Brenda: I would start off with this line: "He walked the plank called Sinners Bridge" mainly because it is a strong visual and captures the imagination right away. The current starting lines are sort of "fluffy" (that's a technical term). Build the verse and story from there.

One problem though, a "plank" has an end and you walk off, but a bridge connects two things so you can cross over something. So you have a mixed metaphor that is going to be difficult to resolve.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh