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This is the first thing I've been able to write in almost two weeks... which feels like a lifetime... Thank you in advance. Tink

Endless Tears
Cindy Miller
© 2002

VERSE
The last rose petal’s fallen
And the truth has settled in
My friends have stopped calling
And I’m back at life again
Thank you’s have been signed
But they’re still not in the mail
I’m down to one cry a night
You’d think I’d drain that well

CHORUS
But these endless tears won’t dry
They just pause and pick up steam
So when I think a cry is over
It’s really only in between
I pray your memory sustains me
'Til I say my last good-bye
But for now it seems I’m drowning
Cause these endless tears won’t dry

VERSE
You’re still all around me
Bringing me comfort and yet
The way the pain surrounds me
I’d almost rather forget
Even though it’s been a while
Memories still break through
I’d give anything to smile
When I remember you

CHORUS
But these endless tears won’t dry
They just pause and pick up steam
So when I think a cry is over
It’s really only in between
I pray your memory sustains me
'Til I say my last good-bye
But for now it seems I’m drowning
Cause these endless tears won’t dry

BRIDGE
Someday it’s bound to end
And I’ll move on again
But baby, until then –

CHORUS
These endless tears won’t dry
They just pause and pick up steam
So when I think a cry is over
It’s really only in between
I pray your memory sustains me
'Til I say my last good-bye
But for now it seems I’m drowning
Cause these endless tears won’t dry


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If my heart doesn't feel it first, the words will never find the page...

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/thesoulwriter0


[This message has been edited by TINK (edited 10-18-2002).]

Hey, Tink... I've been MIA for a bit but had to check on on this one. It's really absolutely beautiful and so well said for a person with loss when life keeps going on. I loved the "in between" line and the way you doubled rhymed your chorus. Very moving, Tink.

I really like it - so take these as minor nits -

In a sad song about losing someone, I don't like the line "give my life" - maybe "I'd give anything ..." would fit.

I always find myself wishing for another verse or longer bridge before hearing the chorus a third time, particularly when there are repetitive lines in the chorus. Just personal preference - structure of an awful lot of successful songs doesn't agree with me.

Hey there Teri!

Good to see you... I've been a bit out of touch for a little more than a week, so we must have been on the same page. Thanks so much for the kind words regarding this lyric. I think the "in between" line is my favorite also.

This lyric was inspired by the death of someone close to me, so I'm glad you found it appropriate for the circumstance.

Thanks again,
Tink

Hi Marty,

originally I had "my right arm" in that spot, then I thought... for a person with such great loss, sometimes we wish to be "with" the person who's recently passed... even to the point we'd like to die ourselves. That is why I changed it. But after reading your critique, I have to say I totally agree with you.

And as far as the bridge goes, I wanted to keep it kinda short, cause I was singing this sorta slow and I figured it was already close to going over the magical three minute mark.

I sincerely appreciate your comments, thank you so much!!

Tink

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If my heart doesn't feel it first, the words will never find the page...

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/thesoulwriter0

[This message has been edited by TINK (edited 10-18-2002).]

OMG!!!!! Tink!!!!!!!
I get this!!!!!!!
I understand it all too well. WOW
You definitely got this painted accurately from my view.
Been there. More times than I wanted to. (but then isn't even once more often than anyone would want?)
That first verse is soooooooo good!!!!!!!
WOW

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Harriet

Tink

Having felt the loss of someone recently, strong emotions come to me from a lyric like this. Thank you for writing it.

I especially like the chorus. Do we ever say our last goodbye to someone we truly loved? Maybe if you mean when you go perhaps it should be Till instead of when.


VNORTH

Hi Harriet,

First off, sure hope you got my email. I can't remember which address I sent it to. If you don't have it, let me know and I'll resend it.

And secondly, THANK YOU!!!! That's what I like to hear! I sorta had an inkling YOU would get it! So, I'm real happy you stopped in and I'm thrilled to peaces , with the wonderful things you had to say!!

Peace!
Tink

Hey V,

I'm so sorry for your loss...

Thank you so much for your kind words regarding this lyric. It really means a lot to hear from someone who can feel what I'm trying to convey, so thank you, thank you...

And you are SO right with the "til" rather than the "when". I will change that right away....

Tink

Fairly solid stuff, Tink. Good to see ya back at it. Just a few thoughts for ya:

I didn't care for "drain that well", whether you're referring to a metaphorical well or are saying "drain that good." I didn't care for the "steam" line either. What you say about memories in V2 almost contradicts what you say about 'em in the chorus (the key word being "almost" ), and I also notice that the rhyme scheme of the chorus and verses are the same.

Still, fine job overall. Hope I could help ya with it.

Anthony


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Anthony's BeSonic site-- Open 24 hours!

Dammit Tink....

This reminds of that British Television show...what was it..oh, yeah..ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!

Great job.

dawg

Hiya Anth,

Thank you for your comments and insight... I was sorta thinking that "steam" line worked pretty good, given that tears are wet and wet stuff makes steam... whoops, you know what I mean.

and I was waiting for the "almost" nit. But I think I covered it by using the word "almost". Not much in way of defending the "well" line, other than I sorta kinda like it, 'less someone's got a better idea. That's what presented itself, so I went with it and now that i've pondered it, I still can't think of nuttin else.

Thanks again,
Tink
oh p.s.... the verses are actually abab, whereas the chorus is abcb. It's a little different..


------------------
If my heart doesn't feel it first, the words will never find the page...

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/thesoulwriter0

[This message has been edited by TINK (edited 10-18-2002).]

[This message has been edited by TINK (edited 10-18-2002).]

Hi Tinkapoo, I agree with Anthony. That steam stopped me in my tracks. I guess its because it water picking up steam sounds a bit strange, almost "too cute", because it is another state of water.

Maybe
its just a pause before the stream???

BSH

Hi Tink.....

You really touched my heart with this one. Some very beautiful thoughts and words here, and I happen to like "You'd think I'd drain that well". I cannot tell you how many times I've wondered "Where the heck do all these tears come from....don't they ever run out?" So.....that line worked for me. Great job on this.



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http://artists2.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Sharon_Longworth/

Hi Tink,
You certainly never loose your touch,this
is beautiful as usual.you are so talented,
you're bound to make it big one of these days

God bless
ClaireJeanne
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/claireandrick.htm

Hi Tink,

Great lines, " I'm back at life" — smooth rhythmic flow — easy 8 bar …

But this train of tears rolls on and on
_____________ and pick up steam

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Terry



[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 10-20-2002).]

Hey Dawgy!

I know that show! Thank you so much for the really sweet words... and can't wait for another of your sticky buns... been watching the airfares.

Tink

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If my heart doesn't feel it first, the words will never find the page...

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/thesoulwriter0

[This message has been edited by TINK (edited 10-18-2002).]

G'day Tink, This has just got to be the best song you ever did write!. Congratulations, well done and best wishes too, Ray in Australia.

Hi Tink. Absolutely beautiful lyrics. I was completely drawn in right from the start, no warm up period. Great Job!!
The one tiny little thing I would change would be the first line of V2. Instead of You're still all around me..
I would simply say
You are still around me
Little nit..
Again..Great Job!
Joanne

Hi Tink...

beautiful...sad lyrics... and I haven't been back on the board...to know..about any loss of someone close...but am sorry to hear of it......

was wondering..about vs 2..bringing me comfort and yet....and how that..goes along
with...I'd give anything to smile..

to me , your song...shows both heartfelt.and some painful mixed emotions......

well done Tink,

Kaley

HI {{{Tinkeroo!}}}}

As a Guy who Stays Away from Tearjerkers, I just gotta tellya this is the Most Beautiful One I ever Read. Twice!

Get Some Music for this & the World Will Weep a Path to Your Door.

"KUDOS" & "BRAVO," {{{{Kiddo!}}}"

Sorry for Your Loss that Inspired It.
Sometimes Beauty grows outta the Ugliest of Circumstances....Praise God!

Mighty Fine Job!

Big {{{{Tink}}}} Hugs!
Stan

Hi Johnjohn,

I'm not sure if the "pick up steam" is too cute in that area or not. I think alot of it would depend on the music and the emotions brought forth by the singer. As a lyric only, I can understand how it may seem that way, but I'm hoping it will work, cause "picking up steam" is really what I'm trying to say there. But, this is not carved in stone, is not gospel, so there's still a chance it could change and you've offered a pretty good substitution. Thank you and BSH!!

HI SUNNY!!! It's been such a long time since I've seen your name on the board!! How the heck are you?!

Thanks so much for the kind words on this lyric and I'm glad it touched you although it is a sad circumstance. I appreciate your encouragement!!

Tink

Another sad one from Tink... No fair. I wan't to see more smiley faces next to your song from now on...

We've already talked about the subject, but I wanted another look at the song.

Don't have much to say, other than it does it's job very well. It's soooooo sad.

Nice one Tink,

Curtis




[This message has been edited by Curtis Cameron (edited 10-20-2002).]

Hello, Cindy, beautiful feelings, beautifully expressed. Linda

[This message has been edited by sweetsong (edited 10-20-2002).]

Hi ClaireJeanne,

You are so sweet to say such wonderful things about my writing! You have no idea how uplifting it is to have this lyric validated, and my writing in general. Confidence in my writing is something I will probably always struggle with, so thank you, thank you!!!!

Tink
p.s.... sorry I've not been around to critique much, my house is torn apart right now for the painters and I'm doing this from work, which is a no-no, but I promise to come do my share soon as it's put back together!!

Hi Ya Tink,
This kind of reminds me how I feel about a couple people in my life right now. Good-byes are never easy, no matter the reason.

The verses were very nice sistah. You never seem to disappoint.

Take Care
Ria


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Ria's Song Lyrics

Hi Tink, I really was moved by this. It hit the spot for me as a good friend is very close to passing over any day with cancer. I don't know if the tears will ever dry. Idamarie

Hi TT! I see you've come back and editted your original post. If memory serves me, when I read it earlier, it had a different suggestion. I like what you've offered here and will certainly consider it for any rewriting. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and offer suggestions!!!

Hi Ray... you're so dang sweet!! Thank you so much!

Joanne, Wow, no warm up period?? That's teriffic!! I find myself not giving a lyric the proper chance sometimes if I'm not caught at the onset, so I truly appreciate you saying that! And your point is taken on the "all around me" line... thank you so much!!

KK!!! Its YOU!! So nice to see you back and I sincerely appreciate your comments! Thanks so much!

Tink

Hi Cindy,

You got me Tinkin'…

CHORUS

But this train of tears rolls on
Slows for the curves then picks up steam
Makin' me think a cry is over
When it’s really only in between



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Terry

I think it is so important to grab the listener with the first couple of lines if you want to get there interest or peak their curiousity. I confess to losing interest quickly... if it doesn't strike the cord right away I have a tendency to move on... I do have my faults.
Again... a beautiful song
Joanne

Beautiful, Tink. Very powerfully moving, and no nits. The "steam" line hit me the first time i read the lyric, and i loved it because i got what you were trying to say. Don't throw it away, please!
This maybe just me, but when i read through the lyric , i found myself thinking "That's ALL??" The repeated choruses there make it look long, but i can't help wishing there was more there to back up the lyric.
Great work, anyhow. I love reading every one of your songs because there is so much i learn from each of them. My favorite lyrics are not the cleverly written ones but the ones that i feel with, and you are *always* able to pull that off!
Cheers!
Pramod

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He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose...

Hi Stan... sorry it's taking me FOREVER to get back to everyone...

{{{BIG HUGS}}} for your kind words and knowing how you steer clear of tearjerkers most of the time really makes it that much more special to me that you did read it, and TWICE!! WOW! Thank you dear friend... and I hope to get music. Need to contact a friend.

Thanks again!
{{{Nuther big hug}}}
Tink

Hey Curtis,

So nice to have you adorning the board again. Almost sent the FBI out after ya, but I see tonight on tv, they're already in your backyard! (Sorry, that was a bad joke!)

And I love writing fun, smiling songs, too... but the sad ones seem to be felt more deeply, therefore they're closer to the surface, ya know? And hey! The one we got cooking isn't exactly a Comedy!!

Thank you so much for saying such sweet things.. I really appreciate it!!

Tink

I can't believe I haven't responded to this yet -- thought I did, but I checked and it wasn't there! This is very beautiful -- hits home for anyone who has lost a loved one. No nits from me.

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Mary Lou

Linda, Thank you, thank you and thank you again!!

Ria, hey GIRL!! Whew... it's been tough trying to get back here and to talk to you. Seems like it's been a while. Both our lives have been a bit crazy recently. Thanks so much for taking a look at this and for your kind words!!

Idamarie, I'm soooo sorry to hear about your friend. I have a relative in a similar position right now. It's only going to be a matter of time now. And I hate it. I hope you find comfort and peace. Thanks so much for your reply and {{{HUGS}}}!

Hi TT, More wonderful suggestions to chomp on. Thank you so much! I love the way you take such an active interest in lyrics! Don't change.

Joanne, I certainly have my faults too, and it sounds as though we share some of the same. Thanks for the comeback!!

Pramod, You have no idea how many times I have savored your reply to this lyric. It really touched me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

Noel, as always, it's so nice to "see" you. Thank you for taking the time to read this and reply.

Mary Lou, So glad you had a chance to look at this one. I thank you most kindly!!

Hope I didn't miss thanking anyone, I assure you, I've read each and every reply... some of them several times. Thank you all so much!

Tink

Tink -

Your song brought tears to my eyes ( no pun intended. Every line seems strong -
Your imagery is wonderful. WOW!

Emily

Hi Tink,

I must have missed this when my computer was down for a few days. I can relate to this one...this is just how it feels. You painted the picture right IMO. Only small thing I noticed was you using me to rhyme with me in v2, lines 1 & 3. Small thing and probably of no account anyway. You might consider trying this for that line in the chorus:
Sometimes they pause...then pick up steam

This is a beauty...

Bobbie