Ken: I have to agree with some of the others above, there are a lot of words here, and so many images that they don't coalesce into a linear story. I don't care for "glistening" as an adjective for a firefly(Rose) I think "flickering" or "twinkling" is more descriptive of how they appear. "Flaying" is another adjective that I think is off. Maybe "raging" or "swaying" might work. I'd get rid of the poetic verboseness and just tell a story about real people. /Glen



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