Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by davek:
In the bridge, maybe you could paint the picture more clearly that it was the fault/responsibility of both Mom and Dad. I came away from the bridge feeling like Mary had walked out and was the "bad guy" in this situation.</font>


Dad's fault was that he worked late too much [Linked Image]

Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
Maybe also try substituting 'mommy' for 'Mary' - that might keep it more focussed on the perspective of the boy.</font>


The story is not told from the boy's perspective; that's why I chose to use Mary instead of Mommy, except in the boy's quote.

Thanks for the read!

------------------
http://shayneman.proboards19.com/

[This message has been edited by shayneman (edited 08-23-2004).]

[This message has been edited by shayneman (edited 08-23-2004).]

[This message has been edited by shayneman (edited 08-23-2004).]

http://www.myspace.com/shayneandfriends