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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 840
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 840 |
Thank you for the great feedback Gary, Kevin, Wy, and John!!
I will keep at this one. Think I will start with him at the bridge, Kevin. I used plank to get across that he was planning on jumping off, but I can come up with another way. Wy, I'm going to rewrite and rearrange the story, thanks! You are right, John, do away with the poetry. The first write was extremely poetic (this was a rewrite of that so hopefully the next write will be closer). I've decided to rewrite the chorus too.
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