Here is a rewrite:
The Sun Over Sinner's Bridge
© 2008 Brenda McBryde

Went to say his last prayer that night on Sinner's Bridge
His head and a bottle in hand hung over the edge
Because of all the empty bottles and empty affairs
She never knew how much he really cared
She finally had her fill and left for good this time
He would finally drowned himself in wine

(chorus)
The sun over Sinner's Bridge
Shines a new light for those still standing on the edge
But in the darkness of so many nights
Before she has had the time to rise
There is a lonely splash into the depths
And so many souls who'll never rest
Another cross placed upon the ridge
Calling for the sun over Sinner's Bridge

As he stood there deep in thought a ray of light
Hit the bottle hard and shot right into his eyes
His hands went straight to his eyes to block the blazing glow
The splash he heard meant he'd let the bottle go
It was only half empty he wasn't ready
Not drunk enough to have the guts and angry

(chorus)
The sun over Sinner's Bridge
Shines a new light for those still standing on the edge
But in the darkness of so many nights
Before she has had the time to rise
There is a lonely splash into the depths
And so many souls who'll never rest
Another cross placed upon the ridge
Calling for the sun over Sinner's Bridge

(bridge)
He opened his eyes and white wings of a dove fluttered by
A sign to him on how to begin his life again
The only peace he'll find is to leave the bottle behind

(chorus)
The sun over Sinner's Bridge
Shines a new light for those still standing on the edge
But in the darkness of so many nights
Before she has had the time to rise
There is a lonely splash into the depths
And so many souls who'll never rest
Another cross placed upon the ridge
Calling for the sun over Sinner's Bridge






Not finished by any means with this, but I need to know if it is even worth working on. Is it just too "same old story"?

The Sun Over Sinners' Bridge
© 2008 Brenda McBryde

Because of all his empty bottles and affairs
She never knew how in his heart he really cared
And when she finally did leave
It brought him to his knees
A whole life drowned in wine
with no second chance in sight
He walked the plank called Sinners Bridge
His head and a bottle in hand hung over the edge

As the sun began to fight the dark
A ray of light hit the bottle hard
A spark shot right into his eyes



Darkness comes to an end
Thanks to the sun over sinner's bridge
The sun rises higher
Than the bridge towers over the water
Shining a light on the view
Helping to light the way for God's fallen few

His hands went to his eyes to block the blazing glow
When he heard the splash he knew he'd let the bottle go
It was his dawning moment
That Heavenly light sent
A subtle sign to him
On just how to begin
To walk away and live a new life
Leave the bottle behind and pick up The Bible each night

Last edited by Brenda152; 03/04/09 01:29 PM.