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12/01/2012: Back for a little re-mixing and added some mandolin parts. Still need to re-do the vocals to fix some crackling and "many years" instead of "30 years". Maybe Next year!

Kevin

*************************************************
Red Fire Truck
(c) Emmrich 2011

Back long ago,
I remember a Christmas season
my dad always saying that
things happen for a reason

one year I prayed and hoped,
besides a GI Joe,
I would get my heart's desire in that toy store window

I said "God, I know you're near
please tell Santa I was good this year,
and can you ask him for me please...

(chorus)
bring me that red fire truck
with the dalmatian and bells
and ladders and a siren
and you'll never hear me crying
if you do this for me
you'll have no regrets
cause I'll never ask for anything else

(verse)
Dad got laid off in November
tough to pay bills in December
mama cried, Dad said, don’t worry, it’s time for gifts
went to joe's last chance junkyard
scrounged for wheels and truck parts
we spent the week fixing,
painting, making it look sleek

(lift)
As I sanded, my daddy hummed
His favorite Christmas tune
while in my mind the words went

(chorus again)

(bridge/lift)
although I knew what was coming
I still ran down to unwrap
I swear it was my best Christmas ever

now 30 years later, my son’s request
brought back that memory.
I guess I could just buy it,
but my son deserves a better gift from me

You see, he asked me please:

(chorus again and tag)

Kevin: Vocals, Acoustic Guitar
BIAB: drums, bass, acoustic guitar, piano, mandolin, harmonica


Originally Posted by 2011 update
11/29/11 -- OK, getting ready to dust this off again. I've re-mixed a little, added a piano part -- but I still need to re-do the first verse (some crackling in there) and add more harmonies. Plus there are some phrasing/melodic suggestions down below that I want to consider.

For those reading along for the first time, you will see discussions on a "TV" section. No one liked it and I canned it -- see I do listen to suggestions!!

Few questions:
1.) Are the drums too much? I can sample other drum parts
2.) Think of changing line 1 to "Many years ago" -- better or not much of a difference.
3.) How's the mix?
4.) Does the lead vocal need to lowered slightly? (I thought I adjusted it, but it still sounds loud).
5.) Who added those stars?? I appreciate it, but it seems sort of awkward.



Originally Posted by Original Post
One of MAB's crew came up with a song about a big truck that was a Christmas present. That inspired me to give a Christmas song a try (different story line, of course).

Music/phrasing is still awkward here and there, I plan on re-recording next weekend -- so suggestions are welcome.

Kevin

P.S. If you are under headphones and hear extraneous voices it is just the TV and fam upstairs -- you're not going crazy (I always pull the headphones off and go what?? But no one is there! Actually, there are lots of extraneous noises in there.

********************************************
Red Fire Truck
(c) Emmrich 2010

Back long ago,
I remember a Christmas season
my dad always saying that
things happen for a reason

well that year I prayed and hoped,
that, besides the GI Joe,
I would get my heart's desire in that toy store window

I said "God, I know you're near, please tell Santa
I was good this year, and can you ask him for me please ...

(chorus)
bring me that red fire truck
with the dalmatian and bells
and the ladders and the siren
and you'll never hear me crying
and if you do this for me
you'll have no regrets
cause I'll never ask for anything else

(verse)
but Dad got laid off in November
it was tough to pay bills in December
mama cried, Dad said, don’t worry, it’s time for gifts

went to joe's last chance junkyard
scrounged for wheels and truck parts
and we spent the week fixing,
painting, making it look sleek

While I sanded, the TV came on
some boy was on Santa's lap
and then he begged and pleaded to him

(chorus again)

and although I knew what was coming
I still ran down to unwrap
and I swear it was my best Christmas ever

so today when my boy told me what he desired
I knew just what to do.
Yea I could just buy it,
but my son deserves the best I can do

You see, he asked me please:

(chorus again)

Kevin: Vocals, Acoustic Guitar
BIAB: drums, bass, acoustic guitar

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 12/02/12 10:09 AM.

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I enjoyed the flow of the story in the song. One thing I'd like to see you change are the excessive usage of "and", "buts", and other fillers that don't need to be there. I'm guilty of doing that myself sometimes in my own songs, so it's something to be mindful of in order to cut down on filler words that don't need to be there.

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Hey Kevin, nice tune and I like the theme of the story but
some parts are a little confusing,this line "mama cried, Dad
said, don’t worry, it’s time for gifts" gives the impression
that gifts are about to be handed out, then in then following
lines it turns out that the gifts are in the process of being
made, in the last verse I'm assuming that the singer intends
building a fire truck rather than going the easier route of
buying one but that is a little unclear, good start though
and a nice twist to the Christmas themed song,

Tony.

Tony A #859282 11/21/10 04:41 PM
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Great story, Kevin. Really resonated with me because my dad used to do the same thing. It's funny that I now remember the times we spent working more than I do the finished product. smile

This feels pretty good to me - yeah some phrasing issues but those are easily solved. The only part I'm not entirely sold on is the part where the kid is on TV. It seems a little off the story - and used primarily as a way to get to the chorus again.

I wonder if there isn't a more effective way to get back to the chorus and still keep the story tight?

Very nice work on this - I would keep nibbling away at the lyric until it's there.

Scott


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Kevin,

I liked the song, but agree that there are rushed lines in there, I'm just addressing singing issues, which is difficult without singing it.


These lines need trimmed:


I would get my heart's desire in that toy store window

I said "God, I know you're near, please tell Santa
I was good this year, and can you ask him for me please ...



I think you should try singing this line differently instead of sitting on "do"....and if you....do this...for me


and if you do this for me


This maybe can be sung: and spent the week fixing, painting (then pause) making it look sleek...


and we spent the week fixing,
painting, making it look sleek


Don't know if that makes sense, hard to type out what sings in my head...

Tammy



http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
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Kevin--

Nice story--I had a lot of Christmas's like that--LOVE is MORE than the PRESENT.

Mackie

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HIYa Brother Kevin!

Like Everything about what ya got here EXCEPT the "Kid on TV"...he's very Distracting. I'd have Singer do a Dream Sequence...where he dreams...The Chorus...eh? (What a Surprise!) ;-)>

"KUDOS" Overall...HAS that "Christmas Spirit"..in-Depth!

Good Luck with it, Amigo!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

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Sweet tune and story.

I like many of the images and rhymes e.g "sirens"

There are some lyrical flow snags but you mentioned that, so I'll wait for u to fix them.

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G*Watt: On just about every song I write someone mentions that (ha, ha). And then I go about cutting them out and the song is always improved. Thanks for being the one on this song (one of these days, I figure it at on my own). Thanks for the visit and comments.

TonyA: Hmmm, is it really confusing? Lyrically it doesn't seem to be a big jump on the gifts angle -- but maybe it is in the song presentation? I think on it some. Thanks for listening and the heads up on those sections.

Scott: I am surprised that you (and Stan) tripped up on the TV thing. I thought it passed the plausibility factor (it certainly could happen that way). But once you have a few folks mentioning something, then maybe it needs to be looked at. Right now I am resisting the change, but I've been wrong before. Yes, it was a device to get back to the chorus, but it came naturally. I am glad that the story resonates and seems believable. Thanks for stopping by!

Tammy: Thanks for coming by and giving me the phrasing/singing advice. Coming from you, I will definitely take it seriously. I want to re-record it tonight, but I don't know if I'll get to it. I am heading out for Thanksgiving on Wed. for a few days, so it might take me until the weekend to re-record.

I'll come back for the others a little later -- dinner time!

Kevin






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Mackie: Thanks for stopping by and giving it a spin. Glad you enjoyed it.

Tampa Stan: Dang, another one not liking the kid on TV. I thought that worked -- shows what I know (ha, ha). Thanks for the visit and the suggestion.

Martin: Thanks for coming by and giving it a spin. My favorite rhyme was actually the "junkyard -- truck parts" couplet. A little bit of a stretch, but I "think" it worked.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
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Well Kevin
I'm a sucker for a good story and you provide one here.
There are already some good suggestions from Tony A. and Gregory Watton so I'll save my .02 cents for a rainy day.
Nicely done

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Nelson: Thanks for the visit and comments. I have gotten a lot of good input on this one!

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
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Wow Kevin, awesome stuff man. The lyrics really touched me--the imagery really stands out [Linked Image] [Linked Image]

Cheers, ian

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Ian: Thanks for stopping by and the kind words. I don't think I'll get back to fixing this one up in time for this Christmas (you never know, though) -- but there is always next year!

Kevin


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Kevin: Well, you know how to tug on the heartstrings for sure, and I really loved the uplifting sentiment of the father & son making a present together. Almost like they got a different kind of present before it got stuck under the tree. Do agree with previous comments re the TV. I immediately wondered, "how the hell did that kid get on TV?.
Nice song liked it a lot.
p.s. I once got a red fire truck for Christmas.

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Ott: Thanks for the comments -- doesn't anyone out there (besides me) like that TV/Boy/santa's lap diversion (ha, ha)? I thought the "red fire truck" was going to be pretty universal.

Kevin


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Originally Posted by Kevin Emmrich
Ott: Thanks for the comments -- doesn't anyone out there (besides me) like that TV/Boy/santa's lap diversion (ha, ha)? I thought the "red fire truck" was going to be pretty universal.

Kevin

Hi Kevin, I think the strength of this song is the father-son relationship. So yeah, I think in a way the sudden appearance of the 'boy on TV' is a distraction from that relationship. What I really like is the chorus; it really stands out for me--I think Red Fire Truck is a great title, and as a songwriter I would like to see/hear more imagery that weaves firefighting metaphors with the father-son relationship--instead of the boy on TV, try ramping up some relationship conflict? I get this vibe from the song. I think this could be a classic, something along the lines of Miranda Lambert's The House That Built Me. I really do.

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Thanks for all the comment and suggestions. I incorporated as many as I could. I hope I made it better (ha, ha). I not too excited about the "sanding" stanza, so I'll think on that some more.

Kevin

*************************************************
Red Fire Truck (12/04/10 version)
(c) Emmrich 2010

Back long ago,
I remember a Christmas season
my dad always saying that
things happen for a reason

one year I prayed and hoped,
besides a GI Joe,
I would get my heart's desire in that toy store window

I said "God, I know you're near
please tell Santa I was good this year,
and can you ask him for me please...

(chorus)
bring me that red fire truck
with the dalmatian and bells
and ladders and a siren
and you'll never hear me crying
if you do this for me
you'll have no regrets
cause I'll never ask for anything else

(verse)
but Dad got laid off in November
tough to pay bills in December
mama cried, Dad said, don’t worry, it’s time for gifts
went to joe's last chance junkyard
scrounged for wheels and truck parts
and we spent the week fixing,
painting, making it look sleek

(lift)
While I sanded, my daddy hummed
His favorite Christmas tune
While in my mind the lyrics went

(chorus again)

(bridge/lift)
and although I knew what was coming
I still ran down to unwrap
and I swear it was my best Christmas ever

Now, 20 years later, my son’s request
brought back that memory.
I guess I could just buy it,
but my son deserves a better gift from me

You see, he asked me please:

(chorus again and tag)

Kevin: Vocals, Acoustic Guitar
BIAB: drums, bass, acoustic guitar


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
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Hi Kevin

Good song idea and great singing delivery... It occurred to me that if you could get a young boys voice for a duo it would be real cool on this.

There are still a few places that I think could flow better lyrically with the music.....

the last 2 lines of the chorus

you'll have no regrets
cause I'll never ask for anything else

seems like you could say something simpler there...

it's all i need
to make me very happy

speaking from a child pov would be more 'simple'

same with 'lyrics' - a child might say 'song' or 'tune'

so I would shoot for language of a younger mind for those parts even though the singer is now grown.....

jm



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Hi,

Good story & I like this part best...

(lift)
While I sanded, my daddy hummed
His favorite Christmas tune
While in my mind the lyrics( WORDS ) went

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #862393 12/05/10 09:47 AM
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Hi Neil.. ooops! I mean Kevin. wink

Plenty of people have made good suggestions. wink
Just want to say I enjoyed the song. Lovely concept, good performance.

Donna


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Life is too important to take seriously.






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R1NGG1T: Thanks for the kind words. I updated it, but I think it still needs one more shot.

Joice: I agree with you on "lyrics" and Calvin makes a good suggestions. I can hear a kid going "I'll never ask for anything else" but I'll work on that some more. Thanks for stopping by and for the comments!

Calvin: You're right "words" would work better there. Thanks for the suggestion.

Donna: Ha, ha on the "Neil" thing. Thanks for the visit and the comments.

Kevin


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Hi Kevin. Sorry I've come in a bit late on this one.
I hope you don’t mind me offering my 2 cents worth.

I did think straight away that the first line is a bit lacking.. Maybe blunt with a touch of yoda.

Also not sure how the Dalmatian fits with fire truck and bells.

Back long ago… two of the words sort of say the same thing.

all IMO Kevin...

So. KOS

So long ago,
I remember those Christmas seasons
my dad always SAID that
things happen for GOOD reasons

One TIME I prayed and hoped,
besides a GI Joe,
I COULD SEE my heart's desire
In that toy store window

I said "God, I know you're near
please tell Santa I’VE BEEN good this year,
Can you ask him JUST for me please...

(chorus)
bring me that red fire truck
with FIRE STATION , TOY bells
PLASTIC ladders and a siren.
GOD you'll never hear me crying
if you do this for me
you'll have no regrets
cause I WONT ASK FOR anything else

(verse)
THEN Dad got laid off in November
HAD LOTS OF BILLS COMING IN December
Mama cried, AS Dad said, don’t worry, it’s time for gifts
SPENT TIME AT joe’s OLD Junkyard
Scrounging FOUR wheels and truck parts
Spent the week TOGETHER fixing,
Painting, making it look sleek

(lift)
While I sanded, my daddy hummed
OUR favorite Christmas tune
While in my mind the lyrics went

Last edited by Roy Cooper; 12/08/10 07:58 AM.

'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

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Roy: Thanks for taking your time to go through the song in-depth. You make a lot of good points. I get back from traveling on Saturday night and will try and record a final version (this year at least) on Sunday. I think I have pretty much locked down the lyrics for this go around, but I'll re-look at all the suggestions here before I do that final take.

Dalmatians: (ha, ha) must be a U.S. thing.
Originally Posted by http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dalmatian_(dog)
...Particularly in the United States, the use of Dalmatians as carriage dogs was transferred to horse-drawn fire engines, although it is unclear why this link was not made in other countries. Today the Dalmatian serves as a firehouse mascot but, back in the days of horse-drawn fire carts, they provided a valuable service. Dalmatians and horses are very compatible, so the dogs were easily trained to run in front of the carriages to help clear a path and quickly guide the horses and firefighters to the fires. Dalmatians are often considered to make good watchdogs and it is believed that Dalmatians may have been useful to fire brigades as guard dogs to protect a firehouse and its equipment. Fire engines used to be drawn by fast and powerful horses, a tempting target for thieves, so Dalmatians were kept in the firehouse as deterrence to theft. The horses have long since gone, but the Dalmatians, by tradition, have stayed. As a result, in the United States, Dalmatians are commonly known as firehouse dogs. Dalmatians are still chosen by many firefighters as pets, in honor of their heroism in the past.


Originally Posted by http://www.local1259iaff.org/dalmatians.html
The Dalmatian is a very physical breed, with a strong, muscular body, and able to run great distances without tiring.
The Dalmatian also has what seems to be a natural calming effect on horses. This trait about the breed
was seen very early on, and soon the Dalmatian was identified with horses.


Kevin


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So the Dalmation does go with a fire truck kevin.

Sorry I thought it was a pet he wanted. Dooohh

I often come in late... ask Helen

God Bless Roy and Helen


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Hi Kevin,

It looks like I'm late getting to this one. I can definitely hear a child saying “I'll never ask for anything else”. It's a very sweet song.:)

Dottie

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I think this is the final edition for this year.

Well, I would like to add a smoking electric guitar part to it -- maybe next year???

Kevin


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Hi Kevin,

I'm another one late to the party on this, but I'm so glad I found it. What a SWEET story....reminds me of what Christmas on Walton's Mountain might have been like. Love the notion of the Dad and son working side by side....

I think it has a timely message as well -- that homemade can beat store-bought any old time.

I also enjoyed you're somewhat unorthodox rhyme schemes. Thought the "best/request" one linking the bridge to the last verse was very clever.

The only teensy nit I had was the second lift. Aside from no rhyme, which is no biggie, I don't know that the last line is as smooth as it might be. Maybe something like...

As I sanded, my daddy hummed
His favorite Christmas tune
WHILE FOR ME, THESE WORDS RANG TRUE


Not sure that's a better compromise...really just food for thought I guess.

Otherwise, a real nice song here. Thanks for sharing, and Happy Holidays...

Beth


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Hi Kevin,

I figured I better listen, since this one has 5 stars. smile

Sweet one, and the production sounds really good too. The little touch of harp fit in so well.

I especially like the kid praying to God to tell Santa what to bring him. I can just hear a kid doing that. Very real.

Ricki

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Hey Kevin, this is very good and I thought I had already commented on this one, but guess not...glad I came back to it..glyn

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I like this overall, Kevin. It's one of the best phrased songs I've heard from you yet. I can tell you are working with that. Lyrics meters really good, and the backing track is perfect. Before the redo I would suggest working particularly on the last line leading up to the choruses. The melody didn't seem well defined there, and caused you trouble, so work on defining a phrasing you like and stick with that.

Mixwise, I would pull down the vocal 1-2db to make it sit better in the mix.

But, it's worth working with this Kevin. You'll end up with your best song yet, I think! Singer/songwriter stuff with Neil Young influences are actually in high demand right now in tv/film land.

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Unfortunately, I tried to do a take at 5:30 yesterday morning to fix a couple of spots -- ha, ha -- I can definitely tell where I punched in, so I'll have to re-do one more time to make it seem more natural.

Beth:
Quote
I also enjoyed you're somewhat unorthodox rhyme schemes. Thought the "best/request" one linking the bridge to the last verse was very clever.
Might be clever -- but I didn't do it on purpose -- LOL! Yes, those lifts are still a little rough. I'll keep working on it. Thanks for the visit.

Rickie: Just call me 5-star Kev (dang!) Thanks for stopping by and giving it a listen. I have a song that I want to do a duet on. If a potential co-writer doesn't come back by January, I'll be giving you a ring in February (RPM!).

glyn: I thought you were here also and it is always nice when you drop by.

Magne: Thanks for the comments and suggestions. I did drop the lead vox 2db, but I need some more work overall on it. I keep trying!

Kevin


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Hello! Re-doing this one for this year's holiday season!! Last minute comments/suggestions always welcome.

Red Fire Truck
(c) Emmrich 2011

Kevin


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Few questions:
1.) Are the drums too much? I can sample other drum parts
maybe too loud but not over the top with fills
2.) Think of changing line 1 to "Many years ago" -- better or not much of a difference.
I'd rather see a year here...back in '88....
3.) How's the mix?
other than the drums too loud...decent
4.) Does the lead vocal need to lowered slightly? (I thought I adjusted it, but it still sounds loud).
I didn't notice it so ok there...


Kevin, I think my main nit with this is that it didn't grab me emotionally. I couldn't empathize with a kid wanting something that bad. There needs to be an emotional connection there. I know you come in with the dad being laid off but I would have rather had the kid wanting it for someone else--some kind of twist that ties it all together. All from the eyes of a kid....who wouldn't be heart-tugged with a kid doing everything he can to get a truck for a sick friend or a kid that has no dad, etc? Just my 2...

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KEVIN-


JMHO

1. Drums 1.5 db hot in CH
2. Maybe: “Way back in time”
3. Add a little sparkle to vocals
4. Up with vol 1.5db

Sounds like a winner!

Mackie

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Hey Kevin,
I've answered your questions below, followed by other comments & little suggestions, keep or sweep smile

Few questions:
1.) Are the drums too much? I can sample other drum parts. I like 'em.
2.) Think of changing line 1 to "Many years ago" -- better or not much of a difference. I like "many years ago".
3.) How's the mix? Overall, good
4.) Does the lead vocal need to lowered slightly? (I thought I adjusted it, but it still sounds loud). In the latter part of the song, vocal gets louder.
5.) Who added those stars?? I appreciate it, but it seems sort of awkward.

Kevin

*************************************************
Red Fire Truck
(c) Emmrich 2011

my dad always saying "Son
things happen for a reason"

I'd get my heart's desire in that toy store window


(chorus)
bring me that red fire truck (Since this is your title I'd repeat it as maybe the last line of the Chorus.)




“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!


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Hey Kevin:

I think this is a big improvement over the earlier version. In fact, I think it's pretty much there. Maybe still a phrasing issue or two - mostly thinking of these lines:

we spent the week fixing,
painting, making it look sleek

But it's a better story now. And the mix sounded good to me too.

Only other thing I wondered about was whether the line before the chorus could lift more (melodically) into the chorus. However, I should say I wondered that at the first chorus but didn't notice at the others - so it might just be that it went against my expectation the first time.

As I mentioned above, this really resonated with me because of my own experiences along these lines. Now it does even more. smile

Scott

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Hi Kevin,

I love love love this! I have a 2 year old grandson and I can't help but think of him while I listen to this. I have a couple of VERY minor suggestion below IF you redo this, but I think it sounds great! Your voice in this is perfect and quite possibly the best singing I've ever heard you do. smile

Back A long time ago, With a pronounced like in ago.
I remember a Christmas season
my dad always saying that
things happen for a reason Great verse!

one year I prayed and hoped,
besides a GI Joe,
I would That I'd get my heart's desire in that toy store window

I said "God, I know you're near
please tell Santa I was good this year,
and can you ask him for me please... I love this too and your vocal sounds so sincere, it's perfect.

(chorus)
bring me that red fire truck
with the dalmatian and bells
and ladders and a siren
and you'll never hear me crying
if you do this for me
you'll have no regrets
cause I'll never ever ask for anything else If you could fit in an extra syllable.

(verse)
Dad got laid off in November
tough to pay bills in December
mama cried, Dad said, don’t worry, it’s time for gifts
went to joe's last chance junkyard
scrounged for wheels and truck parts
we spent the week fixing, These last 2 or 3 lines don't sound as smooth as the rest of the song, but they don't sound bad.
painting, making it look sleek

(lift)
As I sanded, my daddy hummed
His favorite Christmas tune
while in my mind the words went

(chorus again)

(bridge/lift)
although I knew what was coming
I still ran down to unwrap
I swear it was my best Christmas ever

now 30 years later, my son’s request
brought back that memory.
I guess I could just buy it,
but my son deserves a better gift from me

You see, he asked me please:

(chorus again and tag)

Don't get me wrong even if you don't change anything I still think it's great. I just heard a few words slightly different. smile

Dottie

Last edited by Dottie; 11/30/11 03:02 PM.
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Hey there Kevin...you've got yourself a great feel-good Christmas song!! Nice singing and playing....a great production, as well!
Merry Christmas! -Tom

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VERY WELL DONE, something to be proud of.

Calvin


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Hi Kev

Good, and a little different too...

1- Drums are great just a tad lower, then you can take the vocal back just a tad after that.

2- Many years is better

3- The mix is nice, lower the drums and everything else will fall right into place. Also the vocal will be easier to blend after that,

4- See above smile

5- Dont understand this one lol

and #6 Did you know that I owned at the same time EVERY GI JOE ever made from 1964 - 1974 smile

Even The Nurse smile from 1967....
And the Race Car form 67 I was one of only 11 in the whole world
known to have one. And The State Police Set Boxed with Instructions the only one in the WORLD known to have it complete smile

Greatest Toy/Action figure EVER!!!!

Mike


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Peace Mike
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Kevin, The drums sound fine to me. You get a lot of good sound out of that biab. The lyric you mentioned is six to one half a dozen to the other. They work equally well. The mix and vocal sound good to me also.

Keep up the good work.


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Zeek: I eased off on the drums a tad and tried to level out the vocals a little.
Quote
...I think my main nit with this is that it didn't grab me emotionally. I couldn't empathize with a kid wanting something that bad. ... but I would have rather had the kid wanting it for someone else--some kind of twist that ties it all together. ....who wouldn't be heart-tugged with a kid doing everything he can to get a truck for a sick friend or a kid that has no dad, etc?...
I understand -- but that's another song. This story will stay as is, but maybe next Christmas, I'll tackle your good idea. Thanks for the visit and thoughtful comments.

Mackie: I am going to go with "Many years ago ...." when I get a chance to re-record. I tried to add a little mutli-band EQ to the vocals to get more "sparkle" in there -- but I don't think I know what knobs to turn to get a sparkle!! Thanks for stopping by and giving it a spin.

R. Shayne: Thanks for chiming in. Yea, I probably should sneak in "Red Fire Truck" again -- but I didn't get that done this time around.

Scott: "we spent the week fixing, painting, making it look sleek" That line is a little tough. I hear you on the lift into the chorus -- I sort of talk or lose a little energy there. I'll have to revisit that. Thanks for giving it a spin again this year.

Dottie: You picked out the same areas as Scott (and others!). Thanks for the listen and comments.

Cognac: Thanks for taking the time to listen and leave a few words.

Calvin: I sort of like this one myself (ha, ha)! Merry Okeechobee Christmas.

Mike: I had to throw little GI Joe action in there! I've adjusted the drums and vocals a little -- we'll see how it goes.

Dan: I had already adjusted the drums a little by the time you got there. Thanks for stopping on by!!

Thanks to all and to all, a Merry Christmas season!

Kevin



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Sorry -- but I'll probably bump this once a week until Christmas. Probably Bad, Bad Santa too!!!


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Hi Kevin,

Dottie: You picked out the same areas as Scott (and others!). Thanks for the listen and comments.

OOPS sorry I didn't read the comments, too many of them. smile

Dottie

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Originally Posted by Dottie
OOPS sorry I didn't read the comments, too many of them. smile


Hello, most of the time it is better to review without reading all that other stuff first! It helps the writer, too. If we hear the same thing from multiple people, it always carries a little more weight.

I placed Red Fire Truck over in the Songramp's Christmas song of the month thingy and it doesn't seem to be doing too well. Maybe it is just too boring or it missed its mark in other ways (story, vocals, arrangement ...). It is hard to tell for me.

Thanks again,

Kevin


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I like this song but it's hard to tell much about the mix on this laptop.

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Originally Posted by BillH
I like this song but it's hard to tell much about the mix on this laptop.


Bill, welcome to the JPF and don't be a stranger. Yea, some laptop speakers aren't the greatest. My songs need all the help they can get (ha, ha).

Kevin


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Actually Kevin, I liked it the first time I heard it. Seems to me you keep improving it!

It brings back memories for me of Christmas. Kids are
always gonna want some special thing, but the best thing is to have that parent who will share the experience with you in a special way - and your song sings that.

Doug

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Doug: Thanks for bravely giving it a spin and for the kind words!


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh
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