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néomí
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 329
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 329 |
Kaley,
Very, VERY nice! I would make two suggestions (without listening)
1: "Overshadowing (HIS or our) sorrow"
2: "He looked beyond agony
Beyond our sinful history" (since "eternity" is unending this
will cause a mental conflict for some of the more carnal
listeners) This line gives detractors an oxymoron to point out
in our "foolish, superstitious" beliefs if you get my drift.
This is a beautifully written lyric.
Wayne
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