Hi all. I haven't posted here in a while so I apologize for not reviewing some songs before posting this. However, I had started a previous thread in the Songwriting forum about problems rhyming the verses in this song and felt it more appropriate to post the lyrics here.

I had sent the original version of this song to the NSAI evaluation service and the reviewer loved the song except for the fact that my verses didn't rhyme and the word "groom" was outdated. The problem with fixing that was that I had to come up with two different rhymes for the word "girl." As some of you know, that's not exactly an easy thing to do. Anyway, without boring you with more details, here's the original version of Ugly Friend (some of you may remember me posting this here last year)...

UGLY FRIEND
Copyright 2005 Van Borden

Does your friend, always win
When you both like a beautiful girl
Does he have, the cosmetic appeal
That you were never born with

When you both, join the crowd
Do the women all look at him
You groom yourself, but you know it’s no good
It’s like you’re not even there

CHORUS
You need an Ugly Friend
That’s the only way to always win
You need an Ugly Friend
So they’ll look at you
Instead of him

Have you stopped, inviting him
To go look for beautiful girls
Cause you know, if you let him go
You’ll just be wasting your time

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE
Now I know this doesn’t sound like
A friendship that’ll be true
But why the hell, do you think
Your friend hangs around with you

REPEAT CHORUS

Below are the new verses that rhyme but I must admit to being concerned that the way I made the rhymes work might be references to things that are too obscure. If you are so inclined, please advise if you think they are too obscure or if they are actually clever. Naturally, I hope the latter the be the case... [Linked Image]

NEW VERSE I
Does your friend, always win
When you both like a beautiful girl
Does he have, the cosmetic appeal
That makes you envious of a blind squirrel

NEW VERSE II
When you both, join the crowd
Your fate is already sealed
You smile and wave but you know it's no good
It's your destiny to be a third wheel

NEW VERSE III
You'd better stop, inviting him
To go look for beautiful girls
Until you do, they won't look at you
Unless they pound a few twelve ounce curls

Feedback is appreciated and I will make an attempt to review some other songs on a more regular basis.

thanks,

Van



[This message has been edited by Buzz Grudge (edited 03-04-2005).]

Van Borden
a.k.a. Buzz Grudge