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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,069 Likes: 103
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,069 Likes: 103 |
Hi Gary, I've listened to both versions now several of times and yes, your modifications made a big difference. Your version does have a greater commercial value. I did make some minor changes though. I added a 4th line to the bridge. I think the rhyme scheme works better with a 4th line. I hope you agree. And, in the outro I switched to the "i" instead of the "you". You changed everything to "I" except the outro . I assume that was a mistake, so I changed that section to match the rest of the lyrics. The final version can be found here: https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14900497
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