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http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=72998
Hi Mike,
I'll submit this song "Cry Like My Baby"

CRY LIKE MY BABY

She's been drunk and she's been bad
now she lost the man she had
She's so wrapped up in a lie
she could lay right down and die


long black shadows in the lane
pointing at herself insane
all her memories are sad
and the rest just makes her mad

I can see her in the dark
on the green bench in the park
watching couples passing by
under black clouds in the sky
uhhh cry like my baby...

And she’s trying to count black sheep’s
in her bed before she sleeps
but she wakes up with the sight
of a new gray day to fight

Empty bottles on the floor
makes her stumble out the door
down the tiny liquor-store
she just need to drink some more

I can see her in the dark
on the green bench in the park
watching couples passing by
under black clouds in the sky
uhhh cry like my baby...

Hey Big Dog Music...(err..Toby Keith...err...Mike)

While I know you have a great stable of writer's (including yourself) I would simply submit the following...Your recent hit "American Ride" should be witness to outside writer's who can still pen a hit...

Respectfully....

Larry

P.S. I didn't send the music for this as I think the lyrics can be interpreted in several ways...I do have very capable people in NYC than can make this tune a big hit..but I know you are more than ready to make this girl rock...


Fate Met Destiny

She was a small town girl
Who just happened to love
A big city boy
Her daddy didn’t
Think much of
She had a sheltered life
Not much of a home
Two hell-bent hearts
That were ready to roam....
Into eternity

CHORUS

They were free spirits
And backseat lovers
With the whole world
Out there to discover
They thought…they had it all covered
Until fate met destiny
Some things weren’t meant to be

Burnin up the road
Two hearts on fire
But flashing lights up ahead
Put the brakes on their desire
In a stolen car
The spike-strips caught a tire (The law shot out a tire?)
It all came to a halt
On the Alabama border

(Instrumental)

They were free spirits
And backseat lovers
With the whole world
Out there to discover
They thought…they had it all covered
Until fate met destiny
Some things weren’t meant to be


Reaching in his jeans to pull out his wallet
Side by side in too big a hurry
Then shots rang out
Things got a little blurry
In each others arms for the very last time
Livin life on the edge
But they paid for the crime
Yeah they paid for the crime

Because they were free spirits
And backseat lovers
With the whole world
Out there to discover
They thought…they had it all covered
Until fate met destiny
Some things weren’t meant to be
Oh some things just weren’t meant to be

© 2009 Larry Westfall

If I had a penny for every time I and I guess many publishers heard that,,,including hearing myself say that,,,,I would be rich!
Just struck me funny, for I have said that exact thing many times before.

The point is, it doesn't matter. No one even knows what a hit will be until becomes one! No matter how much promotion is behind it, and whatever treatment the song gets. It's all business "friends" making educated guesses.

Respectfully,
John

November 30. 2009

Mike Knowitall
Sublevel Music, NYC


Mr. Knowitall,

I am submitting this lyric and mp3 in response to your recent listing: "Publisher, Label Accepting Songs; Post Your Hit Song Submission Here" on the Just Plain Folks web site.

3 Speed Trani is a "New Country" song for a female vocal and is presented in the singer/songwriter demo format.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Ellen Moseley
contact: ***-$$$-****


http://www.box.net/shared/ze1vim9bls

3 Speed Trani

I.

When did I get to be so annoying
have I always been this way
lately it seems like I get it wrong
with a lot of the things that I do or say
I didn’t mean to embarrass you
didn’t mean to blow your scene
it’s just the way I am and I’ll be damned
if I can figure out any other way to be


CHORUS:

love me or leave me
don’t ask me to change too much
baby, I’m not an automatic
I’m a three-speed trani with a worn out clutch
love me or leave me
trade me in, don’t fix me up
‘cause baby, I’m not an automatic
I’m a three-speed trani with a worn out clutch


II.
Sometimes I’m so comfortable
livin’ in my skin
then you go and poke a hole
and the whole damn world comes crashing in
I’m not what you call high maintenance
just need some TLC
and if you can deal with some quirkiness
you’ll get a lot of mileage out of me


CHORUS


III.
Well, you seem to like the chassis
and the paint job caught your eye
but something ‘bout what makes me tick
well, that don’t seem to fly

baby, you need to figure out
if love can be true
if you can love me just the way I am
maybe I can do the same for you


CHORUS

I remember the "Three Wooden Crosses" song. And couldn't help also remembering how when it got to the chorus of the song,the melody, the sound, the feel, the beat, made it seem like he was happy everyone was dead

Just goes to show how there's all these rules, and then in two seconds there ignored.

Haven't seen Christian Country in top hot 100 lately. But i know what your saying and it's still out there and marketable fr sure.

I only listen to whatever the top hits are that are played on the radio and more so TV video's. I couldn't and wouldn't buy any of it so I really have to listen to what they play. Just like EVERYONE else. Unless your in the know about a particular artist or band then you take what THEY feed you. Don't forget in all this too that Record labels, sponsors & media make HITS all by themselves too. It is NOT always well you gotta have the SONG first.

Sorry stepped out of character again...

Nadia Cripps
JPF Mp3 Boards

Dear Nadia

Thanks for submitting. I listened to "A Soldiers Call"
The song had touching sentiments and some lovely chords & mood setting melodies.
However it is very far off the track of something current and marketable anywhere in the mainstream.
I feel you would have the best opportunities getting involved with theater music and show tunes. Everything about this song had those qualities,tastes and direction.

Thanks

Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Duncan Wells
JPF Mp3 Boards

Hello Duncan

Thanks for submitting. I must tell you the song was quite beautiful. Also enjoyed the production, it was very tasteful and well put together. I loved the piano and fretless bass combination.
It was all very heartfelt and sincere from the vocal on. Wonderful work.

Here is another scenario where I can visualize "the established artist" performing this on say Austin City Limits with the nicely lit setting and the fans really loving it and feeling it.

Would have been nice to see the lyrics along with this, You didn't state your goal or directions for the song. It may be geared to Christian Contemporary if it is, you have a real winner here. It didn't come off as mainstream lyrically and musically it was about halfway in that regard.

With a production done this far and well I wouldn't hesitate with such a nice song as this to finish it out. Background vocals with girls and maybe children would have really sent this over the top. What kept it out of most mainstream opportunities
was the lyric and probably the style. Meaning it really didn't have a straight up chorus type of effect or strong standout resolving effect. But it was still effective and hit a spot.

It is without a doubt a very good song, and definitely if given the chance makes an album cut I believe for sure.
We are looking for hits though and this almost breaks through it has most of the elements but not all of them, besides being geared into a more specific direction.

If I find I'm working in the genre relative to this and also here some more of your work I will bring up your name as a recommendation for placement.

Great Work Look forward to hearing from you again. Submission code 1864
Thanks
Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Michele Bolton
JPF Mp3 Boards

Dear Michele

Thanks for your recent submission "Don't Push My Button"
We are pleased to tell you we think you have something here with this song. The plain fact is the song is just flat out catchy period. I heard it only once and it is stuck in my head for good.

It was simple effective and had some very clever moves. I loved the tempo/feel changes of when it dropped into the verses. This song has lots of old school traits too it that can be refreshing again. Most songs shouldn't start with the chorus, a few really should and this is one of those few.

The obvious accent of the vocal made it seem like it had a cross between a standard more traditional Country type song, a kinda punk softer rock song, or a somewhere in between like say the Georgia Satellites. "Keep Your Hands To Yourself"

Either way the vocals sold the emotion and feeling of the song.
I can hear a Dolly Parton type or a Tanya Tucker doing this no problem. Country is not my department but whoever is in that style for today.

The song has a novelty way about it as well as a pretty heavy message, would be a nice refreshing way of putting such a point across rather than doing what lots of tunes are doing that is having everyone just feeling like killing themselves or go to the bar and drink,heck yeah party songs.

The trick with this is placement and where and with who to make this happen, but it could happen. It may come and go,many many hits do.
When I start to second guess this song the bottom line no matter what is it's the catchiest chorus I have heard in a long while. It's simply so singable it wouldn't matter what you said and you say some very effective things.

I'm gonna place this song on hold,congratulations!
It may take time but, I have no doubt in this songs appeal.

We'll contact you by phone.
Thanks again

Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Bob

You had me at Mr. Knowitall :)lol

The fact that you guys were sitting around listening and even thinking about me is appreciated more than you'll ever know.

Thanks
Mike

Hi Mike (Mr Know it all)

I'm gonna place this song on hold,congratulations!
It may take time but, I have no doubt in this songs appeal.

We'll contact you by phone.
Thanks again

Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Thank you so much, so pleased you enjoyed "Don't push my button", Mike I really believe in this song too. Here in Australia, where I worked once, they had a fellow playing and singing, and I was telling him all about this song. He played it after he finished his gig, and the customers where shocked, you could see there mouths opening, one said to me, Michele, what are you working here for, one shock my hand and said, wow, I could be shaking the hand of a star, well I can tell you, this Aussie girl was thrilled to bits. Many others here have heard it, and wanted a CD of it, but I haven't given it away just yet.

I reckon Dolly Pardon or Tanya Tucker could nail this song also, Wow, that's a compliment.

So Mike I'm looking forward to receiving that phone call.YIPEE!

Off to bed now, it's after midnight here, golly gosh, I'm way to busy.

Hugs Michele Aussie Bolton.
_________________________

Hi Michele

I was just gonna try to go to sleep and I checked and saw this.
It's nice to see you happy.

I wish I really was a publisher or label of high status because I would take this song. And that's not just because your a friend.
I have heard a few of your others, and while there good they are not striking like this one.

Hey even if you were a one hit wonder that wouldn't be so bad would it?
I'd take it! I'll take my hit and my money. Take care of those who matter most and are in desperate need.

Then musically I just bring in the most killer musicians I can find. PAY them WELL and make slamming music of ANY kind all the time. Lots of instrumentals!

How are you doing contact wise and pitching wise with this song?
You don't have to mention names here but are there solid plans?

I hope so... and you know if I ever get the chance to pitch it to someone where it fits, ya know I will.

You like myself may never be a star and never earn a penny writing songs... But you DID write a hit one no matter what happens. They spend some bucks on this and play it and people WILL go for it. The CHORUS is completely UNIVERSAL.

So that means ANYONE can sing it, and aim it towards anyone they wish too. Man/Woman... Woman/Man Child/Parent Parent/Child Man/Dog lol.. Bet you didn't even realize how universal you were being did ya? perhaps! I work on that for hours and hours and days & days with certain songs!

All The Best
Mike

PS - I heard this song ONCE at least a year ago or so and NEVER forgot how it went..... That has happened here on the MP3 Boards maybe 5 times in all the years I've been here, maybe...

Hey Mike....you made this song so much better.....just read the comments on it.....YOU ARE THE MAN.....

It don't hurt to suck up to the Publisher/Producer....lol....

What do think about the Cooking biz...lol...that's where I'm headed...lol.....

We wish you the best....I feel so strong about you not being in the music business as a Producer, right now,....it is such a shame....what you do for everyone here is a blessing for us all.....my boys REALLY do think the world of you, especially Dennis....it is a shame we don't live "closer to you"......thanks a million times....have a great day.....your buddy....T-Bob

Mike, great idea!
I have so many songs I think could be hits.(maybe need a little tweeking, but close)
So I'll start with this one.

Dear me knowitall,
My name is Sharla Shore I am a singer /songwriter, after looking over your company profile very closely, I picked a song that I feel would match the style and groove your company promotes.
this is a country/rock song with a little honkey tonk. could be sung by a man or woman. Enclosed is a SASE.
Thank You for replying
sincerely,
Sharla Shore
www.sharlashore.com




Leavin you behind

http://www.sharlashore.com/music-11.html

Leavin You Behind


(verse)
I'm putting my foot, in front of the other.
I'm taking a step, then taking another.
Gonna walk out this door,
leave you behind, you and your sorry mess have played me for the last time.
(Chorus)
Cuz baby, I'm leaving you behind. I'm not gonna be your lover, I'm not gonna be your whore anymore.
(verse)
I'm taking a breath, then taking another,
Breathe the fresh air of freedom, and soon I'll discover,
A beautiful life, of freedom and choice,
Where I'll be happy, and not hear your voice.

(2nd Chorus)
cuz baby, I'm leaving you behind.
Cuz baby, I'm not that trashy kind

(Solo)
(Repeat 1st verse)
(Repeat 2nd chorus twice)

Thank you very much for listening to "Soldier's Call", Mike. Although you are playing the role of a publisher accepting our songs for submissions, you have done more then most publishers I've sent my music to - you actually spent time listening and evaluating the song! I'm reading the thread with interest as it has amazing wealth of information and an insight of a real publisher which is so rare to find these days. Good luck with your work and thank you for your brilliant idea to start this thread. Yes, it is true, I'm composing theatre/stage songs for a long while now, it just so happens that whatever lyric I'm sent I hear in this genre and I now stopped fighting it, I just go for it, it must be my destiny.

Kindness regards always,
Nadia

Nadia

You're very welcome. I thought about that at first,replying more like the bigger companies do, which is on the average about
two to four lines. Just for the "wow what a bummer impact" lol
But of course all we learn from that is how to take a beating
over and over. which is important too.

What is really good here is that you are focused! People need to focus on there strengths. Stage,Theatre etc.. is a great field for music. Also the main thing is that you should and can try all knids of things musically, no rules.

But if you focus on something and get really god at it and then somewhere with it, EVERYTHING else can start opening up to you a bit.

Think of the actors who do voice overs for all these cartoons,shows they are never seen but the "INDUSTRY" knows who they are. That leads to more work and better opportunities.

Theater relates to films as well and that can be a great avenue, for work,happiness,and success.

Play into your strengths the rest will ease in behind it.


PS - Besides that, who would you rather be like, some teen pop star who goes away, or Danny Elfman who never goes away

Hi I humbly submit this song on behalf of Kim and Taylor the co writers. When I first heard Taylors vocal version I was blown away and had to record my version. I am also pitching this on behalf of Kim and Taylor to an international recording star in the hope she records it. So if you want it first better get in fast.

Kimberlyinnc/Kimberly Hales Kime-Lyrics
Taylor Brandesky-Music/Vocals
*Taylor is available for demos, and instrumentals, mixing at
taylorbrandesky@gmail.com

Please let us know your comments and suggies..thanks!!

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8227503 Our version


*******BIG JIM'S Version...same music, his vocals!!
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8339523*******
Without A Trace

I was starving in a wilderness without
Searching for myself
Searching for a love
Wrapped up in doubt
Just past the loneliness
Just past the pain
I saw love standing there
Now I’m not the same

Catch me if you will
Save me if you can
And if you need me,
take me by the hand
Catch me if you will
Save me if you can
But if you don’t love me,
Help me understand
How to lose you
How to lose myself
‘til you’re gone
Without a trace

Ya came to me, ya came to me
with emptiness inside
searching for yourself,
searching for a love,
troubled state of mind
Just past the craziness,
Just beyond your soul
we loved past our passion
And we lost control

Catch me if you will
Save me if you can
And if you need me,
take me by the hand
Catch me if you will
Save me if you can
But if you don’t love me
Help me understand
How to lose you
How to lose myself
‘til you’re gone
Without a trace


Bridge
Cause no matter what I do
No matter what I say
Every time my heart beats it fills my blood with you
Every time I say your name I get high from the sound
Spinning me into oblivion round and round and round


Catch me if you will
Save me if you can
Please say you need me…
Catch me if you will
Save me if you can
But if you don’t love me
Help me understand
How to lose you (ya)
How to lose myself
How to lose you (ya)
How to lose myself
‘Til you’re gone
‘Til you’re gone
without a trace

© 2009 Kimberly Hales Kime

Mr. Know-it-all,

Thanks in advance for taking the time to listen and evaluate my latest song "This Ain't A Love Song" I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Greg Swartzentruber

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8013020

This Ain't A Love Song
(c) 2009 Greg Swartzentruber/Dorothy Potter/Robert Sands

I've been tryin' to write a love song for you
But it's no use, it's something I can't do
Cause everything I wanna write's been said before
But I wanna tell you somehow
That I love you more and more

But...
This ain't a love song
I wouldn't know where to start
Writing a love song
Even if I sing it soft
It still ain't a love song
I can't find the words to say
How I feel but I want to show you everyday
But this ain't a love song

I bet those love songs that you hear on the radio
Make you sigh, they're full of words I don't know
But fancy words fall short of what I feel today
And when I look at you my darling
You simply take my breath away

But...
This ain't a love song
I wouldn't know where to start
Writing a love song
Even if I sing it soft
It still ain't a love song
I can't find the words to say
That I'm grateful every time you call my name

Bridge~
Cuz this ain't some love song
Like you hear most everyday
To me they just feel wrong
Can't bring myself to sing 'em
Gonna show you all my love some other way


So I hope that it's enough for me to say
that you're the one I think about you night and day
And when I hold you in our quiet bed at night
Well I think that writing love songs
Is just a big old waste of time

But...
This ain't a love song
I wouldn't know where to start
Writing a love song
Even if I sing it soft
It still ain't a love song
But don't get me wrong
There's nothing else I'd rather do today
Than tell you that forever I will stay with the one that I adore
There's nothin more to say

So this ain't a love song
No, this ain't a love song

Ricki Bellos
JPF Mp3 Boards

Dear Ricki

Thanks for the submission. Listened to "No Fear"
While the song had a cool artistry style I don't feel it is a hit song candidate.In that regard it is not relate-able enough. And the lyrical & musical style and overall effect of the song seems much more a personal one than a universal one.

Wish you all the best
Thanks

Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Hi Michele

I wish I really was a publisher or label of high status because I would take this song. And that's not just because your a friend.
I have heard a few of your others, and while there good they are not striking like this one.

Hey even if you were a one hit wonder that wouldn't be so bad would it?
I'd take it! I'll take my hit and my money. Take care of those who matter most and are in desperate need.

Then musically I just bring in the most killer musicians I can find. PAY them WELL and make slamming music of ANY kind all the time. Lots of instrumentals!

How are you doing contact wise and pitching wise with this song?
You don't have to mention names here but are there solid plans?

I hope so... and you know if I ever get the chance to pitch it to someone where it fits, ya know I will.

You like myself may never be a star and never earn a penny writing songs... But you DID write a hit one no matter what happens. They spend some bucks on this and play it and people WILL go for it. The CHORUS is completely UNIVERSAL.

So that means ANYONE can sing it, and aim it towards anyone they wish too. Man/Woman... Woman/Man Child/Parent Parent/Child Man/Dog lol.. Bet you didn't even realize how universal you were being did ya? perhaps! I work on that for hours and hours and days & days with certain songs!

All The Best
Mike

PS - I heard this song ONCE at least a year ago or so and NEVER forgot how it went..... That has happened here on the MP3 Boards maybe 5 times in all the years I've been here, maybe...

Hi Mike, Wow hah, that's a big compliment, thanks for being a big fan.

Hmm, I can't figure out how you all put boxes around peoples replies???

Thanks again, hey, I don't know if I told you, I went to a CLAIRVOYANT, about 12 years ago now, it was very weird, it was as though this woman new me. She told me that I would be moving soon, and when I left, I was really sad, (TRUE) and also that I go through a lot, and I place a big wall up in front of me, she said that I would eventually get through that wall. She also said she could see six children, hmm, I laughed, had four at the time, and said to her know way that's gonna happen, she also said she could see new rings, (TRUE) She then went on to say, that in the future, I change my whole life, I change my friends, she could see me dining with WEALTHY PEOPLE, well this Aussie girl laughed when she said that, and she looked at me and said, I'm not joking, she also said that my hubby finds a house, and she could see him running around trying to get finance to buy this house, it has a long driveway, and she said to me, buy this house, you can afford it, she then said that she could see me driving up the driveway in a really flash car, the house was a old house all done up, veranda's all the way round, polished boards inside, she then said to me, you love roses don't you, I said to her yes, they are my favorite, she said that around this house, their is rose gardens everywhere, a beautiful green lawn, and she could see someone else mowing it, hmmm.

She then went on to say about TAMWORTH, she said I'm not saying your living in Tamworth, but I can see you coming and going from Tamworth, and that Tamworth will have a strong meaning to me in the future, Hmmm. Tamworth is the Capital state for Country Music here in Australia.

Mike, I have no doubt either this song will go No 1, it's a hit, and I can tell you this, the two songs we are currently working on, aren't finished yet, so don't give up on them yet, cause I'm not, and either are my co-writers.

Your right about the Universal, I had no idea.

Another thing I want to say is, that the clairvoyant was wrong about my friends, sought of, hmm, maybe not, cause I have changed a lot of my friends, I have got a new friend, a young Artist who is doing really well here in Australia, she is so supportive, friendly, and encouraging hey, also I have made a lot of great friends here too on JPF, and my close friends who I have around me here, well you will always be my friends, and I don't forget my friends.

As to pitching this song, no I haven't done anything with it Mike, wouldn't even know where to start, except here with Mr Know it all, but I can tell you, if that Clairvoyant is right, if they don't pick it up, it will be their biggest mistake they have ever made in their life.

Okay, I better go, you have a lot of songs to get through Mike, GOLLY GOSH, I will continue having fun with my singing/songwriting, thanks Mike.

A big hi to Tripp, and you will always be my friend.

Hugs Michele

_________________________

Tony Atkinson
JPF Mp3 Boards

Hello Tony

Thanks for submitting and your well received letter.
The song sounded nice,but unfortunately sorry to say it needs a lot of work internally.
The lyrics for one really really need to be a lot more substantial.

And the melody was not grabbing or holding enough. The chorus wasn't strong or moving in either regard.
All of this was very obvious withing thirty seconds and it would have been nicer to have it looked at an considered before investing into the project.

It is good however to finish a song, and take it to the next stages recording,submitting etc..
I hope you can learn from the whole experience,as I'm sure you will. Because when you really learn something then nothing and no time was wasted.

Thanks for considering us
All the Best
Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Hi Michele

Just hit the "quote" box at the bottom of the thread. This will put what we say in the box for you.

Great story! Wow!
Once when I was little kid mys sister had a reading, I wasn't there. She asked her if she had a brother who likes music.
She said "yes I do" Se said, he is going to do very well with,it he's going to be very wealthy and successful. Only he'll struggle very very hard,really tough and things won't really happen until he's much older, later on in life. He's also come through the back door so too speak behind the scenes...

When my sister told me I was like. Blah blah, blah, you seen me on the stage ALWAYS performing with my Rock band, what BACKDOOR?
I'm not a stage hand LOL...

Hmmm could that have been a songwriter/Producer!!!

Anyway one thing proved to be TRUE, I worked really really really really hard!

Michele I sooooooo feel for you about not having anyone to give the song too. That bothers me for anybody,especially when they work hard have a great attitude and actually have something to sell...

That is why networking and getting lucky is SO important
And both will wear you down to the bone!

Bye bye for now..

Hi Mr. K,

Thanks for your time. I really thought I was on to something. I hear a lot of stark, moody pieces on TV and figured this would fit right in. Oh well, back to the writing table!

Your ever hopeful acolyte,

Ricki

Al David
JPF Boards


Hi Alan

Thanks for the recent submission, I enjoyed this very much, it was well arranged,well performed and sounded good.
I here a TV theme in here possibly and a little Bond type of movie music as well. Definitely backing music and credit music as well.

I think to take it where it needs to hit that mark perhaps a little more repetition, also in that let those nice strings join the piano as well.. This does also make a good flat out instrumental to. Which doesn't have to be theme-ish.

I would suggest upgrading your drums library, get some more drum samples. These were a bit dated and hurt the appearance of the song some. Good programming and production ideas though.
Perhaps try to get your hands some hot new hip things too incorporate into your project as well as the very good traditional things your working with.

I would gladly accept this re-vised a bit or some other material for consideration from you based on this work and your abilities.

Look foward to hearing from you again
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Mr. Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC
Today

Dear Mr Knowitall,

In response to your general cattle call for hit songs, please find attatched, my rendition of that well known industry song "Champion" by urban poet, Scott Campbell.

As Mr Campbells' work is truely uniqiue, I have added my own uniqueness to it's origional uniqueness, thus providing a truely doubly unique listening experience which no-one else on the planet is capable of performing.

Mr Campbells credentials are well known, but mine you may not be aware of. I have studied with the Wibbley Warbly Singers Institute of Wisconsen, the Crackling Conundrum Choir in Cleveland, and am currently lead soloist in the Shower Singers Ensemble in Saskatuan. ( just don't bend over to pick up the soap....ahem )

As this song is s well known, it needs no further introduction. I understand it was even covered by some fellow from NY who turned it into a young persons' "head banging" tune, of all things.

Thank you for your time, and you may deposit my advance directly into my Swiss bank account upon your acceptance of my obvious ability.

kindest regards, The Next Phenomenommenommenom....... oh, you get it. ( try saying that with various mind altering substances in the system...... *sniff gurgle belch* )

Ps - link here.... http://iacmusic.com/songs.aspx?SongID=74383&ArtistID=70202

Yo Nightshift,
Dude, yer song's killer! The lone rhythm guitar at the beginning had me expecting something completely different.....love the arrangement, the vocals were spot on and the lyrics, edgy and smart! I just had to chime in on this one.
yerz, Ellen

Dera Mr Knowitall

You may just be too nice for this job !!


I think what you are doing here is a great thing and quite generous to teach us all --- I am reading and learning from your thoughts. So thanks a Bunch ! jm

Hey Miz Ellen,

Why, thank you from a non-vocalist. You may like to join my fan base, for the introductory, once off, offer of a free T-shirt and a case of beer. Only $99.99 , spread over 3 easy payments, and a signed autograph of myself and the Shower Singers Ensemble in all their glory. It's quite a sight, I assure you, especially when one drops the soap. Gold membership is available for those that would like the video. Details through Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, and any other viral network of your choice.

Thank you for providing your email address. I will now provide it on a swap basis, to others who are wishing to sell.... ( oops, sorry ) attract other folks to your known love of both myself and others of a similar vein.

This is a personal message, and should not be distributed to anyone outside your immediate circle.

kind regards, The Next Phenomenommenommenom

PS - Thanks

Hey Mike, I guess I had this one posted to demo within 30 seconds
of a good review when I should have really listened to the
first 30 seconds of the song, I thought it had enough for the
pro-demo to take it a step further but it should of a step
further before the demo, as you say I've learned something
from this, among other things don't be too impulsive, so it's
a case of putting it down experience, thanks for listening
and commenting, the thread as a whole has been educational,
appreciate the work you are putting in to it,

Tony.

Tony

Your very welcome thanks for be so understanding.

You did something wrong & right at the same time.
Many writers won't record or demo something until they thinks it's a hit, or can get a cut, or even gets put on hold etc....
Basically I wont do it until I'm good enough"

Many of those writers NEVER record any songs lol...
When are we ever good enough or know which song is gonna do the best?

You learned a whole process at once, if you don't have ANY recording to play for others how is anyone gonna take you seriously,want to collaborate, basically hear YOU>

This is how you improve, in all aspects. So aside from spending some money, which you can say you invested in YOU. You lost nothing here only gained. Hey no demo, what what you have posted here? lol

PS - If you don't record any at home I suggest you start. or keep developing away to get song ideas down so you can listen back and continue to work them out and redraft etc...
Invest in that a bit first then go for the demo's after taking an outside look and getting some feedback

Richard Myers
JPF Mp3 Boards



Hi Richard

Listened to "Just Gotta Be Here" and read your ideas and goals.
I do agree this song is very geared towards film/TV. It's not that songs are usually written or developed for that sole purpose unless (for hire) But certain songs fit well with a variety of films/scenes. So they are easier to place.

I liked alot of things about this song, but I loved the verse music. The guitar part was wonderful.
I don't hear this as chart pop song but I'm in agreement about the film direction.

There are a few obstacles.
The main one was is a bit of inconsistency. Some parts of the vocal sound fine and other parts don't. If the song goes to films it goes "As Is" so whoever sings it is the singer. Nobody looks for artists to re-do anything in this area.
So for one in needs a little better vocal performance.

In films "sections" of a song can be used and not a whole song, so ten seconds to a minute is a good in between average. This song has a GREAT verse, but not a great chorus. On TV a small piece of a song can go round and around and if it has a good emotional and effective impact it enhances the scene.

Even stuff like trailers/previews the music is very important.
Your chorus doesn't have that effect but your verse does.
Which is okay...

What makes this song geared towards film is also your more vague lyric style. That is very important. But you glue it together with a direct feeling - I JUST GOTTA BE HERE with you tonight.

Now that line fits a WHOLE bunch of film and TV possibilities.
From vampire shows and flicks to war stories to everything!

Only your lyric there lacks the the hook to make that the section to use, or keep repeating. The music and melody,mood of that section needs to be as effective as your verse was.

What I would suggest is this. Keep your original version
of the song as you like. Call it version one. Now rework it so that you get that chorus lyric to work over your verse music some how. Or at least close to that same vibe.. Or a new chorus.

After that (I know it's tough work) maybe re-sing or get an alternate singer and then try sections like versions of the song
with just guitar & vocal, then a two minute one with some nice keyboard pad ,vocal and guitar. Or even a fuller band type version.

Sometimes you can just make a full version and make mixes where you take stuff out and have various stripped down mixes.

I think your concept,title and your verses are worth the effort for all this. Re-work it and make the vocal get into our hearts or gut! And this would be a great tune for film placement.

All the best, keep us posted and thanks for the submission.
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Hi Joice

Thanks Joice, yoy are very welcome.
I'm even much nicer in person and by phone lol...

Imagine how ratings would drop on AI if Simon explained stuff like this? lol..
He can tell if someone sings good or bad. What a way to make millions in the music business. Oh and the ripping people apart,actually that's where he earns his bread!

Ken Damkier
JPF Mp3 Boards

Hi Ken,

I enjoyed "Cry Like My Baby" first off because of the guitar and great mood the song set. The song was well crafted,arranged and recorded. But this to me is not a song to shop, but you as an artist to consider. I liked the vibe you give off as an artist. I would have to hear a three song package to help determine if what you have was something that could benefit us both.

I totally get the word "Style" in my head from hearing you, as most artists in this kind of acoustic music. Does not come off as a right at you vocal really or anything to fancy or different musically so far.
But I do know your good and feel your certainly good enough to want to hear more. S

So please send a three song package right here on this thread. You will need a break though tune (a more hit) type song than this one. So send the best you can and the ones that go over best at shows perhaps.

The code is 1864 for the submission to get on top of the pile.
Write it above the 3 songs you submit here.
Look forward to it.. Thanks for considering us
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Hi Mr Know it all,

DO YOU NEED AN ASSISTANT,LOL, you look very busy, you have to give me a few days, I've picked up some bug, not well at the moment, I'll be back in a few days when I recoup.

Keep up the great work Mike.


Hugs Michele

1864
Thanks for your kind response Mike.
I'll submit 3 songs but I'm a little confused about the code?
I've placed it on top here. If it's wrong, please correct me.
The 3 songs are more pop style, but they are only first attemts.
My goal is to redo them all.

Greetings fro Denmark
Ken

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=55851

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=76022

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=76023

Mike,
First, I'd like to add my thanks to the others' to you for doing this. I've been following all the submissions and your responses.
It's a pretty broad range of material, and having one person who knows what he's talking about look at all of them is kind of like a "speed dating" version of what Harriet Shock and Pat and Pete Luboff were doing for a while. Very good insights.

I'd certainly agree about the vocal -- there's a studio story behind winding up with this version -- I think of it as the "dewey" or "moist" take.

Anyway, the original idea was to have a simple melody in the chorus and make the hook there instrumental. I had a great mandolin player lined up, but it didn't work out. So I was thinking of having a cross-picking guitar part like the intro (I can do that myself).

But I think your idea of, as I understand it, kind of making the chorus its own composition so it can be attached to any of the verses makes better sense.
So at least a new melody and maybe a new chorus it is.

I did have a technical question. Would I generally submit the different versions you were talking about, or is it more to get an idea of what works the best?
Thanks again,
Rich

Hi there Mike,

Well....in the context of this thread and what you are trying to do for all of us here....could you check out Dance In The Rain (currently on this forum)? Here is a link to my soundclick. On that site you can hear both the original G/V and also the demo version. Thanks so much. Lyrics are on the song page on soundclick as well.

http://www.soundclick.com/janicehopkins

Jan

Mike,

I just saw this and really appreciate what you're doing and all the effort you're putting into it.

I have one suggestion that would make it easier for readers to follow along: Include the submitter's post and song link for each one of your response posts (you already did this just once or twice).

That way the reader will be able to listen to the track while reading your response. This is such a poplular thread and tracking down the submitter's post can be a lengthy process - especially when their user name and real name aren't the same! Anyway, here goes my shot...

___________

Mr. Knowitall
SubStudio
Today

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my demo of "Guitar Girl". I appreciate and am looking forward to any response you may have.

Best Regards,
Rick Willingham

LINK: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8230765

LYRICS - "Guitar Girl"

V1 - Wanna tell you a story 'bout a long time ago, me and Suzy (she's a friend of mine, she's a good friend don't you know):
I bought a guitar and I learned some chords; I played those chords 'bout ev'ry night, and then I learned some more. She's my girl, she's my girl.

V2 - I wanted the big time, out in Hollywood; I wanted to be a rock and roll star, like I always dreamed I could.
I packed my bags up and I grabbed my gear, I grabbed my Suzy and then I said "we're gettin' out of here". She's my girl, she's my girl.

Bridge - She's my girl, she's my little baby.
She don't say no and she don't say maybe.
She's my guitar, she's my little girl yea-a-a-aaaah!

V3 - We hit the big time, me and my guitar girl; playing here and a playing there, and playing all o'er the world.
We're like a freight train, rolling down the tracks; chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugging along, we ain't never turning back. She's my girl, she's my girl, she's my girl..

Thanks Ken

I'll get to these asap.

The code was fine Some record label and publishing people if they like your work and are enthused to hear more and are expecting your package will tell you to put there secret code on the envelope.

The very first time I ever sent out packages with cassettes of my songs, one slipped through at a Major Publishing/Label
Motowns!. I didn't know about "solicitation" so it should have been mailed back or tossed out like the others.
After being shocked to no end that the guy called my house and we spoke on the phone. According to him I was so close to something he could use, "a hit song" he said. He was literally deciding about it over the phone, he kept leaning back and forth and my heart was in my throat.

If i had even realized how rare this was then like i do know, I don't think I would have EVER hung up LOL

He didn't take the song, and couldn't put his finger on why, he had no advice or suggestions. He was new to that label and maybe hadn't developed a way to constructively crit the tunes yet.

Anyway he said, "Any songs you have, you send them to me anytime,
right down this code and put it on the envelope so it will come straight to me and not be lost or tossed". I'll get back to you
afterwards.

This guy was EXTREMELY cool. I sent another package but drifted
away from what he was looking for musically. He then left and went on to a bigger job change in the music biz.

I never forgot about that it was very cool, so I thought the code use in this thread would be a nice touch, to share that feeling in a tiny tiny way.

Thanks
Mike

Rich,

Thanks!It is a broad range, fortunately I listen, write, and produce in a pretty wide range of music. Also I can separate the things I prefer musically to see what is what, both business wise and the angle from which it comes from and goes to.
People get paid to find or sign hit songs, they say it's a hard job. As a job YES!Very!! That is why they are often so afraid and it seems nothing chandges for a long time. Then Musically NO!
I could spot hit songs all day and all night long, the good kind of the not so good kind.

Yes "speed dating" lol That's why I took the publisher/label approach to this thread,minus the critique and deeper suggestions. I NEVER got that from a major label. Just NO and a one or two sentence saying, "no" again

They would not have the time and or many would not have the know how to give such feedback. But mostly the time, your on your own.

But rather than focus on just song, lyrics mainly and song structure. I wanted go wider with sound,and shopping angles.

See you can have a song and an artist who - sings out of key,plays out of tune, does not pay attention to AB structure,and has lyrics either senseless and or simply childish

And they are on Major Network Television every single night on late night shows performing..... So how do you give any songwriter or artist/writer any real VALID reason why THEY can't!

Not easy at all... Once you get a sense of what that is all about you have to use your best judgment from there.
And say "Hey I wouldn't have signed them either" ")

On your question - I would submit the new changes, one to three if needed.
Make that "piece of song" both lyrically & musically so that I can just keep playing it round & round basically, and fit it to all my movies & shows. Well even 75% of them would be awesome.

Good Luck

Thanks
Mike

Hi Rick

Thanks!!! I forgot to hit the quote box on many of these responses. I''ll start doing that now for sure. Maybe after all is done do a new thread with just the song the submission and the letter back...

Thanks again, I'll get to your material asap

Mike

Larry
JPF MP3 Boards

Dear Larry

Thanks for the recent submission. Sorry to say that I'm pretty useless with songs without any music,so I can't make a fair assessment of "Fate Met Destiny" as a song.
On the lyrical aspect I did appreciate the work that when into it and see you have a nice story development here.

It is a styled story/tale song that would lead it to Country Music. "Fate Met Destiny" on the Country mainstream charts now?
I'm unsure, but without music that would be "definitely not"

Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Ellen Mosely
JPF MP3 Boards

Hi Ellen

Thanks for submitting. I liked this title,enjoyed a lot of clever lines and felt your groove throughout this song.

While everything about it was good nothing jumped out and took over. I feel it is just not hit song type material. If I had to lean the reason to anything in particular it would probably be the music. Just nothing really hooking enough aside from the heartfelt and sincere performance.

don’t ask me to change too much
baby, I’m not an automatic
I’m a three-speed trani with a worn out clutch

These were good clever lines and I appreciate that greatly.
I think the lyrics are workable but would maybe try something different with the music, melodies were nice but not sticking enough. Chorus almost had it, almost.

This was good solid writing and great title,a very impressive effort all around.

Thanks
Sincerely

Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC

Sharla Shore
MP3 Boards JPF

Hi Sharla

Thanks for your recent submission "Leavin You Behind"
Wanted to tell you it was nice to hear strong,good sounding demo.
I got into the guitars and rocking feel of the song.

while it makes a good get the people at the bar/club tapping there foot song, I regret that it's not a hit song candidate.
What the problem for me was it's just needed more substance lyrically and the musical layout was just a tad to common,typical in nature.

If you work with a blues based progression of this manner you put a lot of weight on saying something lyrically that really stands out more. Whether it's funny or sexier etc..
Also musically something a bit more unexpected happening in there many have helped. Stronger songs in general.

Again good demo and good live jam song to get the crowd bopping.
But we'll have to pass on this one.

Thanks
Sincerely

Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC