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Lagoons
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/17/26 01:34 AM
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Söndörgő
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/17/26 12:01 AM
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Bayside
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/16/26 01:51 AM
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Diverge
by Michael W. Brown - 09/14/26 03:50 PM
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Pictures
by CTthomas - 09/13/26 07:10 PM
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 37
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 37 |
Shayne:
Good write. I like the idea that the boy is a victim of a regrettable circumstance that he can't understand yet. In the bridge, maybe you could paint the picture more clearly that it was the fault/responsibility of both Mom and Dad. I came away from the bridge feeling like Mary had walked out and was the "bad guy" in this situation. Maybe also try substituting 'mommy' for 'Mary' - that might keep it more focussed on the perspective of the boy.
Best of luck,
D
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