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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,867
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,867 |
Hey Kaley,
I just love your work. It has a power to it and I believe you will find a grand home for it.
My only suggestion is one that I tell all writers of children's stories or songs. That little suggestion is to be very aware of any words that the little ones may not understand so as not to cause a confusion in their heads with misunderstood words. My only concern on that note is in the first line where you say "woke with a start." I don't think kids would understand what that means and so they will be confused right off the bat.
Perhaps you could use words for that phrase to which they would more readily relate?
Other than that, it's sheer genius.
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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