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IRAN
by Fdemetrio - 04/15/26 12:27 PM
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PETE
by Fdemetrio - 04/14/26 06:57 AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,357
Top 20 Poster
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OP
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Posts: 7,357 |
Couch was explaining his dislike of “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” recently at another site. The stupid song then got lodged in my head...and soon gave way to this goofy take off. She Thinks My Protractor’s Sexy ©2001 Corey Parkman (parody of Kenny Chesney’s “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”) v.1 Checkin’ test scores in the cool office air When my baby walks in, Lordy lookee there with pimento cheese spread and a 2 liter of ginger ale She pulls up a seat and I whip it on out What she came here to see, honey, there’s no doubt Just look at her face, it ain’t that hard to tell Chorus She thinks my protractor’s sexy It really makes her hot She says she likes my angles, I like her curves a lot She likes the way I measure to exact degrees Yeah, she really loves my geometry She’s the only one who proves my lovin’ theory She thinks my protractor’s sexy v.2 I check every inch till it’s time to go home I put away my tool and it makes her moan Honey, you’ve spent all day looking over increments She reaches her hand down into my drawer Says she wants to see me use it some more “Let’s stay here all night and check each other’s measurements” She thinks my protractor’s sexy It really makes her hot She says she likes my angles, I like her curves a lot She likes the way I measure to exact degrees Yeah, she really loves my geometry She’s the only one who proves my lovin’ theory She thinks my protractor’s sexy Bridge Well she ain’t into compasses or even slide rules But a plastic semi-circle makes her drool She thinks my protractor’s sexy It really makes her hot She says she likes my angles, I like her curves a lot She likes the way I measure to exact degrees Yeah, she really loves my geometry She’s the only one who proves my lovin’ theory She thinks my protractor’s sexy She thinks my protractor’s sexy She thinks my protractor’s sexy ------------------ There's no one so annoying as someone with more common sense than you, but less intelligence. -unknown http://www.edparkonline.homestead.com/Home.html
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 4,178
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OMG!!!! This is WONDERFUL!! Cletus would be on this like white on rice! And I didn't think anyone else in the free world knew what the hell pimento cheese is! To me, it's "hangover medicine". My husband knows I drank too much when I send him to the store for some pimento cheese!!! And the jars make perfect drinking glasses for the little ones.... You did a fantastic job with using the protractor theme all the way through. I never took geometry, so I'll have to trust you on that issue. I learned everything I know about measuring from men. I've been told for so long that ________________________ is 12 inches, I really don't know anymore! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/wink.gif) Good stuff and a nice way to break up the day! Tink
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,202
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Corey: This cracked me up!! It's perfect! Just what I needed this afternoon. Thanks for the laugh!
Ricki
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,125
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Corey, I needed this right now. You are a master at the double intended. I think that is more intense than inuendo. Also loved Tink's response. Another good chuckle. I've heard that line before too.
_________________________________ one foot
Oh Yea!! Idamarie
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Joined: Feb 2001
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You already know HOW MUCH I HATE THAT SONG! LOLLLLLLLLLLLL! This is MUCH Better than Kenny's version; that IS THE WORST song on the planet, next to Indian Outlaw!. Great read!
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,357
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OP
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Hi Tink. I used to love pimento cheese sandwiches...I hate 'em now, lol. I wish________________________ was 12 inches, lol. Thanks ricki and Idamarie. Glad I could get a laugh out of ya' in the middle of the day. Howdy, Blake. I thought the Kenny Chesney song was okay...the first time I heard it...but after that it was downhill. Consider this the silver lining of that dark cloud ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) . Corey
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 83
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Posts: 83 |
I guess I have to make a comment on this. I may try this version at karaoke. I think it would be fun. As for the 12" thing, it is like beauty, it is in the eyes of the beholder. You're not the holder of the right thing.
Good job
Darwin
P.S. food for thought: karaoke, is a Japanese word. From kara, meaning "empty". And oke, meaning "orchestra". That's not what I'd call it.
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
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Hi Corey!
Me & the teenyboppin' Son have been ustin' Out Laughin' at the Supper Table this Evening...(La Femme kept a Straight Face, how I'll never know!)
What a Hoot!
Nice Medicine for a Dull Thursday!
"KUDOS!"
Big Thanks for This One,
Guy-Hug, too!
Stan
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,357
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Thanks Darwin. You've got my blessing to hurt 'em with this one on karaoke night, lol. Thanks Stan. Glad you enjoyed! Corey
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 332
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Corey...you're a dang genius!! hillarious!
first I got a little smile from Sunny and now a down right hee-haw from you. Man this feels good. Loved every inch!!
I can't get pimento cheese here in Minnesota and everbody looks at me like I'm nuts when I ask. I think I hated it as a child but now that I can't have it I miss it soooo much!
Gotta make a point about the original...said you couldn't get it out of your head...sounds like they did their job! (as long as GREAT songwriting isn't one of them...and I can't judge cause I've never been accused of that either!)
personally I love a song with the words "jug of sweet tea"
man I'm homesick!
Thanks for the pick-me-up. I really needed that!!
Ray
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 196
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Just the best here..gave me a laugh in the middle of the night..(can't sleep). Oh and Ray, I have some pimento cheese watin for ya here in your hometown..come on down and get it!!! LOL...Jen (breezy)
------------------
Jen
Jen
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Thanks Eddie and Jen! I'm happy you got some late night laughs outta this silly thing. Yeah, if there's one good line in the original, it's the "basket full of chicken and a big ol' jug of sweet tea" line...makes me want to go on a picnic . Corey
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 123
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Hardee Har Har. This 'un's funny, Corey!
I think I hurt my ribs.
Ward
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Thanks Ward! Now get some medical attention . Corey
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 394
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Just wanted to restate what everyone else has already said...this is sooooo funny, I really got a kick out of it...thanks for the laughs kiddo!
Mary
------------------
If you write it . they will listen . but if you mean it . they will feel it!!!!!
"I have to flatter myself, if I don't NO ONE will!!"
Go Big or Go Home
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,072
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Hey Corey, well this is definitely an improvement over the original. Hell you should have though of this first! Kudos to ya on this fun, fun song.
David
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,357
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Thanks Mary. Glad I could kick you...errr, give you a kick...err, anyway thanks!
Howdy hotrod. Good to hear from you...thanks for the kind words!
Corey
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,654
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Corey, You certainly are deranged! A quality I can relate to and admire. Fun one here bud. Nice ANGLE for this one. Dan.
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Yessir, Dan, I have a twisted imagination. Glad you enjoyed this little glimpse inside . Corey
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,512
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Corey this is a RIOT!! Great sense of humor and the talent to back it up! Thanks for the laughter! It's been pretty scarce for me lately. Excellent writing!!
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Thanks bama. I'm glad I could lighten the mood a little . Corey
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