Gen.... you are one of my fave writers on here cause you have such great ideas! I'm not sure if you intend to write commercially or not but i think you should seriously consider it! i have been at this awhile and though i've never been published, i have been close and am still trying. i assume your genre is country because your thoughts seem to lend themselves to that style of lyrics and i believe you could easily hear a song of yours on the radio one day! having said all that, i see no meter or set rhyme scheme in your lyrics. that tends to be important when you write for publishing because the listening audience likes a set pattern that is easy to remember and sing along to. i rewrote your first two verses and chorus to give you an example of what i mean, trying to stay true to your ideas yet structure them more "commercially". these are just my thoughts and remember, i am only trying to help you if you are considering doing this for possible publication in the country genre. if you aren't, just tell me to kiss your a** and leave you and your songs alone!!! :)))) scotty

that shopping cart holds everything she has
people look at her and they think how sad
if they only knew she's happy as them
her life ain't wasted, it's just different

she don't have a lot but she'll share it all
any scrap of food no matter how small
the coat off her back when it gets real cold
some dimes and nickles when those cans get sold

(Chorus)
she isn't homeless cause she has a home
she isn't lonely cause she ain't alone
she may be faceless but she has a name
to friends and Jesus she's the 5th street saint

notice every line has 10 syllables, that is meter. there is also a set rhyme scheme.... AABB. my lines are by no means perfect but i wanted to give you an example of what i mean with meter and rhyme. good luck with this one girl... SUPER potential!! scotty

Last edited by Richard Scott; 03/09/12 09:32 PM.
http://www.reverbnation.com/scottysongwriteronlyvariousmusicians#!/control_room/artist/1442425/songs

http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/Geauxcountrymusic

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