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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3 |
Brenda: I would start off with this line: "He walked the plank called Sinners Bridge" mainly because it is a strong visual and captures the imagination right away. The current starting lines are sort of "fluffy" (that's a technical term). Build the verse and story from there.
One problem though, a "plank" has an end and you walk off, but a bridge connects two things so you can cross over something. So you have a mixed metaphor that is going to be difficult to resolve.
Kevin
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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