I know you write lots of tunes and you've got lots of fantastic stuff, but this isn't one of your best.

I agree that only v3 is funny, and really only the 3rd and 4th lines.

"terrorism" is a big word and the listener's head can go A LOT of unwanted directions when they hear this word. It didn't focus me personally at all.

I'm not sure all that many people are that familiar with an aneurysm. There's lots of different kinds of aneurysms. As a nurse I realize the 2 most threatening kinds are aortic and brain. My medical side wanted to know which kind Billy has, but my songwriter side wonders if the general listener even knows what an aneurysm is?

I actually think this tune might have some potential as a dark, alt.country piece. Take the position of a friend who just doesn't say anything right and just keeps making it worse... In that respect, I'd lose v3 and try to come up with something edgy and dark.

Sorry Bill. I know you meant this as something light but It's got a lot of shades of gray to my hearing.

I like the melody. It really singable... it's really accessible as a basic tune.

Peace,

Ian


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