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Won’t Find John Deere Working There (Cotton & Vaughan)

v
You can barely grow crops on that darn harsh land
runs thru your fingers,it feels like sand
Made even worse from flash spring floods.
My folks hung tough cause it's in their blood

c
You won't find John Deere working there
We wanna buy from hin but there's nothing to spare
We borrow from neighbours and help our friends
But you won't find John Deere working there

v
Last year was the worst in our memory
Crops failed cause of water to our knees
My only relief was writing songs
I knew I had to get out before too long

You won't find John Deere working there
We wanna buy from him but there's nothing to spare
We borrow from neighbours and help our friends
But you won't find John Deere working there

v
I Told my folks that my time come
To Chase my dream with my best songs
Tough leaving mom but a wink and a tear, said
Maybe I'll come back and bring John Deere

b
nothing like being poor, to make emotions flow.
To write and sing about things you know

c
You won't find John Deere working there
We wanna buy from hin but there's nothing to spare
Just enough to feed us and lots of fresh air
But you won't find John Deere working there

Sounds fine to me either way, Neil. You could change it like the written lyric is or have it change each Chorus. I think this is my favorite of yours in any regard.

Stevie

Neil,

As far as having the lyrics vary somewhat with each chorus, I think you are ok with this arrangement to keep it that way with this ballad. If the song is a "strong chorus driven song" and the music and lyrics are "yearning" to return to the hook, then it's best to keep them the same lyrically--changing chorus lyrics works with some songs, others, not.

This song for me has the "music" almost "randomly" changing keys or sliding out of pitch in several places. It would be a challenge to sing the melody with this music as is. I'm not sure of your process, but to me it sounds like the music isn't consistently maintaining the correct key, making it difficult for you to remain on key.

I like the story and lyrics, but would look at the music processing for improvement.

steady-eddie.

Hey Neil...

Been a long time my friend....As usual, your story line is right up there...

great idea for a story-line....and saying it in a different, fresh way...

Good to hear ya again

Thanks Stevie...Without John there would be no song.

Steady-eddie
thanks for your critique of the music...I will need to redo the vocal...it is all in the key of D, so will consider your comments.

Steve
thanks for stopping by. the story was given to me by John. I massaged it and added the music, which may need to be revised.

Thanks Stevie for your thumbs up
Travis(JV)

Thanks Eddie for your views, I'm sure your points can be addressed
Travis(JV)

Thanks for your comments Steve
Travis(JV)

nice work you two!A good story as well.Mike

Pleased you liked it Mike, thanks for your visit
Travis

Hi Neil & Travis,

This is fun, watching it go through the process on forum 3, to hearing the finished product! You've got a real nice song here -- I enjoyed it!

Lisa

Hi Lisa
Thanks for your comments, pleased you liked this one.
Travis

bumped with revision

Hi Neil.

This is much better, especially the chorus and bridge--I'm getting the melody much better, and the last line of the chorus is a cool melodic change now--it was before, but music/vocals not in sync with the key.

The mix is still a little "busy" for me, especially the verses, but improved from your first post. I'd be curious to hear you just sing this with a guitar track along with maybe bass and percussion to "better nail down the melody, . Get it the best you can with those basic instruments--then add fiddle/mandolin gradually where needed. Maybe you did do this already--you have made improvements, but I think you can make it better still. I was listening to the verse music, and there are a few options there to take the melody vocally--experiment with all of your options, as it can be a good way to find or tweak a melody by combining two different directions. Feel free to bounce anything off me privately.

I'm excited for you Neil, I think you have some potential with this song!

steady-eddie.

Thanks for your input Eddie,what you say is valid I commented to Neil that the chorus and bridge sound better too.I also like the extra kick it has been given
I'm sure Neil will respond to your suggestions
Travis

Eddie, as always with me, it takes many passes at a song to make it the best it can be. Johnny Cash is quoted as saying he had to sing a song 100 times to make it his own.
Yes I added the busy instruments after singing against the drums, bass and guitar.
THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT. IT HAS NOT BEEN IGNORED.

I AM A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING SO MY MIXES CAN BE IMPROVED FOR SURE

Hey Neil,

I understand, and can appreciate that challenge with your hearing loss. As you say, and I do the same thing, it sometimes take many tries to get it right! If you ever need another "ear" or opinion, I'm available should you desire, feel free contacting me at anytime.

I have a song that I wrote called "Farming's Lot's of Fun." I haven't recorded it yet. It's a bit more light-hearted than yours, but kind of in the same area. Your song is kind of motivating me to "dust" it off and give it a go! Take care!

steady-eddie.

Thanks for your kind offer. All the best with your "dust-free" song. LOL

Trying a new drum track...slight remix.

Any more comments please???

OK, guys, you are getting a lot of feedback on the music part of this so I wanted to comment on the lyrics. I've done my share of work on a farm so here's what I got in the first 3/4 of the song. The family is too poor to own a tractor (John Deere) then you take off to become a star so you can buy them one. Am I close? If I am, and I know my way around a farm, I'm afraid you haven't been clear enough to those who haven't? This is a super idea and it needs to be expressed, only better maybe? :))) scotty

Not quite sure what part of it isn't clear Scotty, is it the JD itself?
I would say it's a very well known name,perhaps of iconic status? known to even city dwellers like myself living in the UK lol
Yes the lyric could be changed, there's always room for improvement and perhaps broaden the story.
it's great to get your comments and help which is much appreciated too.
I'm sure Neil will want to comment as well.
Regards
Travis

Scotty,
Thanks for stopping and offering your point of view. It is helpful.
I'm seeing the "riding on a John Deere" as a metaphor for his success, not to be examined too literally.Maybe that is too much to expect...there lies the rub.

Hey guys! I get the riding back in on a tractor as a metaphor for him making it. I'm not sure what I'm getting at? LOL Like I said, I understand what you're saying but something just seems amiss? Maybe the line, If it's money he wants, he needs to look elsewhere. Hell, I don't know.... :)))) scotty

He won't get rich selling tractors there

Hey Guys -- I had a random thought as I listened again...how about a funny little ending, with him riding up to the farmhouse, on his brand new John Deere, with his brand new guitar on his back, yelling at his ma to put on her Sunday best so he can take her to the nicest restaurant in town. And then end with something like, "John Deere DOES work here now!" -- Lisa

Thanks Lisa for the suggestion .


I have been thinking too.

Hated leaving mom but with a wink and a tear
Said I might return riding on a John Deere

Well it would probably work Lisa, but perhaps needing more verses to get the story over?
Definitely not dismissing the idea though.Thanks as always for your help
Travis

Hi guys,

I REALLY enjoyed my listen, very catchy.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

thanks Cal...very kind of you.

Loved the lyric, the story and the arrangement and the vocal did a nice job carrying the message. My only nit is the fact that I really wanted the third line in the chorus to end with the same rhyming sound as the others. Something like, "We borrow from our neighbors and what we have we share." I think it would have given the final line a little more emphasis but that's entirely a personal thing and takes absolutely nothing from the story which is excellent. I really enjoyed it.

Bobby...thanks for the props and your suggestion is a good one.

I Like This, Neil!! Musically, speaking, this is my favorite of yours.....the lyrics are pretty cool, as well.......love the hook!
Country on... -Tom

Tom...you started my day as good as any.
Thanks

I have to agree with Richard Scott about the lyrics.
Your explanation "He won't get rich selling tractors there" is way more straightforward and understandable than
"You won't find John Deere working there
if it’s money he wants, he should go elsewhere".
The verses do a pretty good job of telling your story, but the chorus is confusing (to me).
Remember...You know what you're thinking. The listener doesn't have that insight.

Kurt...thanks for this input...really much appreciated...nothings in stone.LOL

Stay tuned folks, a revision will be coming to JPF soon. LOL

In 2 or 3 days, have 2 days with golf as my priority, some work and some play.

Something keeps drawing me back -- lol!

I had a thought about that line in the chorus. What about something along the lines of:

You won't find John Deere working there
HE KNOWS YOU CAN'T HARVEST MONEY FROM A FIELD THAT BARE

Just a thought!
Lisa

Hi Lisa
I like your take and it could well work.I'll talk it over with Neil,when he gets through wasting his time in bunkers. lol
TRavis

Hey Lisa, Travis, & Neil,

To Lisa--

Your suggested lyrics rhyme and flow well, but my "take" was "they couldn't afford a John Deere tractor," that's why you won't see him working there. With that in mind, that's why you'll find him "elsewhere," such as the rich neighbors down the road. It's kind of like it's nice having an electric mixer to mash potatoes but if you can't afford the electric mixer, you have to mash them with a "hand masher."

Am I on the right track Neil/Travis? Maybe I'm not getting it.

All I know is I just mowed an acre of grass with a Torro, and had the John Deere line in my head the whole time! LOL.

steady-eddie.

Eddie you have it correct.

Hey Eddie, Neil & Travis,

Well, I didn't think that my suggestion contradicted that assessment! I thought of it as John Deere (well, really the salesman in my mind) passes them by because he (the salesman) knows he can't harvest (earn) money on fields that seem barren and reap no harvest anyway! So, he doesn't even try to sell his tractor there and goes elsewhere.

I thought I was on the same wavelength with this suggestion.....but now I'm SO confused -- LOL!

Lisa

Lisa you're right there too.
Hopefully we can make it crystal clear.

???
You won't find John Deere working there
With tractors to sell he should go elsewhere.
????

Lisa, relax, no one is picking on you....you are RIGHT if you are thinking of "John Deere" the "man," and not the company or brand of equipment which is where Neil is coming from. It's a "guy" thing, as we all played with toy John Deere's and some of us real tractors. So I apologize it you thought I was being condescending--I wasn't at all, I never thought that you were thinking of a literal man named John Deere. The real man, John Deere, was a mid-19th century man who got started making plows for farmers.

It's ok to be confused, I am most of the time!

steady-eddie.

Hey Eddie, et al. --

This is amusing! I wasn't thinking that anyone was being condescending at all, and I wasn't thinking of John Deere the man, except for the fact that, in a sense, the song does beg to think of him as an actual man! I get the whole John Deere thing...sounds like a man named John Deere, but we all know it's a tractor company and so John Deere IS the tractor....but....since that second line in the chorus talks about "it" (the tractor) wanting money ("if it's money he wants")...I took it one step further in my mind, thinking of John Deere as being representative of the John Deere salesman because, technically, of course, the tractor wouldn't be wanting money!

Oy! Laughing!

Lisa

I get you Lisa, thanks for explanation! We had better get out of their threads or they'll be asking us to leave and take our comments with us! Neil, is this a true story with your family? Rough times for farmers when the weather didn't cooperate.

steady-eddie. Now, Lisa, another thing.........jus kiddn!

Hi Eddie
I wrote the story.It's pure fiction but based on fact.I was reading about a farming family over here in the UK, working a small farm in the rugged Yorkshire Dales and struggling.So I adopted and adapted their story.
They wanted new farming machinery to get them through, but the bank wouldn't lend them the capitol,where have we heard this one before!
Thanks for your input all the way through this one.
Travis

Bumped
"FINAL revision", he said hopefully!!!
LOL