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néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Here's another one from Di and me. I wrote the lyric and music for this when I was in California recently. Di offered some great suggestions to improve the lyric. That's her voice lilting over the music and me on the 6-string acoustic. Thanks so much for the listen! Di & Al http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11098638"You" © 2011 Alan D. David, BMI / Diana Bowers, BMI (v1) You, light up my stars at night You, make everything so right I don’t know what I’d do If you ever went away (v2) You, lift my spirits high You, can always make me sigh I pray to God each night You’ll always want to stay*** CHORUS If you ever said goodbye I don’t know what I’d do There would be nothing left Of me without you GUITAR INSTRUMENTAL (v3) You, are the life in me You, set my spirit free Without you I’d never be The woman I’ve become (v4) You, will never know how much You, can thrill me with your touch It’s like magic when we kiss When our hearts melt into one*** REPEAT CHORUS
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Joined: May 2010
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Al and Diana,
I love the music on this, what a great atmosphere.
Diana...still loving your voice..I love how you sing the meaning of the words and I love your phrasing, I only found one spot in the second chorus of resting on "be".
maybe phrase it
There would be nothing.....left
or
There would......be nothing left
just a suggestion, but I am so carried away by the sweet music and sound of Diana's voice, I love how she makes her vocal an art.
Tammy
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Al,
I can hear this in a nightclub with a piano with Di singing as she strolls through the audience singing to various men. Kind of weird right?
I have a little trouble with the lyrics though. I know "you" is the title of the song but is a word that is used to much!
Maybe set up a verse or two with how SHE feels and then resolve it in the chorus with "you...". I think it would be cool to have a little more contrast in there.
The other thing is that the words are pretty worn out/cliche. "stars at night"
"everything so right"
There are others but those two are my least favorite for what it is worth.
This recording had way less distortion. Good job with the guitar too. Sounds very clean.
Ricky
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you two lounge lizards got it goin' on!!! I like it,yeah!
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YOU..got a Good Song a-Goin', SideGuy & Di!
Sounds like Guitar-Master meets Phrase-Master here...with Great Results.
Nicely-Done!!!
Good Luck with it,
Best Wishes & Big Hugs
Stan
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one can feel the love in this one, such a sweet tribute to Di for...LOL~~~MFB III
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Very cool song with a classic feel, Al. I flashed back to Doris Day singing this in a movie - but I can see Ricky's vision too.  Everything is working here - melody, lyric, vocal and arrangement. Ricky might be right on some of those lines but I like 'em - it's part of what makes it sound like a classic to me. Depends on what you want to do with it, I reckon. Cool to see you re-energized like this. Man, with Di's vocals and co-writing abilities, you must be like a kid in a candy store right now. Scott
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David,
I have been thinking about my comments since I left them. The more I thought about it the lyrics are probably right where you want them to be especially for this genre. I still think my suggestions were valid BUT I can really see a woman looking/pointing at men in a lounge and singing this. I think it is perfect for that! (can see it in a movie scene too!)
Ricky
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Definitely a feel-good song Alan. It made me feel good. This would make a good theme to a romantic TV series ala "Love Boat". Singing, lyrics, and music work perfectly together. Good job! Best, John
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Al and Di--
I really like this song--It's one that I can dance to--Keep DOING YOUR LATIN THING!
Later,
Mackie
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Guess I'm the villain here. You've gotten good reviews from the others, I'm just critiquing the lyric because my player is not currently working.
The key to getting noticed in the biz is to create something different, something that stands out.
These lines all sound familiar to me...plus it's got a one-word common pronoun for a title. Needs a lot of specific imagery to work, IMO. Good luck with it.
Last edited by R. Shayne Vaughan; 10/09/11 06:54 AM.
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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Tammy...
Hi! Thanks for stopping in. And thanks for all the kind words!!!
Diana is a free-style singer...never sings a song the samne way twice. It just comes out as it does. We made three cuts on thisone and this was the best vocal. She will always have some little quirkas in her vocal presentation! i find it imnteresting because I never know what I'm going to get from her until she finishes singing!!!
She is totally delighted to read your comments...thank you for those very sweet words about her vocals...I agree with you!
All the best and a few hugs...
Al & Di
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Ricky, regarding both comments:
First, thanks for taking a few minutes to listen and offer your comments...we really appreciate that. Our intent was keep this old-style...from the 60's. So, those cliche lines don't really bother us, as they would in mnost songs. Somany songs back then were compendiums of cliches! But, should we ever want to make it more contemporary, your thoughts and suggestions are right up front with us! We thank you for them!!! All the best...
Al & Di
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Michael...
We lizards are liking what you're saying, too! Thanks so much!
Al & Di
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Stan-meister!
Hey, Buddy...so good to hear from ya!!!!!!
We're tickled silly you like it!...and thankis for letting us know. Hope you and la Femme are doing fine...all our best to both of you! Sideguy hugs...
Al & Di
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MFB...
Ah, thank you...glad it's working for you. I wrote this while I was in California last month and she was back in Tennessee. Thanks for the kind visit!
Al (and Di)
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Scott...
Always a delight when you drop in on me/us. Glad it works for ya! And yeah, very lucky, I am! Di could sing the nutruion label from frozen food and make me swoon! Thanks!!! Oh, BTW, she loved the Doris Day reference...one of her faves from years back...mine, too!
Al (& Di)
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John...
Why thank ya, my friend...gald it's taking a liking to ya! We sure appreciate the visit and kind words! All the best...
Al (And Di)
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Mackie...you can dance with Di if you'd like...I'll pass... Ha! Glad it sticks to your musical ear! And don;t worry, we have a few more Latin tunes to finish!!! Thanks again!
Al (& Di)
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Shane...
Couldn't find anything villianous in those words! Your point is well-taken. We were trying to keep it in the context of the time (late 50's, early 60's), so we went to the style that wqas common back then...simple and sweet, damn the "rules"! Lyrics, as a a general rule, weren't as insighhtful and developed as they are these days...just say like everyone else does...just sing it on key! I should have made mentuion of all rthat when I posted...my bad!
Thanks again!
Al (& Di)
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Al and Diana, fantastic song! There is sure love in the air!
I can picutre your song in a movie, family saga, documentary, in gigs, in restaurants, in weddings receptions... Beautiful, kind, uplifting and unforgettable. When it finished I immedietely wanted to hear it again. Thank you both for the pleasure of listening!
Nadia
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