again Mr. Know-it-all... I'm a glutton for punishment, lol.. I was just wondering if this new tune is more in line to what your looking for. Trying a different direction.

"I Don't"

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=100639&songID=8469441


she wants to hear I do
but I don't
she wants to buy a little house
but I won't

I don't know why she wants
to spoil a good thing
we were getting by fine
without a ring
I don't see a white picket fence
in my dreams
and pickin curtains out
just ain't me
she wants to hear I do
but I don't


she wants to change everything
but I don't
she wants to shop for the ring
but I won't

I don't know why she wants
to spoil a good thing
we were getting by fine
without a ring
I don't see a white picket fence
in my dreams
and pickin curtains out
just ain't me
she wants to hear I do
but I don'

Blues Riff Brown
Mp3 Board




Hi,

Thanks for submitting "Far Away"

I thought the song had a good feel and nice solid playing.
Unfortunately we'll have to pass on it, Just not contemporary enough. The very best part was the soloing.
I would also suggest strengthening the demo's for future presentation, the voice on your songs are almost un-audible.

Thanks
Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Hi Dan,

Since you addressed me and not the label
I have a little basic rule, I never critique personal songs and war songs.
So if someone says this song was for my, Son, Mom, Dad, Daughter,
Dog, Cat, Horse, sister,brother, or Grandmother

There is NO way too critique it and NO critique should ever be needed or carry any real weight.

Aside from all that, the song was pretty and had a wonderful sentiment, she must have been so touched.
From the tiny picture with all respect,may I add she is stunningly beautiful.

All the best
Mike

Stan
JPF Mp3 Boards



Dear Stan,

Thanks for submitting "You Saved Me"
I feel this pretty song has lots of potential. The piano was very alluring and the chorus was beginning to grow on me as the song progressed. The repetition of the words had a nice rhythm to
them,following the hooky piano.

With some slight work on phrasing and a more rangier vocalist to execute these melodies and alter them some the musical aspect of this song can work out wonderfully.

There is more snags to work out involving the lyrics. They just
aren't contemporary for one thing. A bit dated feeling,a touch dramatic when combined with the music style maybe a bit poetic. Nothing really popping out.

I feel the second verse was better than the first, it would be a great move to start with it and re-do the first verse as the new second verse. That verse felt more contemporary and i can hear it
in a few styles of songs including Rock or R&B. Maybe it was a combination of the lyric with the singing musical style that gave me an older song vibe.

I have seen Josh Grobin's lyrics and I wouldn't have accepted a single song of his based on them. So if he gets his hands on this and belts it out all over the place with mass production you got a hit...

Not trying to degrade what you have here, I do appreciate the work. But maybe that's the way to approach this song to sell it. Get the best singer you possibly can afford and rework some melodies so they are less restricted. Do a bigger production as well.

I feel the second verse was better than the first, it would be a nice move to start with it and re-do the first verse as the new second verse. That verse felt more contemporary and i can hear it
in a few styles of song including Rock.

Maybe I think the words dead,died,rallied, didn't gel with me.

I heard a song recently where the lyric was

When it's gone
Any tragedy won't matter
Ebb and flow
Running from the empty room
When one depends on two

All I kept thinking was "When one depends on two"

That line really popped out for me, what a great line! It has a double meaning,few ways to take it, it's unique and made me think.

I think you have a great potential for something strong here.
I would re-visit it and make it the hit it could be.

Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Muisc NYC

Irwin
JPF Boards

Dear Irwin

Thanks for your recent submission. Listened to the song and while it is nicely presented it just doesn't make the cut.
It's simply not strong enough musically or lyrically. It needs more substance in both areas.
If you listen carefully the first thing you should notice is how the first verse felt awkward and seems to string along way too long. Wordy and the phrasing just ran into each other, the listener could not catch on too anything.

I don't often have the time to get into it in detail.
But perhaps as an exercise and for fun re-edit the lines you have and force a rhythm change to the melody. MAke this bounce and break it up some..

I was the fool
who broke the rules
Playing games that lovers do
Never caring about feelings
Or what I did last night

I can hear a completely different groove for the vocal.

I would keep developing and working on stronger clearer lyrical
aspects, and easier melodies to flow and follow.

All the best
Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Hi Mike,

Thank you for taking the time to give me feedback on Walls, and I do agree, but I just love this song, maybe cause You did do it...don't know but, it will always be my favorite of any of mine, no matter how many i do...and sometimes I feel better, and sometimes not so good..went to work tonight, for a 12 hour shift, and had to leave at 1am..6 hours, dizzy, nausated, bent over with pain..??????? why won't it just stop, I asked it very nicely to....oh well it will be ok..right? and thanks for praying for me , and hey I do for you too..love you Mike, glyn

Hi Mike

Just about to go to bed, it's nearly midnight here. Have you caught up yet??

I would really like for you to have a look & listen to another song, written by Kaley Willow and myself, singer Heather Cowles, production Mike Caro, it's called "Broken Trust". This song I have many react to it here in Australia, telling me to get this song out their, a very sad song, but a very honest song. Maybe this song would make a great commercial song for charities like Salvation Army, Red Cross or a film, etc.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Hugs

Michele Aussie Bolton

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7367365

Broken Trust

It's dark in the room
But I can see him
I smell his sweat
And the liquor on his breath
My clothing lies on the floor
Won't someone help me
I'm a child without a childhood anymore

Mommy...Daddy..please
Come to me **********
I don't know what's happening
Can't cry out...and I can't breathe
Mommy...Daddy ..please
We're a family
With a broken trust
With a broken trust

He took my youth..and then took
My innocence
I grew up..
Thinking I'd done something wrong
I didn't know what to do to help my sister
She was next
And that memory lingers on

Mommy...Daddy..please
Come to me
The years go forward
But the past won't always let me breathe ***********
Mommy...Daddy..please
We're a family
With a broken trust
With a broken trust

Each day I try to find the sunshine
With each new smile...a battle's won
But there's darkness in the shadows
Though I can't change the past...
Sometimes I still go... back in time

Mommy...Daddy..please
Come to me
The years go forward
But the past won't always let me breathe
Mommy...Daddy..please
We're a family
With a broken trust
With a broken trust

Ricki B
JPF Mp3 Boards


Dear Ricki

Thanks for your recent submission. "Until Now"
The song doesn't seem to make the fit into what we are looking for. I simply can't pitch it to others or use it as is.

I thought there were nice possibilities for this song in general
if you worked on the melody in combination with the pitch.
The vocal pitch was off in so many spots on this it distracted from the melody completely.

I do however appreciate the work done here and your persistence.

Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Mr KnowItAll,

I hope you have time for another submission. This one is an up-tempo contemporary country song that has a good solid message and would make a great live number as well as a radio single.

MP3: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8473778

Thank you for your consideration,

Kevin

***************************************************************
Country is in the Ear of the Beholder
(c) Kevin Emmrich 2009

(verse 1)
I got my radio on
listening to my favorite song
someone asks ...
"Is that really country?"
"It sounds all wrong"

(verse 2)
but it's telling me a story
about what life is really like
about a young girl, a farmer, a soldier
yea, "Country is in the ear of the beholder"

(chorus)
Country is as country does
quick to help and slow to judge
try to understand what folks go through
do what you can to help them improve
we got tunes about moms and dads
about love and loss
songs about a brand new daughter
yea, Country is in the ear of the beholder

(verse 3)
Now a lot of country singers today
were born and raised in cities
(say it ain't so)
maybe they cut their teeth on rock n' roll
or listening to those pop tart ditties
(ee-hee)

(verse 4)
But country is as big as all outdoors
we can fit a lot under our tent
around here no one's standing
over your shoulder
and country is in the ear of the beholder

(chorus 2)
Country is as country does
a little bit trashy and a lot a bit fun
try to understand what folks go through
do what you can to help them improve
we got tunes about moms and dads
teenage love and grace from above
we got songs about a brand new daughter
yea, Country is in the ear of the beholder

(Instrumental Break)

(Verse 5)
(listen up)
Quite a few folks think that real life
is staring at them from TV (no, no, no)
dancing, cat walks, AI, Big Brother
but Survival ain't guaranteed

(Verse 6)
so get up on your feet and clap your hands
if you ain't groovin', you're big at losin'
you can get better as you get older
and Country is in the ear of the beholder

(chorus )
Yea, Country is as country does
a little bit trashy and a lot a bit fun
try to understand what folks go through
do what you can to help them improve
we got tunes about moms and dads
preachers, teachers, Walmart greeters
and songs about that brand new daughter
yea, .... Country is in the ear of the beholder

(tag)
Yea ... wine, whiskey, pork or kosher
Country is in the ear of the beholder

Dear Mr. Mike,
I appreciate greatly your advice on the last song, Take Me Like a Man.

If you have time, I would be honored to hear your comments for this song, it is a co-write with Ms. Denise Vrana (BubblingSoul) with her vocals. It is an acoustic. It tied for first place in a online contest a few months ago. We had alot of fun collaborating together. The rule for the contest was to use the words "Trampled Roses" in the lyric.
Please let me know what you think of this song. If it is too short? Ready for pitch as acoustic?
Thank you again,
Sincerely,
Kimberly Hales Kime
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7805475
Lyrics
Bedtime Stories and Lies Lyrics-Kime/Vrana
Vocals/Music-Vrana Guitar Warren Jurgens
V1
I know you think you have me with one little look,
And all the fairy tales you can fit in a book
You promise me the world with a white picket fence
But your sweet talk is nothing but pretend

CH
I've got trampled roses beneath my feet,
Cheap wine poured out in the sink
I've heard it all before from other guys
I dont buy anymore
And I won't fall for
Your bedtime stories and lies

V2 rise
You simply cant romance me with one little ring
Or convince me this is more than a summer fling
I am not foolish and surely not naive
You can keep your worthless, empty, cliched make-believe

CH

Bridge
I'm a woman made of flesh and bone
Not some two-bit princess,
I can make it on my own

CH


Tag-
I don't buy anymore
and I wont fall for
Your bedtime stories and lies

Kimberly

Your welcome....

I knew the singer wasn't right.
This is not a knock to your song, but if you have noticed lately
there are many songs I see being performed especially on TV
where the style and attitude is such a major factor...

It MAKES the song... Of course the song in itself must have "something" but that something is a VERY wide range nowadays.
I have seen songs NOT as good as yous do WELL enough.

All the best
Thanks

Dear Sirs:
I would like to take this opportunity to submit for your review the following song called "Chasing the Wind" I hope that you find the song will meet with your standards in hope of selling this song for distribution.

Sincerely
Daniel R. O'Connell
Song writer, BMI

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7489058

Dear Mr. Knowitall,

Thank you for taking time to listen to my last submission. I should have made it clear that I am not a performer and only hoped to learn whether the song was worth any more effort.

I was not going to go for three since that much rejection can start to wear on a person but decided that I've been through worse and have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Again, this is not a professional demo. I am submitting it to determine whether or not it is worthy of having a demo done.

Thanks for your time,

Ricki
(I figure by now we're on a first name basis)

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7005090

WHEN I WHISPER
©McKeever, Williams & Bellos

When I whisper
My secrets to the wind
Do you hear them calling
As they start to roll in
Open your window
Let the night breeze rush through
Designed for pleasure
Delivered just to you

When I whisper
Softly and sweetly
I want so completely
To breathe you, seduce you
Slip into your dreams
When I whisper

When I whisper
My longing and desire
Can you feel it surging
The frenzy and fire
Go ahead reach out
Let promise fill the air
Close your eyes, listen
Though I’m here and you’re there

When I whisper
Free and easy
I dare you to tease me
Catch hold of me, please me
You’re just what I need

When you whisper back let me love you more than this
I begin to imagine the weight of your kiss

When I whisper
Do you know my intentions
When I whisper
Do I have your attention
When I whisper
When I whisper
When I whisper

Paul Gaines
JPF Boards



Hi Paul

Thanks for submitting, I listened to "Heal Billy"
I regret to say it's not something we can use at this time.
I also appreciated the end humor.

Thanks again
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Neil Cotton
JPF Boards

Hi Neil,

Thanks for submitting. I listened to "Say When"
I liked it. It was smooth and catchy, well arranged and nicely done. It had a slightly older feel about it, not that old maybe 80's early 90's. Reminded me of Restless Heart which I really like. Someone else submitted a song recently aiming it towards Adult Contemporary and kind of missed the mark, this to me is Adult Contemporary.

I'm unsure about it at this point, and want to give it the test.
That is simply seeing if it pops back into my head later on and or tomorrow. It may not be a hit single right now but it would definitely make a strong album cut.

Usually all we want is top hits and not album cuts,but I'm personally liking something about this so let's see, and an album cut is not a bad thing.

Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC