Another cute collab. Just me stoppin' to comment on your hoppin'. Another nice one for the kids. Very upbeat and fun. Guess if they act out the song w/hops it won't be a song they'll sing right after snack/lunctime.


The only things that I see, not even nits as I read and these are soooo minor but I'll mention are these:

Mr. Bunny wouldn't be a bunny if he's already a Mr. Maybe change to "fuzzy bunny" or "Mr. Rabbit". Also I was wondering in verse 4 if you could keep the order that the animals come in to the story the same i.e. frog, toad, bunny, cricket instead of frog, cricket, bunny, toad. This might help the kids keep it straighter or BETTER YET TAKE THEIR NAMES AND ADD A PHONETICALLY FRIENDLY FIRST PART TO THEIR NAME (EX. freddy frog) WHICH WILL HELP THE KIDS REMEMBER AND MAKE IT EVEN MORE PLAYFUL SUCH AS:

Freddy Frog, Tommy Toad, Funny (Sunny) (Fluffy) Bunny, and replace cricket since he's an insect and just use Kangaroo since Kangaroo's hop and fit more into this animal family. Kangaroo has more syllables so he won't need a pre-name, but if you need a one syllable before Kangaroo you could say "a Kangaroo", or keep cricket and call him "Carl" "Kevin" , etc. Cricket.

Just some thoughts. This will be a good song for the little ones to get out the wiggles before sit down time.

Best,
Lynn

Last edited by LyricalLynn; 01/20/07 01:21 AM.
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