Hi Cousin,
This is one hell of a good story and reads and sings well,even for a guy whose voice sounds like a goose farting in the fog.It's a long lyric but needed I guess to tell the tale.
I like these story songs and have written a few myself so I know you must have done a few writes before posting.
No suggestions just good luck with it
Travis


We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde