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néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39 |
JUBILATION - Hip Hop (Dance)
V1
I didn't even see you, coming from afar
You slipped right on in, under my radar
Gave me no time, to identify this emotion
Before I knew it, I was drowning in pulsations
CHORUS
Bubbling up through my body, a sense of jubilation
Filling me up with feelings, full of anticipation
The acoustic sounds of our beating hearts
Saying, that, we will never be apart
Giving all the love, I have to give, is easy
‘Cause I know, that it’s coming back to me
Love is slipping through my body frame
Fizzing up, like bubbles of champagne
V2
Feelings invading all our senses
Hearts flexing, ready for the offensive
Knowing, without a doubt
We are ready, for our love bout
CHORUS
Bubbling up through my body, a sense of jubilation
Filling me up with feelings, full of expectations
The acoustic sounds of our beating hearts
Saying, that, we will never be apart
Giving all the love I have to give is easy
Cause I know that it’s coming back to me
Love is slipping through my body frame
Fizzing up like bubbles of champagne
V3
Trembling at the sounds of our names
We’re coming back into our own game
Lost in the sounds of our beating hearts
Hypnotised by the bliss taking part
CHORUS
Bubbling up through my body, a sense of jubilation
Filling me up with feelings, full of expectations
The acoustic sounds of our beating hearts
Saying, that, we will never be apart
Giving all the love I have to give is easy
Cause I know that it’s coming back to me
Love is slipping through my body frame
Fizzing up like bubbles of champagne
(c) Shirley Dwyer 2011
It's never too late to try something new.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,339 Likes: 6
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,339 Likes: 6 |
Evening Shirl.
First of all I want to say welcome to JPF. Do not think I have had the pleasure.
Second of all I do not know if you are familiar with the tv show, "How I Met Your Mother" but one of the running themes is the characters trying to find each others Doppleganer and I believe that I found one in you and a co-worker/friend of mine. The picture you posted as your avatar looks very much like her.
Anyhow to your lyric.
I have no "nits" from Canada. The flow is easy enough to grab onto and "sing", the story is simple and universal enough to understand and you have put your character in a positive light.
All good points in my opinion.
Thanks for sharing.
Douglas
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39 |
Thanks Douglas appreciate that.
I love the show How I Met Your Mother and it seems that I have one of those faces that look familiar to a lot of people. I've even had a group of people become offended when I kept telling them I wasn't who they thought I was.
Thanks for the comments
Cheers
Shirl
It's never too late to try something new.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Hi Shirl and welcome.
Like to say I'm not a great fan of Hip Hop and dance music in general but I can appreciate a good lyric which I can see here.
Hope you continue to post and get to know some of the members. You'll get plenty of support.
Regards
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39 |
Good morning Travis
And thank you for your kind words very Much appreciated. Brand new at sharing my lyrics and also brand new at writing as I only started 3 years ago.
Cheers
Shirl
It's never too late to try something new.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Shirl,
This piece is full of energy -- I enjoyed it!
Lisa
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,462 Likes: 47
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,462 Likes: 47 |
Shirl,
Welcome to JPF. It's nice to meet you. I like the story. I like the flow. One little nit though. The reference to a "love bout" didn't resonate well with me. I can't imagine two lovers fighting each other for love... At least that's the impression that I get.
Thanks for sharing this. I like where it's headed!
As always, KoS.
Peace,
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003 Likes: 1 |
Shirl--
Welcome to our little world--Isn't it a miracle we can communicate so far away with other songwriters?
I haven't written Hip-Hop, but a little of everything else--Your song reads well--but you'll have to put it to music and give us a TASTE!
Good luck with your work here--lots of talent on this site.
Later,
Mackie
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 39 |
Lisa & Mackie
Thank you Lisa & Mackie for your words of encouragement. It means a lot.
Dave
Thanks also to you Dave for your words of encouragement and for asking the question on the use of the words "love bout".
Simply meant, that we are all looking for happiness and love and when you meet someone who makes the heart flutter there is also that little bit of fear, of needing to make compromises to go from one to two. For me the two words explain that faster than I just did here.
I have to say that I now feel more comfortable in sharing my lyrics.
Thanks guys
Shirl
It's never too late to try something new.
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