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TV Drama
by Raymond Byabazaire - 08/31/26 09:46 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,924 Likes: 69
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 7,924 Likes: 69 |
I don't know right/wrong either. I just have an opinion. I could be very wrong.
Regarding the title, a title should stand out, should be very much the gist of the song. The word 'Promises' doesn't stand out, to me. There's a little bit of it in the verses, the 'oath', etc., but it's not a strong theme throughout the lyric.
The Chorus is weak, actually, not really an interesting making of some point to the whole song-story. The Bridge is weak too, in that regard. Keep it short. And, ideally, say something pivotal in the story-line, giving a finality to it. I cut the bottom two lines. You could cut the top two.
Don't try to keep it about your friend in reality. Make it a simple lost-love song, a fiction.
Again, not declaring 'right/wrong'; just opinions to stir the pot of your imagination.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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