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<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by matt986:
I have been reviewing songs for a few hours now, and I have to honestly say this is one of the best songs I have read..anywahere. I got shivers down my spine when I read this. I pictured the music as being an acoustic feel, sung by a baratone with a really low, ringing tone to his voice. Here is why this song takes the cake (or pie, or ice cream, or any other desert I could really go for right now)

1)The rhyming scheme is eprfect. Nothing sounds forced, everything flows really well.

2)"I grab him up and hold him tight
Turn my head so he won't see Daddy cry
It always breaks my heart in two
When I look in his Innocent Eyes"

By refering to these two lines, you bring the audience back to the most important part of the song..the innocence in a child's eyes. Absolutely well done.

3)Verse 2
Verse two sealed the deal for me. You really express the innocence of a child, especially with these two lines,
"Then he asks, "Why can't Mommy go?"
"'Cause he's too young to understand why"

4) the bridge was very well done. However, if there was a weak part in this amazing piece of art, it would be the bridge. Here si a suggestion, just to increse the emotional atmospohere..You could have people in tears at this point if you present this correctly,

"I'll tell him the story someday
Why Mary chose not to stay
Her lonely nights were too long
My working late was hitting home
When he's older then he'll see
What he really means to me
I hope someday, he'll understand
I'm not a god, I'm just a man"

Wow....i don't know, to me, adding that last four lines, especially


"I hope someday, he'll understand
I'm not a god, I'm just a man"

really adds to the suffering the father is going through, and the pain he feels when he looks into his son's eyes.

5)Verse three was just as incredible as verse 1 and 2.

I think a lot of people here, especially me, can learn a lot from lyrics as well planned and thought out as these are. Awesome work.

If this is a true story, You sone has a very special father.

I don't know much about being a dad, i am still a few years away from that, but I do know that this is a great song. Congrats.</font>


Wow...what can I say? Thanks for the tips and the incredible review!!

This is a true story; this happened when my son was only 1 1/2...it has a happy ending in real life. After four years of being divorced, we resolved our differences, got back together, and raised our son. He will be 18 next month. [Linked Image]

I recently improved the lyric, from its original 1990 inception. I made a demo back then, but didn't get a copy of the music only track, so I need to re-record this.

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