JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum It took me by Suprise

Hey guys!

I wrote this song a while back and have just found the recording we did of it. It's very rough and not finished yet.

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=9793264&q=hi&newref=1


It took me by Surprise

I was driving in my car with the radio on
listening and singing to my favorite song
when all of a sudden, it became so clear
as I looked at myself in the rear-view mirror

CHORUS
this is what I’m supposed to do
this is what feels right
I never would have guessed it, it took me by surprise

How could I have missed it
and pushed it all aside
not believing in myself, to busy trying to hide
well now I know that it’s my time, it’s my time to shine

CHORUS

Sometimes fear can stop you from following your heart
but all I know it’s time for me to make a brand new start

CHORUS

Hi Rockchick,

I like the melody for the song. I think lyrically though the story needs to be developed more. I suggest giving more details about what her dreams are about or what she'd like to do.

Good luck with it!

Carlos

Great chorus (and I enjoyed your singing!)
Now you have to put some verses to it . . . if you can write a chorus like that, the verses should be no problem.
Ott

Nice tune and, despite the poor quality of the recording, your voice sounds really good.

The structure seems to work well. The change of style at the end of the verse - the bridge - is nicely done and builds anticipation.

I played it twice but the audio appears to stop dead just before you get to the third verse - probably a change section?

I do agree with Carlos about the lyric. It works nicely with the music but the revelation we're led to expect doesn't quite arrive. Our anticipation is built but not fulfilled because we don't really find out what the 'it' or 'this' that you mention actually is. There's a reference to making a brand new start in the third verse, which we don't hear in the recording, so perhaps this is what you mean. But it would be great if this was made clearer.

It's a very catchy piece, though. Add that missing element and a lot of people will be singing along to this one.

Thanks for the feedback guys!

This was my first ever attempt at writing a song, so your compliments mean alot.

As for the story, it's about me, realising my purpose whilst singing along to a song. "Singing" is what i'm supposed to do.
If anyone has ideas for other lyrics that would tell the story better then I'm very open to suggestions...:-)

The last two lines ( which is the bridge)
Sometimes fear can stop you from following your heart
but all I know it’s time for me to make a brand new start

I haven't recorded on the demo as I wasn't sure how to incorporate it...

Any help would be very appreciated :-)

RC75