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Nothing
by JAPOV - 04/27/26 10:49 AM
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WHEN?
by JAPOV - 04/23/26 11:28 PM
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Joined: Jun 2011
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In the Real World.6th Rewrite. Collab Travis & John Voorpostel
She once believed love should be like a children's fantasy
Girl meets boy, lives forever in a cottage by the sea.
The kind of world where goodness always wins out over bad
and prince charming wipes away the tears whenever she is sad
In the real world, life's not like a picture book
In the real world, Peter Pan's like Captain Hook
In the real world, the good die young, songs are sung
but you won't see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the real world one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
There's a risk in standing still and a risk in passing through the door
Life without a risk is life without any reward
So it wasn't lack of trying, but she always broke her heart
Deep inside she became twisted, love always has a cost
In the real world, life's not like a picture book
In the real world, Peter Pan's like Captain Hook
In the real world, the good die young, songs are sung
but you won't see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the real world one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
Br1
Lord knows where she is at now, her mail's returned to sender
Sometimes the only thing that's left's to give up and surrender
The rumours say she's really gone, that she's left it all behind
Just another one of many million stories of a life
From the real world, life's not like a picture book
In the real world, Peter Pan's like Captain Hook
In the real world, the good die young, songs are sung
but you won't see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the real world one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
Br2
The real world's never right or wrong, but you must balance where you bend
So when you compromise you must be sure to take a stand
In the real world, life's not like a picture book
In the real world, Peter Pan's like Captain Hook
In the real world, the good die young, songs are sung
but you won't see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the real world one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
-----------------------------------------------------------------
In the Real World 5th rewrite
v
She believed love should be like a children's fantasy
Girl meets boy, live forever in a cottage by the sea.
The kind of world where goodness always prevailed over bad
and prince charming wiped tears away whenever she was sad
Chorus
In the Real World, life's not like a picture book
Peter Pan just don't beat guys like Captain Hook
In the Real World,the good die young, songs are sung
but you won't see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the Real World one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
v
She looked like the pain dominating her life
abused by her father blamed for the death of his wife
despite this she tried hard to please him because
deep inside she was twisted and love has a cost
b
She once found a lover and thought paradise
was within her grasp but it came with a price
Lord knows where she's gone now, she's left him behind
One of a million lost souls that are stories of life
Chorus
In the Real World, life's not like a picture book
Peter Pan just don't beat guys like Captain Hook
In the Real World,the good die young songs are sung
but you wont see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the Real World one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
----------------------------------------------------------------
This is the 4th rewrite of a lyric I had on the forum a few months ago.
I've deleted the third verse on this rewrite
In the Real World
v
She believed love should be like a children's fantasy
Girl meets boy, live forever in a cottage by the sea.
The kind of world where goodness always prevailed over bad
and prince charming wiped tears away whenever she was sad
Chorus
In the Real World, life's not like a picture book
Peter Pan just don't beat guys like Captain Hook
In the Real World,the good die young songs are sung
but you wont see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the Real World one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
v
Understandin' the pain she's had in her short life
abused by her father blamed for the death of his wife
Did my best to protect her loved her all I could
The strong winds came she stood on a foundations of wood
b
She left me this mornin'found the note on the bed
tried to love you, don't come lookin' for me it said
Lord knows where she gone,hope she finds peace of mind
but forgot to remember 'bout the heartbreak she's left behind
Chorus
In the Real World, life's not like a picture book
Peter Pan just don't beat guys like Captain Hook
In the Real World,the good die young songs are sung
but you wont see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the Real World one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
Last edited by Travis david; 10/29/11 12:32 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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I like this-especially the chorus-the verses seem a bit long to me, but it is hard to tell without the music.
Cindy
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Hi Cindy
Yes it is a bit wordy but it sings OK. Not sure what genre it'll fit though.
Thanks for looking
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Nicely-Done, Brother Trav'!
It's Sad, a bit Cruel, but It's Real!
"KUDOS" Amigo..& Good Luck with it!
Best Wishes& a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
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Travis, enjoyed the read. Wonder if the title might be too closely associated with Alan Jackson's "Here In The Real World". Suggestions /comments below, keep or sweep  She believed love should be just like a children's fantasy and prince charming wiped tears away when ever she was sad
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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HI Stan
Thanks for looking at it and giving it the OK
Regards
Travis
Hi Shayne
I'm a Alan Jackson fan so I do know In the Real world. I get your point, but the lyrics are completely different. I have used your two suggestios on changes thanks for them.
Regards
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Love the song...hate the story, far too often told in the ink of tears and the wails of dismay. superb write.~~~~MFB III
In the Real World
v
She believed love was like a child's fantasy
Girl meets boy, live forever in a cottage by the sea.
A Real world where goodness prevailed over bad
and Prince Charming wiped her tears each time she was sad..
Chorus
In the Real World, life isn't a picture book
Peter Pan never beats up guys like Captain Hook
the good they die young, and then sad songs are sung
but you won't hear the bluebirds come flocking to sing
in the Real World... broken hearts don't mean anythin'
v
Understanding the pain she shared in her short life
abused by her dad, blamed for losing his wife
Did my best to protect her, loved her all that I can
through her tears floods, she stood on foundations of sand.
b
She left me this mourn..found her note on the bed
"Tried to love you, but failed, don't come lookin.." it said
Lord knows where she's gone, hope she finds peace of mind
like I've lost in the heartbreak that she left behind
Chorus
In the Real World, life isn't picture book
Peter Pan never beats up guys like Captain Hook
the good they die young, and then sad songs are sung
but you won't hear the bluebirds come flocking to sing
in the Real World... broken hearts don't mean anythin'
Just some lyric suggestions...use em or lose em...LOL~~MFB III
Last edited by MFB III; 10/28/11 11:38 AM.
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Thanks MFB
Usual rewrites etc so I'll take a look at your suggestions on this.
Thanks for your comments
Regards
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Yeah, I like this too Travis..but I think it's still a work in progress. Maybe stick to the "theme" a bit more...?? You start off with "it's about her" and finish with "it's about me"..
Just to illustrate what I mean
In the Real World
v
She believed love should be like a children's fantasy
Girl meets boy, live forever in a cottage by the sea.
The kind of world where goodness always prevailed over bad
and prince charming wiped tears away whenever she was sad
Chorus
In the Real World, life's not like a picture book
Peter Pan just don't beat guys like Captain Hook
In the Real World,the good die young, songs are sung
but you won't see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the Real World one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
v
She looked like the pain dominating her life
abused by her father blamed for the death of his wife
despite this she tried hard to please him because
deep inside she was twisted and love has a cost
b
She once found a lover and thought paradise
was within her grasp but it came with a price
Lord knows where she's gone now, she's left him behind
One of a million lost souls that are stories of life
Chorus
In the Real World, life's not like a picture book
Peter Pan just don't beat guys like Captain Hook
In the Real World,the good die young songs are sung
but you wont see the bluebirds comin' out to sing
in the Real World one more broken heart don't mean anythin'
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Thanks for your suggestions John, most helpful.
Regards
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Travis david,
It is definetly getting there. Hope to hear the music to this soon. Yeah, it is wordy but it sang good for me also.
Kyrk
I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. (Daniel Boone)
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Thanks for your comments Kyrk.Maybe get the music sorted in the near future.
Regards
Travis
MFB
Gave his take of the lyric which I liked. Then John came along and suggested a different angle which I have taken on.
Thanks for that John
Last edited by Travis david; 10/28/11 06:22 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Travis,
This is a heart wrencher -- nice one!
Lisa
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Thanks Lisa will be posting the rewrite soon too
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jun 2011
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This 6th rewrite was done by John V he's added a 2nd Bridge and a few more ideas too.
Comments welcome Travis & John
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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