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RT .23
by bennash - 05/17/26 03:00 PM
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HER TOWN
by Fdemetrio - 05/14/26 10:26 AM
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....
by bennash - 05/14/26 10:03 AM
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....
by Fdemetrio - 05/13/26 06:53 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,806
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 11,806 |
Howdy Buzz,
I think your basic hook is awesome but the arrangement of the thoughts and rhymes in the verses did present a perplexing situation for me too. I spent a bit of time with it, trying to see outside the box you had painted yourself into. Here are some observations. When you are struggling with a particular rhyme, it often works to switch the lines around and use a different thought for the rhyme. You are right in thinking that you are quite limted with rhymes for girl. So in this case I tried to used a different thought for the rhyming line. Did some extensive overhaul here but see if any of these thoughts can get you a new perspective to work with.
When you both like THE SAME girl Does your friend always win Does he have the cosmetic appeal That makes you envious OF HIM NEW VERSE II When you both, join the crowd Do the women all check him out You CLEAN UP GOOD but what the heck IT LEAVES YOU IN NO DOUBT
CHORUS You need an Ugly Friend That’s the only way to win (drop always) You need an Ugly Friend So they’ll look at you Instead of him
WHEN YOU WANNA GO CHASIN’ PRETTY girls DON’T INVITE HIM TO GO ALONG WITH YOU Cause YOU KNOW THAT IF HE GOES You’ll just be SINGIN’ THOSE UGLY FRIEND BLUES BRIDGE Now I know this doesn’t sound MUCH like A friendship that’ll be true But why the hell, do you think Your friend hangs around with you
The core concept of this is so good you need to keep after this till it sparkles.
Good luck, Bobbie
They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you. Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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