Couch was explaining his dislike of “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” recently at another site. The stupid song then got lodged in my head...and soon gave way to this goofy take off.

She Thinks My Protractor’s Sexy
©2001 Corey Parkman
(parody of Kenny Chesney’s “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”)

v.1
Checkin’ test scores in the cool office air
When my baby walks in, Lordy lookee there
with pimento cheese spread and a 2 liter of ginger ale
She pulls up a seat and I whip it on out
What she came here to see, honey, there’s no doubt
Just look at her face, it ain’t that hard to tell

Chorus
She thinks my protractor’s sexy
It really makes her hot
She says she likes my angles, I like her curves a lot
She likes the way I measure to exact degrees
Yeah, she really loves my geometry
She’s the only one who proves my lovin’ theory
She thinks my protractor’s sexy

v.2
I check every inch till it’s time to go home
I put away my tool and it makes her moan
Honey, you’ve spent all day looking over increments
She reaches her hand down into my drawer
Says she wants to see me use it some more
“Let’s stay here all night and check each other’s measurements”

She thinks my protractor’s sexy
It really makes her hot
She says she likes my angles, I like her curves a lot
She likes the way I measure to exact degrees
Yeah, she really loves my geometry
She’s the only one who proves my lovin’ theory
She thinks my protractor’s sexy

Bridge
Well she ain’t into compasses or even slide rules
But a plastic semi-circle makes her drool

She thinks my protractor’s sexy
It really makes her hot
She says she likes my angles, I like her curves a lot
She likes the way I measure to exact degrees
Yeah, she really loves my geometry
She’s the only one who proves my lovin’ theory
She thinks my protractor’s sexy
She thinks my protractor’s sexy
She thinks my protractor’s sexy


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There's no one so annoying as someone with more common sense than you, but less intelligence.
-unknown

http://www.edparkonline.homestead.com/Home.html

Humor blog: http://www.farcethemusic.com
Songwriting: http://www.myspace.com/coreyparkmansongwriter