Thanks for the listen and I appreciate your thoughts on this song. I actually came up with the chord progression for this song first and then recorded it while I just randomly sang whatever came to mind ... I took what I sang and used almost 80% of it to create the version that I sang on this recording.
Originally Posted by avweek
I thought the pace of this gave the song a very cool vibe overall. I liked the guitar work as well. I thought that lyrically some of the lines didn't quite fit, and felt hurried and rushed when you were singing them. I think it would be helpful go through all the lines and cut any unnecessary syllables out to help the song flow better overall. One of the lines that stuck out the most was "Some day there's gonna be a reckoning and when that day comes/and all this pain will be gone" and all the equivalent lines earlier in the song.

Overall, though, I thought this was a really cool start. Good stuff, and good luck with it!

Kyle

https://www.reverbnation.com/jimmyfleming4

or

https://soundcloud.com/j-fleming-2