JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 She Don't Care .......lyrics

I'm not sure how to title this one. Here's my working list:
1) She Don't Care
2) She Don't Care That I Don't Care
3) She Don't Care That I Don't Care That She Don't Care
4) ?


SHE DON'T CARE

v1
When my baby called me I was puttin' on my coat.
I couldn't wait to take her out dancin' close and slow.
So, when she said she'd rather stay at home and wash her hair
Well, even a fool in love could see she didn't care.

v2
In my hurt and anger I thought I'd go insane.
Through quiet tears I searched for words to make her feel my pain.
In the hopes that what I told her might give that girl a scare,
I said, "Do what you want to do. I don't care."

Ch
But, she don't care that I don't care that she don't care.
If she did, she be with me right now, I swear.
Life's already tough enough.
And now it's plain unfair.
That she don't care that I don't care that she don't care.

v3
I thought I could make her see how much I meant to her.
Make her old feelings sometimes loneliness can stir.
Make her take a second look. Make her more aware
That she'd be the lonely one if I said I don't care.

Ch
But, she don't care that I don't care that she don't care.
If she did, she be with me right now, I swear.
Life's already tough enough.
And now it's plain unfair.
That she don't care that I don't care that she don't care.

Br
Hey! Maybe she was simply talking in her sleep.
Or, maybe she's a spy on a mission she must keep.
Or, maybe she was only playing Truth or Dare.
No. The truth is, ..she don't care.

v4
Well, I guess she had second thoughts and needed time away.
And boldly I made up her mind with what I had to say.
But, I won't spend my nights alone, 'cause I've got love to share.
Yeah, I'll be dancin' close and slow...as soon as I don't care.

Ch
That, she don't care that I don't care that she don't care.
If she did, she be with me right now, I swear.
Life's already tough enough.
And now it's plain unfair.
That she don't care that I don't care that she don't care.

Hi David.
This seems to have that old Music Hall look to it.
I don't know if that's what you intended but I can hear the audience joining in on the chorus.

If that's not what you intended then you could try switching the rhyming lines to 1,3 and 2,4 in the verses or chorus and maybe shorten in each verse, lines 2 and 4 to vary the meter.

Vic

Vic,

Thank you for your considered opinion. I will investigate changes along those lines.

I admit, anytime I can get audience participation, I'll take it.

Story:
In the late '70s I'd go to the San Diego Fair each summer to listen to a country cover band (Montezuma's Revenge, by name) that played on a side stage, next to a beer trailer. I didn't listen to country music, but they were so fun I enjoyed going and drinking, er listening.

Anyway, they always played "El Paso". At the parts of the song with the long drawn out word, like, "...wild as the West Texas wiiiiinnndd", they would encourage the audience to whoop it up. Great fun.

I also learned that if you have a fiddle in the band, you play "Orange Blossom Special."

Thanks Vic.

Dave

Hi Dave,

Something about this made me smile -- I could see it all playing out, with the misunderstandings and mental gymnastics that go on in relationships! Even though the guy is heartbroken, it's a very cute song!

I wonder if the girl in this song could be staying home to "color" her hair. This would, initially, make a woman listening to this think, "we'll, I can't blame her for needing to color her hair -- maybe this guy has it wrong." But then, we'd come to see that his instincts were right. (I would never try coloring my hair at home, but the friends I have that do it at home -- they really do make an unbreakable date with themselves to do it!)

Back when refrigerators didn't automatically defrost, my mom once told her boss that she was excited to get hime to defrost our refrigerator! She never heard the end of that at work -- LOL!

Lisa

Life is complicated, especially when it comes to love. LISA, at what moment did "relationships" take the place of marriages?

Hi Lisa,

Yeah, it was meant to be more cute than melancholy. It's fairly up tempo.

I hadn't considered coloring her hair. I did think washing was so blatant an excuse that she didn't care enough to make up a good one.

Thanks for appreciating the cuticity.

Dave

Hi Dave,

Heartreak aside, I thought this was a real knee-slapper. The last line of your chorus is classic!

That said, I think "She Don't Care" could be the title, because it has two meanings. It also makes the listener wonder what she doesn't care ABOUT.

The only tiny suggestion I have is in the first verse, where I might change SHE'D RATHER wash her hair to SHE HAD TO. By removing the decision to not see him as a PREFERENCE, he's left with at least a little ambiguity -- though of course it's a pretty standard excuse.

I did get a kick out of the Other Possible Explanations provided in the Bridge. Great use of the transition from Truth or Dare to the last line...

Good luck with this one, and thanks for sharing.
Beth

Hi Dave,

I like this one and it looks like you already have some good suggestions. I'm going to add mine in for what it's worth. For the title I like the simplicity of "She Don't Care". JMO.

The last line of your chorus (your main hook), is very gimmicky but I like it. At first I thought it a bit silly but it grew on me fast, and it's very catchy. That's always a good thing. With that being said I personally don't like all of the "that"s in the line. I would soften it up by saying perhaps (Cause she don't care, that I don't care, if she don't care.)

Very cool write!

David

Beth,

Thanks for the vote for #1. If I get one more I'll close the polls.

And thank you for settling the raging "rather vs had to" controversy. "Had to" it is.

I appreciate you stopping by to comment. It's been a long write. The bridge was the last piece. But, it worked out.

Thanks again,
Dave

David,

Okay, the polls are closed. "She Don't Care" has it. Aside: For fun, I sometimes try to distill my titles down to a one word version like the social media types like. "She"? or "Don't"? or "Care"? Just kidding. They'll have to "SDC" it.

So, I'm thinking of your "'cause" way. I agree it has merit. I'll be singing it in the shower for a couple of days to make sure.

Thanks for dropping in and leaving a note.

Dave

Howdy Dave, fun read but gotta agree with David on the that that that,& his solution fits the bill........Gus