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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,528
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,528 |
I like the melody and the conversational lyric. It took me a minute to figure-out the hook. Initially, I thought the "you" was a woman he was singing about and that basically she was moving slowly toward him, hence the "other women" were walking by faster and faster..and he was noticing them less. Then I realized he was referring to himself. Duh..
So I'm wondering if it should not be "the slower I get?" Or perhaps I'm the dumbest person alive and am the only person who did not figure this out. That's entirely possible!
Overall, I thought this was very good. I hear you totally on the recording stuff. I have very little time and money too and it requires both to really get great sounding audio, if you want more than a simple guitar/vox. I would suggest a guitar or piano/vox only for this anyway because it's very strong and I tend to enjoy these "slice of life" songs that way. I guess that's just a personal thing but I think maybe it has more emotional impact for me.
Good luck on the song quest. Thanks Wendy for your time on this. I was aware of the changing of POV from verse and chorus. The songwriting books say that is a no no, but I hear too many songs where that rule is broken. I think the chorus becomes it's own bit, going from the personal in the verse to the general in the chorus. And if the listener only focuses on the chorus, they have a little ditty for themselves. I could say the slower I get, but it dont seem to ring right for me, the slower you get, seems more like an expression. Just might be my ear. I like it stripped down, but I also would like to hear it blown up. Will be taking a bit of a break for a while, so I will be ironing out the kinks while on hiatus
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