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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 465
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 465 |
Sonny, great song here. I only see one very small nit. You use a lot of "near rhymes" nothing wrong with that. But I think it would be even better to tighten up the rhyme scheme. I know thats not always easy to do but any time that you can have a perfect rhyme, thats always better. I'm sure you could say the same of some of my work.
Very compelling song
Rob
[This message has been edited by palidin (edited 09-24-2004).]
Robert
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