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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Kyrk,
This is cute!
One line that struck me as sort of forced is "make my cholesterol good" -- I think I'd change that, but I'm not sure to what! Also, the "nutritional facts" like kind of struck me as needing something else too.
Thanks,
Lisa
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