I like what you have, Tom.
You delivered with your usual honesty.
I think there should be a contrast somewhere to save the singer from his weakness. I realise the narrator needs to be fragile but maybe a short bridge creating that contrast would work.
Something like:
"There's someplace, I can find,
somewhere lost in my mind"
Just thinking,
Vic

It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold