I really did. I saw an ad for a bookstore clerk and I thought it would be great. I called them up, had a nice conversation and was hired over the phone. I was crushed when I realized what it really was, but too broke and too suddenly fascinated to walk away. I was never a porn fan, but I was always a people watcher, and this place was like another world. So I worked it awhile. There were dancers there who loved me because I never wanted to see their shows in that back room with the windows, never hit on them, even helped them with their college homework. I saw the dark side of people...the poor, seedy ones with the discoloration around their eyes...gamblers get that look, too...and also the well-dressed gentlemen, judges and businessmen, cops. I remember macing a guy who tried to rob me with an implied gun in his jacket.

I finally got the hell out of there. But bad as that was, it was better than telemarketing. Couldn't do that one, never made it through the first day.

In one of my first restaurant jobs, I spilled an entire 5-gallon bucket of pancake batter on the cooler floor. Ever try to mop up pancake batter? Don't.